So seriously what are my the chances of me finding a life partner at 45 and being happy ever after !

[darlingish]

In a nutshell met ex h at 18 and was married at 19 , had 4 dc and now at 45 I'm single !
Been separated 18 mths and started divorce proceedings.
Was very unhappy for many years and am blessed to be free now .
Met a lovely man in the spring and had my first romance and although I love him to bits and vice versa it cannot last for many reasons .
Wrong time wrong place .
When he leaves which he will early next year we will be friends for life and may well come back together one day but certainly for the next 5 years he will be on the other side of the world .
So ... I have 4 dc, 2 at home still .
I have a a demanding job .
No family support so very busy , ie up at 6 and don't stop until 11 every day as ex rarely sees his dc.
I do know that I need to be happy on my own and not rely on a man to make me happy , so that a future relationship will enhance my life not be the sole making of it iykwim.
Kind of feel like the next ten years is my time to get happy , enjoy life and my dc and do the dating I never did in my youth .
I read on the internet that apparently a woman finding a life partner in her mid forties is more likely to be killed in an accident !
It's made me think OMG .
I know it's ok to be single but after the summer romance I've had with my lovely man friend I would so love to share the rest of my life with the right person ( pref him but hey ho ) .
So what are the odds ?
Is it really that bad out there ?

Take heart from the fact that you met someone this year who you got on with romantically! I know he's going to live overseas - that's rotten luck. But look on it as a sign that it can easily happen. How did you meet your summer fling OP? Can you repeat?

I do totally get the thing with "occasions", especially Christmas etc, but this will be my third on my "own" and actually it doesn't bother me anymore. I have spent so long rebuilding my life and that of my kids, I don't think I really want to share that with anybody. I do also have huge huge trust issues after being so horribly betrayed by my ex-h. I will never be able to trust anybody again after what he did...which might seem a little unfair but I really am not prepared to take the risk sadly.

On a happier note, my Dad remarried about 5 years after my Mum died. He was well into his 60's and my parents had been married for 40 years. My step-mother is lovely and takes great care of my Dad. I think he is very lucky!

It is said that there is somebody out there for everybody...who knows? OP, I know several people who have had huge success with Match, so you've got nothing to lose. It's not for me though, but good luck to you!

I think you have a fair chance of meeting someone.
i know two women, one in her late 40s and one in her early 40s who have been terminally and unhappily single for at least, at least, a decade each.
both despaired of ever meeting a nice guy.
i think the older woman had given up, really.
both are now happily coupled up.
it can happen, but you have to get out there and make it your business to meet someone.

OP, you were also married for a long time, and haven't actually been apart very long, in real terms: also, with a busy life, and the summer romance, perhaps you haven't totally adjusted to being on your own? It's easier to find the right relationship when you are totally happy with yourself first.

I'm 41 and have been single for nine years: I realised that I'm not prepared to settle any more, just to have someone to have romantic holidays or whatever with. Also, I have always loved my own company, and that probably helps. But I don't think there's any harm in hoping - and wishing: just as long as it doesn't turn into forcing something to fit.

(FWIW, I heard a similar statistic on Women's Hour in about 2000 - except it was that a woman over 40 is more likely to be killed in a terrorist attack than marry for the first time. At the time, I lived in a part of the world extremely prone to terrorist attacks, so delighted in repeating it to all and sundry!)

I was single throughout my thirties. Mostly I had a fab life but I'd go through periods of feeling intensely lonely. Then I met a wonderful man at work and married him at 41

You'll need to tell him now he was even less likely than a terrorist attack!

Congratulations