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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To resign over this?

27 replies

prettydamnupset · 30/10/2015 20:10

I've been in my current job for a while. Management is...not great. However, overall I like my job and my manager has told me that they are happy with me. So much so that I had been discussed in the management meeting and they agreed that my hard work meant I should be nominated for a very prestigious award in our field. This is a big deal, it's a once in a lifetime/career sort of thing. Some time has passed and I wondered why I hadn't heard. In short, my manager 'forgot' to actually send the nomination form. :(

My first thought upon hearing this was; "I want out". I am surprised at my strength of feeling. Line manager is known through the organisation for being nice but slap dash and lazy. However, up until now, I've learned to live with it and we've bumbled along. I just feel so gutted that because he forgot, I don't even have a formal letter to say "you were nominated". I didn't expect to make the short list, let alone win but the nomination meant everything for me. My feelings towards the whole organisation has shifted slightly. I don't know whether I'm just feeling Friday fatigue and being over-emotional, hence my post on AIBU.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 30/10/2015 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
prettydamnupset · 30/10/2015 20:18

Yes, in my field, they are crying out for us. The thing is, my job suits my lifestyle, I like my colleagues and my clients and I run the risk of not liking a new job. Is it worth it over a sloppy manager?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 30/10/2015 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatharineClifton · 30/10/2015 20:26

Nope, not worth it. You'll get over this in time and have learnt an important lesson - always double check things have been done.

AlpacaPicnic · 30/10/2015 20:28

It certainly wouldn't hurt to be looking... Remember that even if you get offered a new post you are under no obligation to accept. So you can explore the field, and your feelings while you search.

I know what you mean about a sloppy manager... It can really affect your feelings for your job. Because this time there were no 'real' or major consequences but next time there could be...

DragonsCanHop · 30/10/2015 20:29

No, not worth it. A happy workplace is a good thing and next time you will remember to chase him up!

Clobbered · 30/10/2015 20:29

Is the award an annual thing? Could your manager nominate you next time round?

pinotblush · 30/10/2015 20:32

Sounds like its a great place to work. Having a "sloppy" manager isn't really a reason to go. Can't your manager just nominate you now or is it one off thing?

cardibach · 30/10/2015 20:36

But you know you were nominated...that it didn't get sent is irrelevant if you didn't expect to be shortlisted. I'd make my disappointment known but wouldn't leave a convenient/pleasant job.

SplatterMustard · 30/10/2015 20:40

Would you be cutting your nose of to spite your face? Sorry but it sounds like it a bit. I'd be fuming as well but I wouldn't let it stop me from staying in an otherwise good job that I enjoyed.

Original poster
prettydamnupset · 30/10/2015 20:43

Yes, I think I would be cutting my nose off to spite my face. I am being emotional and silly. Blush I knew it, deep down, but I posted to help me be rational. Thanks, all.

OP posts:
mumofthemonsters808 · 30/10/2015 20:47

No, please just bite your lip and let it go, it's really not worth getting upset about.

SwedishEdith · 30/10/2015 20:49

Get your manager to put in writing that you were nominated for it (even though he forgot) just so that you have that on record somewhere. Don't know if this will matter in your field but might be good to have?

OffMyAyersRocker · 30/10/2015 20:56

I was nominated for something at work before l went off on mat leave. As it hadn't come through as soon as it should have l had to chase it up. I was a bit Blush but luckily l did as the nominator hadn't completed the process fully (much to then his Blush) so it worked out ok.

FinnMcCool · 30/10/2015 20:57

Depends if you feel you are carrying the rest of them.
They are just colleagues at the end of the day.

I'd make enquiries elsewhere and get yourself that nomination. And look back and laugh (eventually) at how you put up with incompetent management.

cromwell44 · 30/10/2015 21:01

Don't let it influence your career decisons, don't let emotions rule what's best for you in the long run. If it's an annual award then keep it on the radar for next year

Yika · 30/10/2015 21:11

I disagree, I think you should seriously consider it, it sounds like there are other things you don't like about the job and this may be the impetus you need. I suspect you won't get over it in the sense that you may never feel the same about your current employer. I'd start looking.

RandomMess · 30/10/2015 21:16

I too would use it as the impetus to look for a position where you will be valued better.

Apply for positions that would be a step up/into something you'd like. You can always negotiate hours etc.

Your manager has a huge influence on your career and happiness and satisfaction I think the little things are going to increasingly grate on you tbh.

Oolva · 30/10/2015 21:22

Id leave over something like this tbh. If I dont get the respect I deserve I'm off to find someone who will. Then again I'm mortgage free and dont really need to work to get by on a decent living standard.

ethelb · 30/10/2015 21:24

I left a job shortly after a fiasco over an entry for a prestigious industry award. Other shit was going on admittedly.
But their sneering threats not to sign it off as it wasn't good enough and they 'weren't going to sign off an entry that wouldn't win' and even tried to get me to enter other colleagues work as my own to improve my chance of winning. It said everything about their attitude towards me. They just didn't like me and I was completely unappreciated.
I submitted my own work, got someone above them to sign it off and left.
I was shortlisted btw.

ethelb · 30/10/2015 21:25

Oh and they refused to pay for my place at the awards ceremony, but took other people who had entered but not been shortlisted. And forgot to tell me.

Fizrim · 30/10/2015 21:25

I would be super-cross about that tbh. Do the rest of the management team know that he didn't do his bit? That would seriously grate on my nerves going forward. Do you have anything in writing from the management team to say that they were going to put you forward? You may not be able to put the same project forward for the award next year so he may have really damaged your chances.

What have you said about this at work so far?

Original poster
prettydamnupset · 30/10/2015 21:38

ethelb That sounds actively spiteful. I am sorry it happened to you. To be fair to my manager, as a person, he's lovely but as a manager, he's useless. A friend and colleague described him as "so laid back, he's practically horizontal". He is a procrastinator.

I'm not sure who else knows as this all happened right at the end of today. I've on leave next week, so I'll plan what I am going to say. I'd like to ask him and see what he says. I want him to know I'm disappointed. I have fortnightly supervision due to the nature of my job and he goes out of his way to offer praise. Yet, the action of completing this form would have made all the difference!

OP posts:
TheClacksAreDown · 30/10/2015 21:58

Well it is a big fuck you, isn't it. Laziness perhaps rather than malice but still. It must really sting to find out you're not worth the effort of sending of a form.

Fizrim · 30/10/2015 22:03

I would be emailing the management team to start the papertrail if it was me. He's not done a task that his senior managers (or at least peers) agreed should be done. Your nomination could have brought the company some acclaim and/or recognition in their industry. It's quite a performance issue IMO (ex HR staff).

He might be blase about letting you down, he might be more concerned if he looks a prat in front of his own managers/peers .