To expect DH to know what to do with a jacket potato

[MrsSparkles]

We're both ill at the moment with colds (me much so more then him), I am also pregnant so can't take anything so feeling pretty miserable.

Really bad yesterday, and tbh haven't fancied eating for a few days now so just put a couple of jacket potatoes in the oven for tea. When he got home, asked what's for dinner, I said potatoes are in the oven, lots of fillings in the fridge. His answer what the fuck am I supposed to do with a Jacket Potato.

How do you get to nearly 40 and have no idea what to do with one, grrrrr

Lots of assumptions there I know

Indeed, and if it turns out he'd been down the bookies all day while the OP had been slogging away at work before coming home & being expected to cook his tea and warm his slippers I'll apologise unreservedly.

But you are also making assumptions......

As it happens I was poorly last week. My DP was out at work. He phoned me from the train home to see what I fancied for tea. I didn't fancy anything so he came home and made his own. Surely that's what adults do isn't it? If he'd expected me to get up to cook for him he'd have got short shrift from me.

That doesn't even factor in the swearing or the general incompetence in the kitchen.

So the only assumptions I'm making are that the op's DP should act like my experience of a partner.

If you've got 2 broken arms maybe.

In our house, whoever is in the house first cooks tea - as I work from home a lot, that's me mostly.

If I was at home because I was sick - it'd be me.

It works very well for us and seems pretty fair.

Your DP would genuinely expect you to drag yourself out of bed to get their tea on the table? Just because they had heroically gone to work, just like a normal adult? Crikey!

I also work from home and the "you're at home all day you can do xyz" also hacks me right off. I'm working.

Yes - I was at home. Half term this week so no school for DD (she did a sterling job of looking after me!). DH was at work.

I didn't mind the cooking, but you know what its like when you feel ill and you can't be bothered to think about anything, that was honestly how I felt. I think I was verging on the flu (was due back at the doctors today if my temp wasn't reducing), its the illest I've felt in a very very long time.

I found some curry in the fridge so problem was solved, but it was that a potato on its own isn't a proper meal.

You just want someone to take care of you when you feel rubbish don't you? But I guess I should be a bit more sympathetic to him.

My DH doesn't agree with jacket potatoes for dinner either, he says they're a 'lunch thing'

Your DP would genuinely expect you to drag yourself out of bed to get their tea on the table? Just because they had heroically gone to work, just like a normal adult? Crikey!

I can honestly say that in 25 years, neither of us has been that ill.

I guess I'm just lucky not to be married to a "drama llama".

I also work from home and the "you're at home all day you can do xyz" also hacks me right off. I'm working.

I don't cook tea when I'm working, I cook it when I finish work (as I don't have to travel home). Given that my working day is nearly 2 hours shorter than my DP's when I'm WFH, I don't think that's unreasonable.

You're hot on the assumptions today BooP.

BTW - OP was off work and her DP was at work..... waits expectantly but fruitlessly

My DH doesn't agree with jacket potatoes for dinner either, he says they're a 'lunch thing'

I suppose it depends what you're doing with them, I tend to use Jackets instead of rice with a chilli for example, so if anything they make the meal more substantial.

A jacket with tuna or beans isn't something I'd class as dinner though as it'd seem "lunchy"...

What assumptions did I make Iknow?

First of all you have assumed that people who are ill are "drama llamas". Nice. Aren't you lucky that you've never been very ill. And incidentally you have no idea what I was ill with last week so you have no idea if I was being dramatic or not. I'm sure lots of people with chronic, long term conditions will be delighted to hear that they are just being dramatic when they are ill

Secondly I just stated how a "you're at home" attitude makes me feel

I still stand by what I said: as the OP said "You just want someone to take care of you when you feel rubbish don't you?" This. In spades. I certainy dont expect to be sworn at and taken for granted by a man who can't even cook his own dinner like a toddler

BTW OP I hope you feel better today

For the first few years of my marriage, my husband would have reacted like that towards a bowl of hearty soup and a sandwich, as MIL always did soup and a main course. He's much better trained more understanding now, but I did have to let him live alone for six months to learn to appreciate that coming home to a loving wife who has prepared something is preferable to coming back to an empty house and making your own.

YANBU, he was rude. Sounds like he thinks you didn't cook enough for him, ignoring the fact that you are ill too and pregnant. He should be more sympathetic to you! How often does he cook for you? I know he works but that doesn't mean he doesn't have to do anything at home, not even being able to cook his own dinner and then swearing at you about it is pathetic.

I cried once when I got home after a long day at work when dh was on annual leave and he'd made stuffed aubergines

I know where I would have told you to stuff the aubergine. No wonder we are such a nation of fatties if so many people don't think a jacket potato & filling (or indeed a stuffed aubergine) constitutes a perfectly healthy and satisfying meal.

We all eat too much and too much meat and it is killing us - embrace the stuffed vegetables & live a longer healthier life.

I think, 'Bend over and I'll show you' might be an appropriate response.

I agree with this.

Neither DP nor I would dream of rolling in and asking 'What's for dinner?' if we knew the other person was ill.

And if he didn't think it was enough, couldn't he just pile on the toppings?

I'm sure lots of people with chronic, long term conditions will be delighted to hear that they are just being dramatic when they are ill

Really? We're digging out chronic long term conditions are we?

I'm going to say that that may be in a different ballgame to a cold doncha fink??

I'll leave you to your assumptions - got to put tea in the Slow Cooker now, so it's less of a faff when DP & the kids gets home from work.... isn't hard

You've deduced that I'm overweight and eat too much because I don't want to eat stuffed aubergines after a (physically and mentally strenuous) day at work? Okaaay.

Iknow I assumed you were referring to me as a drama llama being as you were addressing me in your post. And I do have rather more than a cold you sarky bugger

Iknow, are you trolling? Are you actually taking the piss out of a sick, pregnant woman?

And I do have rather more than a cold

The OP has a cold, not discussing or interested in you. Fanks for sharing though...

Are you actually taking the piss out of a sick, pregnant woman?

No, are you? Where have I taken the piss out of a pregnant woman?

Please enlighten....

What's with all the "finks" and "fanks"? Are you hoping it's making your nasty comments more jovial? Because it's not fanks

Iknow - I presume NotEmpty means me!

So the non-consensus is:

1. Perhaps IWBU to only give him a jacket potato
2. Perhaps IWBU to suggest my illness was worse than his
3. But IWNBU to be a bit cross at his reaction, and perhaps a 'darling is there anything else to go with this' would have been more appropriate!

Clear as mud!

Happily I am feeling much better today so there should be no dinner issues tonight.

And the OP coming back to be perfectly reasonable about it!