To move to another room in our holiday cottage to evade a spider size of a cat

[RomComPhooey]

Only a slight exaggeration, honest. I was doing some noisy music practice in a spare bedroom (detached cottage) and the vibrations seem to stirred the beast.

It is a quaint cottage, 500+ years old, not a level floor or perpendicular wall to be seen. We have been telling DS2 not to worry about spiders, so I feel especially ashamed about my cowardice but it was huge. I am also seeing nooks and crannies everywhere and probably won't sleep tonight, as the room in question is an annex to our bedroom. The bottom of the beam in the pic is about 6" wide.

what if it follows you...?

It just looks like a normal spider.

Grab a glass and some cardboard.

Im not particularly scared of spiders but I did find a flipping HUGE one in my sink the other day, found it hard to deal with too.

UABU You should put all your belongings in the middle of a field and burn the lot of them, in case they are infested. You should then all sleep in the car.

send a cat-sized cat in there to sort him out.
mogs love eatin' bugs.

Time to burn the cottage down.

My parents once came home from holiday 2 days early because the holiday cottage was full of big spiders.

YANBU Don't forget to lay towels along the bottom of the door to stop it getting out. My DH and I once slept downstairs in my parents house because a spider crawled under our bed and we couldn't find it. My dad never let me forget it.

I am usually quite sanguine about giant spiders - lived in the country for years in a spider-infested house. Initially I was with this one - got up to take pics, then went back to my instrument. However, once I started up again, it started to strike out across the wall towards me - at speed! I have no idea where it's gone somewhere out of sight.

Have consulted DH. he says hoover. Leave it running for ten mins after.

Are you in the New Forest? I stayed in a cottage there once at this time of year and I have never seen so many HUGE spiders except in the zoo! They were massive. I live in the countryside but have never seen anything like the New Forest ones.

You should go home and sell the cottage. Or do what staywithme advised.
It's the only rational thing to do (faints)

Have consulted DH. he says hoover. Leave it running for ten mins after.

Now, this ^ is the kind of advice I was hoping for. If we burn the cottage down, I think the rental agency and the real owners will have something to say...

Not New Forest but similar sort of area.

You have to swallow a fly
And then the spider
And then a mouse
And a cat
Followed by a dog

It gets rid of the spider, but perhaps you die?

Use the Hoover but don't turn it on until you have it just hoovering over the spider, then bam! Otherwise if they are fast it can turn messy.

Be stealth like.

I'd move out and sleep in the car tonight. It would be the only logical thing to do.

You have my sympathy. I just took a shower in my spider infested house. Dd nipped in for a wee and said, "look mummy! Mrs Spider!" I turned to see a massive one face height with me. I had to finish my shower saying it's ok she's helping keep the dirty flies away so as not to pass my fear to dd. She ran out anyway roll on winter. You must build a box of lead and sleep in it. Hth.

I will return to city living with noisy late night drunks, dog shit littered pavements and bin bag shredding cats shortly. And all will be right with the world again.

Oh no . I hoped they'd all perished from the cold by now. The fast scuttling ones are the worse.

*worst

The bottom of that beam is about 6" wide?

So the spider is a comfortable 2.5"?

Still, glass and card. Then trek across about a mile worth of fields/woods and release it.

Didn't someone on here say releasing them in the cold kills them?
Judging by the one less spider, two discarded legs and satisfied looking big fat fuzzy spider in the shower, she's eating the rest!

Well, we survived the night though it took me a lot longer to get to sleep. The towel along the bottom of the annexe door was very reassuring - thanks to whoever suggested it. Now DH and I need to decide whether to decamp to another room for music practice.

I think call the police. Or burn down the house. They are the only options.