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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School Detention

60 replies

Mumof5and3 · 27/10/2015 22:00

DD has started at a new school. I have recently discovered that during detention children stand for fifteen minutes facing the wall. AIBU to consider this to be Abuse.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 27/10/2015 22:32

Not abusive, no. Did you think it was OP?

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 27/10/2015 22:32

Detention should be restorative- writing a letter of apology, for example.

DonkeyOaty · 27/10/2015 22:32

Yes ofc yabu

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2015 22:33

The OP hasn't said her child has been given a detention, just that this is how the new school does it.

ilovesooty · 27/10/2015 22:34

She still hasn't said how she came by this information.

Original poster
Mumof5and3 · 27/10/2015 22:36

No it wasn't a question of why the detention was given and whether it was deserved. I just find wall facing demeaning and was shocked that this was what happened, so wondered if others would have felt the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof5and3 · 27/10/2015 22:45

I was told by my daughter that this is what happens and checked it out with the school.

Restorative justice was used in my daughters previous school. This made sense and was constructive.

OP posts:
Jaxsbum · 27/10/2015 22:46

so what did she do?

HPsauciness · 27/10/2015 22:46

I don't know why primary schools have suddenly relabelled their sanctions as 'detentions', my dd's school has done it too.

Her 'detention' (she had one for talking) was 10 min off playtime. I think they had to sit and do some work in silence.

I would find standing against the wall to be quite old-fashioned and make me think the school wasn't very with it, discipline wise. It wouldn't bother me for my child as she's quite robust, but a more sensitive child who has just got caught out chatting or something could be really distressed.

NotEmptyNow · 27/10/2015 22:54

I'm really surprised by these comments. Why does it matter what she's done? Unless she was being told off for sitting down, and facing inwards too much (??) that's completely irrevelant. Very outdated form of punishment, definitely not accepted practise. I would be questioning this too OP.

Wolfiefan · 27/10/2015 22:57

I agree that a consequence should ideally be constructive and help to avoid future situations.
But in a class of 30, when teachers are desperately trying to get a job done or kids are taking the proverbial I wouldn't consider this abuse.
If my 9 year old got a detention I would want to know why though.

hefzi · 27/10/2015 22:59

When I was at school, this was used to stop people being punished mucking about by pulling faces at other people and disrupting the rest of class. I don't think it's abusive, but in punishment terms, it's useful only in terms of stopping people buggering about because it's boring.

whois · 27/10/2015 23:04

Standing facing the wall is boring and pointless and a waste of time (i.e. exactly what detention is meant to be). NOT abuse FFS.

Original poster
Mumof5and3 · 27/10/2015 23:04

Thanks NotEmptyNow it was a bit of a relief to read your response.

OP posts:
FithColumnist · 27/10/2015 23:15

Detention should be unpleasant. It's a sanction, not an enforced catch-up session. It should not be a matter of doing school work: if you fail to do an exercise and I say that you should do it in detention, then I'm basically saying that the work I've set is a punishment.

I make mine clean off the mini-whiteboards. Frankly, I'm thinking that facing the wall is not a bad idea.

Wolfiefan · 27/10/2015 23:18

If you don't like the behaviour policy of the school (and I agree this is very old fashioned) find a new one.
But it is not abuse.

ilovesooty · 27/10/2015 23:24

It's boring and tedious but to call it abuse seems an exaggeration to me.

d270r0 · 28/10/2015 08:17

Its a punishment. Thats the whole point of a detention. They face the wall so they're less likely to be distracted by the others. Its certainly not abuse in any form, unless you consider all punishment of any kind to be abuse. How to you sanction her at home? Or don't you...

LadyLonely1 · 28/10/2015 08:20

Get a grip, it's far from abuse. How insulting to people who suffer actual abuse.
Don't want to face the wall, don't misbehave!

honeysucklejasmine · 28/10/2015 08:29

I agree about not doing schoolwork in detention. It's a punishment, not a homework club. They need to do the detention and do the work in their own time, like they should have in the first place.

When I set my own, I would give them something tedious to do that was useful to me, usually classroom tidying. Then school switched to mass detention where they write out the code of conduct. Repeatedly if necessary.

Enjolrass · 28/10/2015 08:30

Detention at that age is a bit unusual. But I assume you agree with that point since you chose to send her there.

Is it an after school detention?

Looking at a wall depends, imo, on what the child did and what's happened before.

Writing a letter, apologising or being made to sit and listen to why you have hurt another person doesn't always work. Ime it actually makes the victim feel worse.

It's definitely not abuse. And depends on what's gone on.

maddy68 · 28/10/2015 09:36

At my school we have a detention room, students all face the wall(sitting at desks around it) so they can't make eye contact with each other. They are given work to do while they are in detention

We have a phrase we use in school,month believe everything your child tells you happens in school and we won't believe everything your child tells us happens at home

PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/10/2015 09:42

Op, you still haven't told us anything. What was she being punished for? When was the 'detention'?

GoblinLittleOwl · 28/10/2015 09:42

No it is not abuse; it is a punishment.

When I was at school the detention for being late was to stand 'facing the clock' for the number of minutes we were late.

I have stood longer in a bus queue (aged nine.)

NotEmptyNow · 28/10/2015 09:47

Maddy68 What you're describing sounds like a perfectly normal secondary school withdrawal set-up. Sitting around the outside of the room at desks with other children doing your work is a bit different from a child being forced to stand, facing a wall on their own. What is the point of a punishment like that other than degradation?