To tell Dh until he can learn to be quiet he is on the sofa

[Dollymixtureyumyum]

Grrrr Rage just sent DH downstairs to sleep and told he unless he learns to be quiet he better get used to it.
9 times out of 10 I am in her before Dh who is a bit of a night owl.
Every night when he comes to bed he slams the longie door, stomps up the stairs, makes a noise like a herd of elephants taking his contacts out on the bathroom by knocking over at least three things, manages to trip coming in bedroom over his own feet, sits on the bed with a thump, routes in bedside table for pills, pops pills out of holder, lies down and them decides he needs to plug his phone charger in so more bloody noise.
I completely lost it when he then decided to read via his phone with it right next to my head so I could see the light through my eyelids.
He is now downstairs and I am wide awake
I have had the conversation about maybe leaving his pills downstairs and contacts and doing all this before he comes up or doing everything when I come to bed then it is done but he finds this far too "taxing" and "forgets".
I know I am so grumpy and this is not a major problem compared to a lot but disturb my sleep at your peril and he bloody knows it

My DH is exactly the same! YANBU.
It's completely selfish to come up to bed when others are sleeping and bang and crash around without consideration.

If I was your DH I would point blank refuse to sleep on the sofa.

I wouldn't give up my bed for nobody.

Earplugs are uncomfortable as is an eye mask - why should op be uncomfortable as her Dh can't sort himself out and come to bed without causing disturbance - it is hardly rocket science to prepare his meds and contacts so that he can do that before he comes to bed. Nor to shut doors quietly and come upstairs in a soft footed fashion.

My DH is exactly the same. I go up early and often fall asleep quickly. He stomps upstairs, across the landing, then up our stairs, switches the light on for the ensuite, after trying 3 different switches for the right one - creating a disco effect in the process, slams the door, I've never worked out how someone can create so much noise getting undressed?? Throws him self on the bed, plugs his phone in, pulls the covers all over the place letting my warm air out ?? Then proceeds to fidget, breathe heavily, fart and snore all night. And gets the hump if I wake him up to tell him to go down stairs!!

Everything sounds noisier at night when you're the one lying in bed trying to sleep.

I'm with piper

He shouldn't be accepting being told to sleep on a sofa in his home.

But Piper if you were OP's DH would you make the effort to organise yourself and come up to bed quietly after you were asked the first time?

There is actually another reason that I should have mentioned that has come into my head now I have calmed down and I have brought this up with his before.
I have epilepsy which is triggered by not enough sleep. So I feel very annoyed that he is poss putting me at risk of a seizure as I find it so hard to get back to sleep once disturbed. Also I do wear ear plugs (expensive ones that have been moulded to my ears) he is that noisy the noise comes right through them.

I feel for you OP as my DH is the same but you can't banish an adult to the sofa.

What if it was you being woken just after you had fallen asleep, then again several times through out the night, every, single, night.... Then had to get up every morning at 6 am to do a 12 hour shift?? Functioning on broken sleep?
I know my DH is noisy day or night, but if it's been pointed out to him and he still hasn't made an effort to be quieter then that's plain disrespectful Dollymixture. Maybe making him sleep on the sofa will quickly encourage him to make more of an effort?

Sorry but how do you 'make' a grown adult do that? How?

YANBU

He is being very selfish.....I understand if this was once in a while but to be so inconsiderate on a daily basis if pretty poor form.

If he doesn't want to sleep on the sofa then I'd move into a spare room. Lack of sleep is horrible, let alone when it could have such serious health consequences.

My DH used to do this. I would then be lying there cross and awake every night and he'd fall asleep as his head hit the pillow.

I tried explaining and asking to no avail.

I eventually found a solution which was to be awake rather loudly and crossly in case he had any bright ideas about DTD. I would toss and turn, put my light on to read a book and get up to go to the loo a couple of times, often 'accidentally' catching my leg on the end of the bed as I walked round..

Once he realised that waking me up wasn't that pleasant for him, he learned not to chuck things on the bed, slam doors, talk loudly at the dogs, etc.

Nowadays he sneaks into the bedroom without even putting the bedside lamp on and I often don't even realise he has come to bed.

Much better for all concerned

I do.

Perhaps separate bedrooms ( if possible) is the answer.

Still wouldn't give up my bed. I saved very hard for my bed.

I like it goldmandra :)

My DH usually comes up much later than me but makes a point of doing so with minimum of fuss.

Occasionally he will pack his suitcase on the bed for the next trip away for work, which does wake me but he only needs reminding once!

Once he's actually asleep is another matter as he's a dreadful snorer & that wakes me up!

I once gave my OH a bloody nose for waking me up

No domestic violence mind, but the daft man knelt by the bed near my knees, and in my sleep, turning over, walloped him in the nose. Managed to wake me up when he started shrieking in pain.

Anyway, he's a lot quieter these days and if he comes home late knows better than to disturb me now...!