i have 400 fb "friends" i literally have ONE real friend, is this normal, or

[TheBitchOfDestiny]

...is there something wrong with me? there are loads of people i chat to on facebook, aquaintances, friends but none who i meet up with, or who ask me to meet or include me in stuff

i have a "best friend" ...maybe that's tragic at my age (35 ) to have a "bff" type person. but she is the only one i can rely on, the only one that gets me, and the only one who ever asks me to meet up or includes me in stuff...i love her and we are so lucky to have eachother

my other "best friend" is my dh i guess

i am not close to family, i don't get on with my brother, and my mum and me don't really have a proper relationship, never have. i have never made friends at my dc school (ie other mums) i work very part time but i work on my own so no chance of making friends there

i also have a little set of what i would describe as "casual" friends that are a little group of friends together, if that makes sense. they invite me out sometimes, and vice versa. but i am crap socially and tbh i find it a bit of an ordeal ...they like to do stuff like lunches out and with an 18 months old toddler its not ideal when my kid is chucking food and screeching. also, i feel on the outside as that "group" are all parents at the same school and have that in common where as my dc go to a different school. they are really social people that seem to have massive circles and are constantly doing exciting stuff and are massively in demand unlike me

i had 2 other close friends, that i had been mates with since my teens, but i knew them separately. a couple of years ago i introduced the pair of them, they are now "best friends" ...and we have drifted apart since then. i often ask them to meet up but rarely happens.....yet all over facebook they are constantly meeting up and plastering pics etc, it hurts

i am worried it is me, do i have a shit personality or am i not as nice as i think i am, its getting me down

Cantgonofurther That has made me really sad for you

OP I could have written your first post. I too am in my early 30s and have one really close best friend who is the only one who invites me anywhere. She has other friends and a wider circle of people who invite her out and she always invites me along with them. I am happy to go along most of the time but sometimes I feel like I would like to be invited not because of her but because they want ME there. I think I only feel this way though because recently a friend of ours (who I was much closer to than my BF was) dumped us for another friend which hit me hard as I really thought we had a great friendship. She no longer msgs/calls me and I see their nights out on FB aswell which stings. But as long as I have my BF then I won't dwell on it too much.

cantgonofurther I will be your friend! I am serious, you sound lovely, pm me and you can add me on fb if that's not too weird and desperate of me to offer ...your post has just made me really sad

and missmoo that's a bit like how that "popular" group I hang out with sometimes works, I made friends with like, the "leader" of that group and all the others are kind of friends with me by default. (god sound about 14)

and that sucks re your friend ditching you, why are people such twats

(you can add me as well if you want?)

I have one actual friend in RL: the rest are people I work with etc, so "work friends" but not people I could talk to about anything personal. It doesn't bother me because I am not a massive people person. A few more people probably think of me a friend, because I am reliable and always supportive, and they call on me when they need my help.

I'm not on Facebook at all.

It doesn't bother me - but if it bothers you, I'd cull your FB or get rid of it altogether. This is real-life, not a sitcom, and not everyone has a massive circle of close buddies at the end of the day.

I am in my sixties but I can tell you that you still have lots of time to meet friends.

Close friends are hard to come by, so having one is great.

I found my thirties hard that way, because all my old friends had settled down elsewhere with young families and looking after a small child myself didn't help. Then I changed jobs and suddenly found myself in a place where I made several close friends. We just all clicked. That was after years of feeling that I didn't fit in anywhere.

Two of my so-called best friends did the same thing to me, OP, and are always plastering details of their meet ups all over Facebook. Hurtful, nasty behaviour. Yes, I get that they like each other and think the other one is brilliant but no need to be deliberately spiteful and plaster it on the internet.

I'm the same - i dont really have any proper friends, maybe one, a former colleague, but i dont see her very often and i'm always the one who has to invite myself over and go to see her - we do have a good laugh and catch up once i'm there though. She has other friends who she see's more often and is closer to. I've got nigh on 300 fb friends, and i do generally like seeing what everyones up to. i also subscribe to loads of different feeds and would miss that if i didnt have it. there's nowhere else in my life where i could get endless pictures of pugs and kittens I've never really been a best friend kind of person, i cant seem to keep them for long enough, and people arent really interested in me, i suppose i am quite boring really.

I'm the same OP although I only have a few FB friends as I only have friends and family on there. My best friends live in another country so I don't see them much.

Having a busy life working and looking after children makes it really difficult to keep and maintain friendships IRL. I have let friendships drift because I've just been too tired and too frazzled to arrange things or meet up. FB fools us into thinking we belong to this big social circle when really they are mostly passing aquaintances and not true friends.

not everyone has a massive circle of close buddies at the end of the day

see that's interesting cos I think everyone seems to....but praps they don't....

flumplet yeah I am the same, couldn't leave fb because I am in so many groups and I would miss them, more than I would miss actual rl people tbh

cleanaholic aww not you too :( it really sucks doesn't it? its so bloody childish as well