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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to say this to DD...

63 replies

Thespiderinthebath · 01/11/2015 19:39

" I love you to infinity and beyond".

As outsiders seem to look at us strangely. I usually sign this to her as well as saying it.

OP posts:

werewolfinladderedtights · 01/11/2015 20:30

Ours was I love you all the moon and stars. Now it's just love you as they walk out the door, they grew up too fast.
I'd ignore them op they sre clearly ignorant and therefore not worth worrying about. It's always good when a child knows they are loved.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 01/11/2015 20:38

As the parent of a deaf child, the notion that signing is "performance parenting" if your child isn't deaf, infuriates me.

If more people learned and used sign language, my children's life would be greatly, hugely enhanced.

And of course, the idea that posters who say bollocks like this are looking at me signing and deeming it "performance parenting" is quite sad really. It's just a completely thoughtless comment at best and ignorant intolerant bollocks at worst.

Op YANBU. We use the hand symbol for I Love
You (like a metalhand's hand ) to each other and then touch it to our hearts.

VestalVirgin · 01/11/2015 20:39

The important thing is that your actions fit your words. People who declare to love someone and then act like they don't are much more annoying than those who show that they love someone but never talk about it.

People likely look funny because it's not a tradition in their family to say things like this to children. (I would look funny too, to be honest)

Still, I see no problem, as long as you're being honest. Just maybe tell your daughter that not all people operate that way and some are a bit more ... let's say, reserved in their affections.

Original poster

Thespiderinthebath · 01/11/2015 20:50

I understand Vestal.

Purple it annoys me too. I'm quite ashamed to admit that I was very reserved to signing to DD in public when she was very young. Simply because people who I didn't know would ask me questions and there was one time I heard a parent saying that I was showing off. .

OP posts:

serin · 01/11/2015 21:01

I can't believe that anyone would think that signing is performance parenting.

Dear God, I have heard it all now.

I taught all 3 of ours to sign so that they could communicate with my childhood friend and her DD. How else would they ever have been able to play together?

Ignore them OP.

Potatoface2 · 01/11/2015 21:08

no its not unreasonable.....its personal to you and your daughter.....keep doing it and dont care about what other people think...ignore them, its none of their business...its lovely x

iMatter · 01/11/2015 21:09

Everyone I know says it. I used to say it every morning as I dropped my DC at school. Now I just say "infinity" as I drop them at school and they pretend they didn't hear.

TheBestNamesAreTaken · 01/11/2015 21:09

spider my DD has similar difficulties - she's 3. I tell her this exact same thing many times a day, and how proud I am, how happy she makes me. She tries so hard to behave nicely, learn new things, and in a world that must seem so bewildering for her sometimes, it seems especially important that she's always assured of my love. Sod everyone else (I've never noticed a reaction, good/bad/indifferent) it makes us happy & nurtures an important bond.

GreatFuckability · 01/11/2015 21:10

If I saw you I would probably look, just because I find signing interesting and its not something you see often. I wouldn't think you were weird though!

celtictoast · 01/11/2015 21:14

YANBU at all.

Other people's comments say so much more about them than you.

whois · 01/11/2015 21:17

I think it's a lovely thing to say OP

nightsky010 · 01/11/2015 21:21

Sod the people who think it's odd. It's great you tell your daughter she is loved, especially as SN children are more likely to suffer from self esteem issues. Ignore them and carry on!

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 01/11/2015 21:28

DS (3) has this cute little thing where he says 'I love you you too'. Not in response to me saying it and he always doubles the 'you'. I've got into the habit of saying it now too.

DD asks me to think of the biggest number I know, then tells me she loves me more than that.

I couldn't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks tbh. My mum and I have a brilliant relationship and hug and kiss whenever we see each other, but we never say 'I love you'. I think it's sad, especially because she's terminally ill. We both know it though.

NewLife4Me · 01/11/2015 21:31

It's not as bad as mine OP.

I love mine tuppence halfpenny, pronounced havpenny

Fuck what others think.
No, I too wouldn't go as far as putting it on fb.

Indole · 01/11/2015 21:34

You can never tell someone you love them too much, life's too short

This this this, a thousand times.

mommy2ash · 01/11/2015 21:36

If they looked at you strangely they would have me committed. Any time either my dd or I say I love you the other responds I love you too and then we race to get out I love you to infinity and beyond and whoever loses says aww you got there first and I don't care if strangers find it weird

RandomMess · 01/11/2015 21:40

I think you should teach us the sign for this

wanderings · 01/11/2015 21:54

I remember once (aged 8) telling my mum off for calling me "fabulous", as I had seen in a dictionary that it was word used to describe things in stories.

A few lines from "Eskimo Day", said by the parents to each other as their teenage son disappears for his interview at Cambridge:
Mum: Are you going to call out "good luck"?
Dad: People might hear.
Mum: It's not their flesh and blood!!

dontcallus · 01/11/2015 21:57

I might have looked but only because i would have been thinking how lovely it was...................I say to DS 'Love you to the moon and back', he is 4 has been known to say loudly in public 'mummy i love you to the toilet and back' He thinks he is funny!

SakuraSakura · 01/11/2015 22:01

YANBU! That's gorgeous. I adore my dd, I tell her lots, and I don't care who hears it. She's my priority.

ladygracie · 01/11/2015 22:08

I've just texted my daughter to say that. It's fab - thank you OP. It's great - ignore others.

Ineedtimeoff · 01/11/2015 22:11

I use to say this to DD. And then the "what does infinity mean?" questions began which were followed by "my friend counted to infinity today at school" and "what's the number after infinity?". We've had countless conversations about what bloody infinity means and yet she persists in telling me about her mate that counted to infinity in school.

I now say "you're my dream come true". She loves that and its a lot bloody easier than explaining what infinity means!

AliceInUnderpants · 01/11/2015 22:13

I tell my DC I love them all the world. I'll tell them whenever and wherever it feels right. They are 10 and 7 and not a single day passes without me telling them I love them.

Senpai · 01/11/2015 22:14

Sick to shit of the term 'performance parenting'.

Yes. This.

If you feel another parent is putting on a show about how great they are, you must be incredibly insecure with your own parenting. Instead of putting others down, work on yourself instead.

PuckyMup · 01/11/2015 22:55

We do "Love you lots like jelly tots" here

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