Should men post on mumsnet ?

[jaffacake2]

Just wondering what other people think about men posting on mumsnet. I have been reading threads which men have contributed to and some are very funny but some are slightly concerning.
The man who wrote about his disastrous OLD was very amusing. It was great to read about awful dates from a male perspective. But there was also a sex thread about whether it was unreasonable to be asked to just show your boobs so your partner can masturbate regularly. The thread was going well until a man joined giving his personal thoughts on needs of men. The thread slowed and I felt that women had been intimidated by his opinions. Maybe not but would welcome a discussion about men being onsite.
Perhaps it should be renamed people net rather than mumsnet

[NameChange30]

"Policing things with mods rarely works. Chasing the fuckwits off threads with pitchforks and barbed comments seems to."
I agree with this in theory, but it doesn't always work in practice. For example, on the thread the OP referred to, some of the posters were defending the arsehole idiot man, and attacking people who attacked him. So it became a bit of a bunfight and it definitely derailed the thread. What do we do in those situations? I think the problem is not having a united front to deal with it. Some posters defended him, others attacked him, others challenged him more politely, and after realising he STILL wasn't listening or going away, I suggested ignoring him, but others kept replying so he kept posting to argue back.

I do know that the answer isn't banning men, but I don't know what it is.

Maybe stricter moderation of the sex threads could help a bit??

[Notimefortossers]

So should I piss off now in your eyes just because I'm no longer 'a parent'

You are still a parent

[Enjolrass]

There are a few female posters who people accuse of having 'sycophants' too, so I really don't see what it has to do with being male.

agree with this

[Funinthesun15]

Thank you for the Notimefortossers

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

I find it quite unpleasant when women say 'when we want your opinion we'll ask for it, your views don't belong here and are irrelevant because of your sex' etc to male posters. If a man posted like that about women on a thread he'd get flamed.

The thing is, the really annoying scenarios with some men who post on here just wouldn't seem to happen with women in male spaces (or even the internet in general), IMO.

I wouldn't expect a man posting that response to get flamed if it were in response to a woman dismissing male experience, making out men were wrong about a specifically male experience and presenting her own interpretation of said specifically male experience as 'the objective truth', and then only accepting the alternative viewpoint (put forward by multiple men) after two men share personal stories and justify it to her. AKA mansplaining, and feeling entitled to be educated on a matter by others and have things proven to her before she will question the likelihood of her being the one with the right end of the stick in face of so many people saying she's not it. There's a good reason it's called mansplaining, IMO. I can't imagine that scenario happening at all, so why bother trying to figure out how the men in question might respond to it?

[ILiveAtTheBeach]

I think men should be allowed. But I think once they say they're male, they often get bullied or ignored.

[SurferJet]

I find it a bit odd that men would want to be on here, but I haven't got a problem with it.

[Seeyounearertime]

It isn't a differing of sexes that causes issue, nor of gender, its a difference of opinion that causes issues.

I don't believe that all men have the same opinion on everything, I don't believe all women share the same opinion on everything.

As a man, and this will sound cringy and dumb, I came here looking for a female perspective on matters in the hopes that I can be a better partner to my OH. Told you it was cringy and dumb. Lol.

[Enjolrass]

It's a parenting website.

Not a female experience one. Not a female parent website.

There is lots posted on here I give my opinion on but haven't experienced. Just having a conversation or a debate.

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

It's a parenting website.

Not a female experience one. Not a female parent website.

There is lots posted on here I give my opinion on but haven't experienced. Just having a conversation or a debate.

If that's in response to my post then that is not what I meant, and perhaps my post doesn't quite make sense without the context of the thread in question.

[trian]

haven't read all the responces but i think it's a good point that anyone who behaves really badly (and I accept that's a hard thing to define, hopefully the mods have some written guidelines), regardless of gender, should be shut down/removed/warned etc as appropriate.
When Mumsnet first got famous, i got the impression that it was a parenting site and i groaned in despair that, once again, the parenting agenda was being assumed to be a generally female-only arena...if this wasn't the case it should have been called Parentnet....or maybe the founders really did intend it just to be for/focused on parents of one gender? Either way, i groaned at the thought of men once again being excluded/discouraged from parenting debates (not to mention intersexed parents).
OP says maybe it should be called Peoplenet - this is a reflection of the fact that MN has become so big that some people post here just for traffic on subjects that they're interested in that don't necessarily have to involve kids.
The internet is an example of the best and worst of humanity, of our ability to organise well, and badly. For example, there's an infertility website that's a godsend to people affected by fertility issues, it really does keep people sane sometimes! It has a great live chat function (which mumsnet doesn't), but you'll often find that there's no one in the chat room when you NEED there to be - wouldn't it be sensible if all the people that are active on the infertility bit of mumsnet were encouraged to join this site, where there are more resources tailored to their needs? Likewise, you get the odd woman on that site that think it's appropriate to rub other people's noses in it when they get pregnant - I always used to steer them towards mumsnet.
As a soon-to-be parent (pregnant), I'd love a site that was about parenting where parents of any gender felt welcome to comment. As a single woman, I'd really appreciate being able to get a male parents perspective on things.
Having men on the site is generally a great thing for me, having priviledged people who have no idea about real life and are overly judgemental is much, much more off-putting for me...thankfully there are enough decent people to outweigh them.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

But I think once they say they're male, they often get bullied or ignored. That sounds like a load of old bollocks to me. There are lots of male posters who people listen to. There are also some manspaining, leg-spreading, 'ladies' patronising knobbers who deserve to be told to fuck off.

90% of the internet seems to be about the male voice and experience. I want to gouge my eyes out at some comments sections.

[velourvoyageur]

It might not officially be a female experience site but I think that's what it's grown into/been from the start and maybe that should be respected. Not respected in that men should keep away but they should hang round and get a feel for the place before posting.

[amarmai]

Some men seem to log on as their other 1/2 . When i check the history , the anti woman attacks are not seen in previous postings and the writing style is different.Not sure how this can be policed unless MN can email the original poster and ask them.

[Shutthatdoor]

Not respected in that men should keep away but they should hang round and get a feel for the place before posting.

Why should that be a 'men' thing.

Over the years I have seen some awful trolling by women

[Nottodaythankyouorever]

Some men seem to log on as their other 1/2

Unless you are MN then this is pure speculation.

[wizzywig]

I dont get why people who dont have kids post on mumsnet. Unless of course theyve had kid(s) who have passed away

[BojackHorseman]

I'm a bloke and I'll continue to post

[BetaVersion]

I have been on MN many years and it is impossible to tell if a poster is a man.

Still funny when posters adress me as a 'laydee'.

[Bubblesinthesummer]

I dont get why people who dont have kids post on mumsnet.

Well let's get rid of the TTC threads aswell then or anything else that doesn't pass the 'parenting' test.

Because there are all sorts of topics on here not just ones about children.

Believe it or not some people actually want to talk about things that don't involve children.

[DotForShort]

Of course they should post if they want to. Why on earth not? I personally have no interest in segregated "women's only" sites. In fact, I think it would be great if MN became more diverse (and not only in terms of gender).

[WorraLiberty]

wizzy have you seen the countless amount of topics that have nothing to do with parenting?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I dont get why people who dont have kids post on mumsnet. At the moment there is a push for a Preppers topic. All about preparing for emergencies. We talk about water, food, first aid, even pooing outside! We don't talk very much about our children. Why would we? A lot of prepping on the internet is weird, gun-nut Conservative men from Florida. Nice to be able to talk to a MN crowd about it. none of them have to be parents...

[specialsubject]

female experience?????

there are forums on here which obviously would cover that. But there's a lot of stuff that (shock horror) is relevant to both men and women. Housing, money, holidays to name just three of my hangouts.

the email address I use for this is just initials so there's no obvious clue to my gender, although my posting history will probably reveal it.

[Pipbin]

I dont get why people who dont have kids post on mumsnet. Unless of course theyve had kid(s) who have passed away

Umm, fuck you, thats why.


I came here for support through my many IVF attempts and subsequent miscarriage. Shall I shuffle off to BarrenOldHag net?

As crazy as it may seem despite not being a mother I actually do talk to other women. There are many topics that I can enjoy and contribute to that do not rely on my having pushed a human out of my vagina - cooking, TV, Radio, Books, Chat, AIBU, INFERTILITY, Property............
I know us childless people are seen as wild haired loons by some. Maybe I'll just head off to the Litter Tray and join the other crazy cat ladies.