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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really hate the idea of trick or treating and wonder why the fuck it's become a 'thing'?

389 replies

Excitedtoday · 26/10/2015 11:40

I find trick or treating really quite anti-social. Why is it acceptable to be rocking up at someone's house on a dark evening basically begging for food? You don't know who lives there or what the effect of you knocking might be. For example, an elderly or disabled person who can't get to the door easily or someone who, for whatever reason, feels vulnerable in their own home.

Perhaps it's just because an anti-social cowbag and I hate people knocking on my door that I'm not expecting, especially at night.

And I also wonder how recently this has become a 'thing' that loads and loads of people do? When I was younger, I'm 25, no-one went trick or treating but over the last few years I've noticed my friends who are parents and family doing it as a matter of routine and I just wonder when that happened?

Is this just me being an anti-social bastard?

BTW, no children and never answer my door after dark whether its Halloween or not.

OP posts:
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Dumbledoresgirl · 26/10/2015 15:13

Well I'm an old cow bag 50 and happy to join OP on the miserable bench.

T&T certainly never happened in my part of the country in my youth, although we did all enjoy Guy Fawkes Night and Penny for the Guy.

I have children, and have never let them go T&Ting and I do feel a bit guilty about that as I can see they might have missed out on some fun, but they all hate sweets anyway and have never been into ghosties and ghoulies so .

I actually don't care any more that it has become a 'thing' as I can see it is a fun activity for many kids - especially the little ones who go T&Ting with their parents and who do not engage in anti-social behaviour eg egging someone's property - but I still hate the huge, and increasing by the year, it seems - commercialism that goes with the whole thing.

throwingpebbles · 26/10/2015 15:25

I don't mind it when it is little polite gangs of dressed up children going to houses decorated to invite people to the door

I do mind the menacing teenagers that use it as an excuse to do petty damage. We lived in one of the biggest houses in the village as a child, but went to the local school (we weren't rich and had little disposable cash). My brothers behaviour (he is probably ASD with hindsight) singled him out for name calling/ bullying and on Halloween this was directed at our house which meant the inevitable waking up to eggs all over the cars /Windows. It's just nasty bullying but I am not sure that means we should tar all "trick or treaters" with the same brush

I wouldn't let my own kids go out I don't think, as it was not what I did as a child (we had a Halloween party at home instead)

usual · 26/10/2015 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lauren15 · 26/10/2015 15:40

I don't know about in England but growing up in Scotland it was a huge thing and was called 'guising'. Now I have kids I think it's lovely to take them around the neighbourhood and see the different decorations and to see little kid's faces when you give them sweets. The only thing that annoys me are people who are happy to take their children round trick or treating but hide behind the curtains when kids knock at their door!

throwingpebbles · 26/10/2015 15:41

Oh so we aren't allowed to post unless we check it hasn't been posted about before usual ? Halloween Hmm . That would be large swathes of mumsnet deleted on that basis. No one goes onto a pregnancy thread or similar and posts these kind of digs.

Anyway, I made it clear i was distinguishing between the teenagers using it as an excuse to be nasty and the children that do it nicely

It is utterly awful waking up every year to find your house has been egges.

Sparklingbrook · 26/10/2015 15:46

Moaning about Trick or Treating has always been posted about before. About 12 months before generally. Grin
It's like MN tradition,

Wait a couple of weeks and we can have moaning about fireworks. Smile

LagunaBubbles · 26/10/2015 15:49

The following year I was in bed, after spinal surgery, and the cunts threw lit fireworks at my front door and open bedroom window. But it's all harmless fun, hey?

Oh for goodness sake no-one is saying that! Whilst your experience sounds awful, the vast majority of children will not be going round participating in anti-social behaviour if they dont get a "treat". Trick or treating is "harmless fun". Throwing a lit firework is not, what did the Police say when you reported it?

LurkingHusband · 26/10/2015 16:01

I'm late 40s, and can distinctly recall Trick or Treating being featured as a "aren't Americans the funniest" on Blue Peter, in the mid-to-late 1970s.

I don't recall it before and it's been on the increase since.

Simultaneously, the last time I saw a "Penny for the guy" was on "Sherlock" S3E1 - they've gone the way of the horse-drawn milkman ....

Oh, born/bred Londoner btw.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 26/10/2015 16:30

Is there any room on that miserable bench? I need to sit on it.

I hate T&T with a passion. I've never done it and neither have my kids. I see no enjoyment of walking around in the cold and dark simply to get sweets when I can just buy a shitload of them from Poundland and they can eat them in the warmth.

We're all different and if that's what others like to do, fair play to them. Just don't come knocking on my door. We don't have any Halloween decorations and wish to be left in peace.

Katedotness1963 · 26/10/2015 16:41

I'm 52, from the far north of Scotland and we went guising.

Frankly, anyone calling kids cunts deserves shite through their letter box...

keely79 · 26/10/2015 16:43

As long as you only go to houses which have decorations up and therefore are happy (and expecting) to have trick or treaters, where's the harm.

Now, don't get me started on the older kids who just rock up and demand treats without even bothering with an attempt at a costume.....

aquashiv · 26/10/2015 16:46

Why does anything become a thing usually because people think it is something they want to do.
Trick or treating consisted of being bombed with eggs when I was a child so I guess things have moved on. I don't really understand it though who decides if you want a trick or treat - no one asks for a trick surely?

shutupanddance · 26/10/2015 16:51

Its massive on our estate. Dcs and adults love it. If people don't want to take part, don't decorate or put a note up. Simples.

PunkrockerGirl · 26/10/2015 16:58

It didn't really take off round here until my dc were too old to take part. I'm glad in a way, I can remember my dad's elderly neighbour being absolutely terrified by it and I suppose that's always made me a bit Hmm about it. She certainly didn't do anything to encourage it and is wasn't kids/teenagers from her street that she knew.

steff13 · 26/10/2015 17:02

Here, you don't knock at houses that don't have their porch lights on. That's the rule, and it really just doesn't happen. If you have an issue with people knocking when you don't want them to, why not put a sign on the door? You shouldn't HAVE to do that, but it's not really that big of an inconvenience.

As far as not wanting your kids to bother strangers, if they've put out decorations to signal they're participating, then clearly they're open to having strange kids knock. It's not really an imposition on them if they want to participate.

Cockbollocks · 26/10/2015 17:48

Then YANBU to be pissed off at all.

Its a shame some spoil it for others, on my estate loads of kids go out trick or treating, they only visit houses with pumpkins or decs. No one gets tricked and generally my door doesn't go after 8.30pm.

Its actually really nice seeing all the kids dressed up and the pumpkins carved on peoples drives.

Sorry its not like that for everyone Sad

Cockbollocks · 26/10/2015 17:50

Actually before I had school age kids I used to buy sweets every year and was always gutted no one knocked not pleased that all the sweets were left for me I didn't know about the no decoration rule!!!

HPsauciness · 26/10/2015 17:51

We also follow the decorations/pumpkin rules and always have an ace time!

nokidshere · 26/10/2015 18:22

My children have never done it because they didn't want to but we are happy to take part for the evening. Most of the children who knock are little and have adults with them. But the small amount of older children are always polite.

yankeecandle4 · 26/10/2015 18:23

I'm very surprised so many went Trick or Treating as far back as 30 years ago. I thought that was an American thing that has made its way over here.

We used to go Halloween rhyming. Sheet over the head, £1 mask and a biscuit tin lid for the pennies.

No one around here goes Trick or treating; lots of private parties though. Decorations have been up since the beginning of October

Senpai · 26/10/2015 18:46
Biscuit
73dexter · 26/10/2015 18:49

I'm very surprised so many went Trick or Treating as far back as 30 years ago.

It wasn't the middle ages you know Halloween Grin!!

florascotianew · 26/10/2015 18:53

Halloween is a pre-Christian, Celtic festival, over 2000 years old. Celebrates Samhain, the end of summer and the day when the gate between this world and the otherworld/land of the dead (according to Celtic superstitions) creaks open/can be passed through - in both directions. It's changed over the years of course - and in some recent lamentable instances been taken over by anti-social/hooligan elements. and it's been commercialised.

But here's a brief account of its origins and of the meaning of some of the customs - eg turnip lantern = human skull, originally carried on a pole.
[http://www.rampantscotland.com/know/blknow_halloween.htm]]

However old the customs, no excuse for violent/bullying behaviour, however.

Moodyblue1 · 26/10/2015 19:10

I used to go guising as a kid I loved it. We only really went to people we knew or of their house was decorated. I've never been out with my DS though as nothing would get him dressing up he just hates it. I don't particularly like people at my door all night but it's just kids having fun who have gone to a a lot of effort so I do my best not to be miserable about it, although I'm currently overdue with my baby so it's likely to be days old come Saturday, I'm dreading my door going all night this year.

Fairylea · 26/10/2015 19:21

I'm another one that hates it. I put a sign up saying I have a sleeping baby and please don't knock - even though my youngest baby is nearly 4 now! I just think it's a bit rude to be honest, although I think it's fair enough I guess if people only go to the houses obviously celebrating it. I wouldn't dream of my kids going up to someone in the street asking for sweets so why it is any different when it's dark and they're dressed up!?

To be honest I'm really surprised how much the whole Halloween thing has completely taken off the last few years. It's immense now. My two are nearly 13 and nearly 4 and we do pumpkins and let them dress up but we take them on a spooky walk in the woods with a torch :)