To think BPD isn't an excuse for being a bitch

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Very recently been diagnosed after a couple of very not good years, and some problems going back much further. For me personally (of course it's different for everyone) I found it upsetting to hear, but also something of a relief to have a diagnosis.

I try very hard in my relationships with people and am empathetic and sympathetic, especially to any immediate problems. A thread I read on MN described someone behaving awfully, but then qualified it with 'she does have BPD, she's not just a total bitch'.

I found this hard to read as I don't feel BPD means someone is 'a bitch', nor is it a license for me to behave badly and think I have an excuse. I try very hard to understand people and am really upset to think that if I get it wrong I'd be dismissed as 'oh she has BPD, what do you expect'.

Im not here to criticise the person who made that post. But I've told some friends and close family who are aware I've been unwell. AIBU to think its a good idea not to tell anyone else?

Nice article. Rinoachicken

Hi there I've done lots of online question airs and I always get same results, that I have bpd and moderate to severe dyslexia! How do I get help and a diagnosis from my go! I feel am crazy have barely any friends! Even though I try so hard with friends as soon as I have a problem or am feeling very low they run a mile! This makes me so mad and eats away at me! So I will tell someone how am feeling call the person who making me feel so heart! Than I look the bitch! I've been treated like shit buy friends all my life as am soft I never speak out! My cousin hurt me so much the other night when we spoke of a text id sent her saying how her and my other cousin are obsessed with are other cousins! She told me yes I thought there is Nat slagging people of behind there back as always! Yet it is not me at all I only do so when someone has or is hurting me! I think she has this idea because one of are cousin who is and always has been very sly and devious) she would go between us saying each one had been slagging the other one of! Because she was gel and wanted us to fall out mainly me as I didn't live local or whatever her reason! Makes me so mad this is how she sees me! Told me why I have no friends! The reason for loosing my friends is because I have been so I'll over the years with depression! My life hasn't been happy for a very long time! I've had boy after boy, moved around a lot in a difficult relationship! Have nothing to look forward too! I try so hard to keep in touch my friends but over the years they have sacked me off! I over think things and am very imostional person take everything to heart. I hate myself and my life! I look and envy other people lives wish I was them! Can become obsessed over it! I feel am crazy have day's I could end it all torment myself! Am weird I have a big heart just want to be loved and understand! If I find I nice friend I can fall in love want to be around them all time! Than if I get hurt I run and hate them! I get so rock bottom up and down all the time my crazy brain never shuts down. I get so upset for my beautiful boys who I love with all that I am! They pick up how mentally ill I am. I can cry screem in front of them if things go wrong! I thought I would kill myself and unborn son because I was so grief stricken to have my forth son! Now see why I have limited friends! People loved me or love the happy up Nat, if am ill having problems or bad time! See them run! I wish I was normal I really do! I need get my therapy back on track! GPs don't care just put you on antidepressants. I've never told them every thing as my friend said they will take my children away!

THIS IS A NINE MONTH OLD ZOMBIE THREAD!!! FFS!

Also am like an open book tell everyone everything maybe this doesn't help! People think she's weird and run! I have a big heart am so emotional love everyone but when they hurt me I hate them! Yet sly crafty people have all the friends look like there so lovely! Yet if your open and honest gets you know we're! Problem is I say everything in front my children have no secrets they here too much! Have seen me and there dad fighting a lot orguing not physical! He blames everything on me not the fact he doesn't do anything help! Or take us holidays day trips etc! Also am very impulsive am addicted to online shopping and if have few drinks go wild sometimes even without! Am just nuts I want to be happy for my children I've got no ambition or career been a stay at home mum for 15 years. Am obsessed with wanting a baby girl this can take over my life am not living just exsisting. This breaks my heart as I feel for my poor boys! My partner is an odd character he's up and down his moods! He's type 1 diabetic and gets very abusive to us! He isn't a good day or partner does the bare minimum for us! This doesn't help me feel happy or loved. Everything is what I can do for him does nothing nice for me! Am feeling rock bottom life is passing me but I want to get married have a baby girl before it's too late! He doesn't seem arsed. If I move on I will never get them! I want to run away and hide as my head is done in but I've nowhere to go nobody to turn too!

I'm sorry you have problems. Perhaps start a separate thread of your own - AIBU isn't the best place to get help and support!

Did you find this via Google?

You won't find the answers you need by posting on out of date threads on this section of Mumsnet.

Talk to your GP. Best wishes xx

Also suffered bullying at home and school grew up in a disfunstional family! Name calling violence and happy and loving at the same time! I still can get bullied now buy my eldest boys partner brothers! My mum says very nasty stuff if she upset me as so my brothers and family! Am quite child like not mature at all why people feel free bully and hurt me! Am not good with words suffer terrible anxiety! Don't know how to articulate and stick up for myself! Am so clingy so needy! Feel so alone so unhappy with myself my life! Hate everything about myself not many days when I ever like myself! Am always wanting to be someone else always have felt like this! I love my children but am a shit mum am so disorganised so scatty don't know how to handle any situation so I just shout scream and swear! Swearing gets out my frustration and anger I can't control myself! Wish I could get some help sick of coping alone! I've been like this since childhood the bullying at home made growing up hell! My eldest brother hated me! Yet he loved are girl cousins! Always told me I was fat and ugly! I have 0 confidence only time if I drink! Kids at school always boys called me spastic dumb specky no boys ever fancied me at school! I carry everything I've experienced around with me!

Are you reading any of the replies?

It's much better to start your own thread natalie. People will be put off answering because you've reanimated a zombie.

Thank you for the information! How do I start a thread of my own on here?

Yes I did find it via Google! Didn't notice was an old thread! Also haven't a clue how to start I new one!