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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to tell OH details of me fainting today?

26 replies

WillCrossThatBridge · 30/10/2015 18:09

I fainted today after a flu shot. Am totally fine now, just one of those things - I have low blood pressure and tend to faint unless sitting or lying down when having blood taken or shots.

Over the summer, I had an incident where I convulsed while passed out (after suffering an accidental blow to the eye) which scared the crap out of OH - he called an ambulance and everything. Have had follow-ups with neurologist and they concluded it was just fainting with convulsing, not a fit or anything like it. OH seems unconvinced despite expert medical opinion so AIBU not to tell him about today's shaking after/while fainting?

OP posts:

DoreenLethal · 30/10/2015 18:11

Er - no. What happens if it happens again and the medical staff need to know when it has happened before?

theycallmemellojello · 30/10/2015 18:23

Of course you don't have to share medical details if you don't want to! It's your call.

JoySzasz · 30/10/2015 18:24

When is a convulsion not a fit?

Original poster

WillCrossThatBridge · 30/10/2015 18:31

Joy - not a doctor here but a fit is when there is certain electrical activity in the brain, the convulsing refers to body twitches.

I had EEGs and CT and all showed normal brain and brain activity so the doctors said I had fainted (syncope) and body convulsed but not a fit.
Does that make sense.

It's not an unusual response so medical staff would not be taken aback if it happens again and I would be there, obviously, if it happened so would take the precaution of asking to sit or lie down for any blood drawing or needle insertion. OH knows that I do tend to faint when I have an injection and has heard all the doctors say that it is not a seizure/fit and nothing to worry about from that point of views.

OP posts:

thegiddylimit · 30/10/2015 18:35

Fainting is a pretty common reaction to the flu vaccine. At work we have to sit in a row outside the nurse's surgery for about 10 minutes after having the injection.

WorraLiberty · 30/10/2015 18:36

If he knows you tend to faint after a jab, I'm not sure if it matters whether you bring it up in conversation or not?

Sirzy · 30/10/2015 18:38

I would mention it to him just in case you have further reaction to it. Unlikely but better that someone knows.

Original poster

WillCrossThatBridge · 30/10/2015 18:45

Thanks - I think I will mention that I fainted but not that I convulsed a bit as that's what freaked him out last time and, despite medical opinions otherwise (and there were medical personnel actually THERE at the time this time), he doesn't seem to be able to be convinced that it really is nothing serious that needs worrying about.

Sirzy - it's not a reaction to the vaccine, as such, but the actual injection so the danger of further reaction is passed. He'll know I got the jab anyway as I will tell him that!

OP posts:

JoySzasz · 30/10/2015 18:47

Thank you for explaining. I'm so sorry. That must have been horrible, even if you aren't surprised it happened..
I'd think l'd tell him. Although, you don't have to,l think it is always better to get honest. It isn't your responsibility to worry about his reaction. I say that as an anxious person (sometimes) myself.

MissDuke · 30/10/2015 18:53

I fainted recently and was out cold for a few minutes and apparently my body was jerking - it happened in a hospital and the nurses around me thought it was a fit, so sent me to A&E - who concluded it was just a simple faint. So I agree op that sometimes a faint can look like a fit.

I would tell dh personally, but if you aren't comfortable with doing so then yanbu for keeping it to yourself!

Original poster

WillCrossThatBridge · 30/10/2015 18:57

Ah, Miss - nice to have someone who has had the same thing! Well, not nice but glad I am not alone in this.

Joy - it's just he gets overprotective in case I have this reaction again so didn't want me going for a run or swimming and stuff whereas I know, and have medical opinion on my side, that is something that happened with an obvious and explicable trigger and not going to happen out of the blue. I am not worried about him worrying, I am worried about him being a pain in the arse for me worrying unnecessarily!!

OP posts:

Toffeelatteplease · 30/10/2015 19:13

With respect you are both doing the other a diservice.

Yes you absolutely should tell him. Convulsion or fit if you don't come round independently within a five minute interval you will need serious medical attention. Bear in mind the whole process of an ambulance arriving can be 20 mins easily from the moment your dp picks up the phone. You want him ready to go at 5 mins, not wondering what the heck is going on.

Give some consideration to travel insurance. If he completes medical screening without the correct information you could invalidate your insurance.

Thats quite aside from the issue that he cannot give a complete medical history if you ever need him to

He is being horrendously over protective, however you are being horrendously blasé. No it shouldn't stop you doing anything, but you should think about sensible precautions. Consider wearing something like a medi alert bracelet. It's a sensible precaution for yourself and reassurance for you OH too.

Wolpertinger · 30/10/2015 19:28

It sounds like you are prone to fainting - which is fine and totally normal. In medical speak this would be called a vasovagal episode but a faint will do. In a deep faint you can make some jerking movements that look like an epileptic seizure but OP has had appropriate investigations by the sound of it and had epilepsy ruled out.

Best course of action if you do it again is for someone to raise your legs up and leave you alone. Often people make it worse by trying to sit the person up which just drains the blood further out of their head prolonging the episode and freaking everybody out even more I spent 5 years of med school fainting on ward rounds so have extensive experience

Personally I think a MedicAlert bracelet is going too far - what would you put on it except 'prone to fainting, not epileptic'. Equally on travel insurance you would just declare you've had investigations that ruled out a more serious condition.

It's your call whether you tell your DH or not and I can see why you might not want to. However he sounds frightened and it is scary seeing someone you love have a deep faint and having advice about what he is supposed to do if you do it again might help him.

carabos · 30/10/2015 21:04

wolpertinger I did exactly that when DH fainted - tried to keep him upright and caused the convulsion. A&E consultant was lovely but she did make it clear that I wasn't to do that again - to him or anyone else . It was horrid and frightening to watch and I have sympathy for the OP's husband.

Original poster

WillCrossThatBridge · 31/10/2015 02:22

wolpertinger thank you so much for that. This is exactly my feeling. Vasovagal response/syncope is exactly what ambulance staff said back in the summer and fits totally with my experience and my medical history. It's also what the neurologist confirmed

OH did get a horrible shock when it happened a few months back and can't seem to accept that his thought- that it was a seizure- was not correct despite medical assessments.

I told him I fainted which he mostly found amusing and then the minute it occurred to him that I might have had a similar episode to the summer, he started freaking again so I have told him there was no question or suggestion that I had a seizure. That it was witnessed by medical staff (true- the nurse who gave the shot and nearby lunching doctors) and nobody was in the least bit concerned once I felt ok.

No issues with travel insurance or anything as no special treatment is needed.

Thanks all for responses!

OP posts:

Toffeelatteplease · 31/10/2015 18:27

I am very sorry to point this out but if you are not declaring this on your insurance you need to be very certain of your position and of what has been written in you records and the conditions on any insurance (including car). Bear in mind sometimes doctors write a slightly different slant on your records.

No special treatment does not mean no need to declare. Anything that affects risk you are best to declare or at the very least check whether you need to declare (taking a note of the date and time of the phone call and person you spoke to). You can invalidate insurance if you have failed to declare something that should have been declared.

There is a category that most insurance companies screen as pseudo seizures. Which means seizure like symptoms that are not necessarily a seizure. I'd be surprised if you shouldn't be screened in this category.

Wolpertinger · 31/10/2015 19:10

A pseudoseizure is medically entirely different to a vasovagal episode. It isn't what the OP has at all.

bigbluebus · 31/10/2015 19:26

My DS suffered one of these fainting episodes at school a couple of years ago (not in repsonse to and injection - just being in a warm room). I got a call from school to say he had fainted and had then shaken all over like he was having a seizure. I was advised to take him straight to the GP. GP saw him within 15 mins of me calling but said that the shaking was not an epilieptic seizure but was just the body's way of trying to get you to breathe deeper and get more oxygen to the brain. The GP was not at all concerned.
DS has fainted once since - which I witnessed. I could tell he was going to go down before it happened but he definitely didn't shake on that occasion.

Toffeelatteplease · 31/10/2015 19:46

As I say check how your insurance company screens things. I would be amazed if it didn't need to be declared. Whatever it ends up declared as.

But overall I'd be concerned about the lack of honesty in the relationship. If you are not comfortable enough to share your medical history with someone I would question whether the are the right person for you

IjustGotmy2016diary · 31/10/2015 20:09

I'm a "fainter" too.... well my heart stops as well when I faint (I like to go that one step further ) and I shake. I still drive and have no restrictions or health insurance issue's.

Original poster

WillCrossThatBridge · 01/11/2015 02:54

Oh does know my medical history but refuses to believe it! Anyway, I did tell him and kind of wish I didn't as he over-reacted as I expected but has calmed down now. We now both know that I should always and absolutely sit down for jabs of any description and not try to tough it out.

I have been cleared to drive and officially declared as no risk and no special whatever by my GP.

Not sure why insurance became such a big deal on this thread as I didn't mention health insurance or any other insurance in my OP

scratches head confusedly

OP posts:

Wolpertinger · 01/11/2015 06:33

I have no idea either. As far as a doctor is concerned your medical history is "faints a bit".

yeOldeTrout · 01/11/2015 08:20

If your DP is going to use the info badly then I can understand keeping it to yourself.

IjustGotmy2016diary · 01/11/2015 21:48

To be blunt, it sounds like your DP has issues of his own surrounding illness. There is nothing wrong with caring and being concerned for your partner - and in fact of course he should! But he shouldn't be putting his own OTT worries and anxieties onto you to shoulder. You know what triggers the faints and how to deal with them. The doctors are fine with it and not concerned, therefore he needs to get to grips with himself.

NCISaddict · 01/11/2015 22:05

I used to faint frequently at the sight of blood, scary films, hot rooms.... you name it and I have fainted in it. Have never had it investigated and have generally grown out of it and have never even considered declaring it on travel insurance.

Ironically I'm now a paramedic, fainting at the sight of blood would be slightly inconvenient.

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