Dsis wants my friends

[LizzyDrippinggg]

Dsis and I flatshare. She has friends but not nearby. I actively make plans with my friends at the weekend, mainly those who I don't see that often, and either I'll go to them or they'll come to me. 80 percent of time dsis comes too and seems to see many of my friends as hers too (close in age, similar thing happened when we were teenagers). Anyone got tips on how to manage this? I wish occasionally she could organise activities with acquaintances/friends either just for herself or to invite me along to... Sometimes gets a but suffocating that I don't get much alone time with my friends

No imperial, they don't text or communicate really otherwise. They are mainly university, school and old work friends. We went to different universities and different schools, and have worked in different places so their paths wouldn't have otherwise crossed. The thing is that I feel like I work hard at my friendships and now every time she meets these people she refers to them as her friends too. I think dh truly sees it as if my friends are her friends too but her friends are her friends...

Sorry dh = she!!!

So eg we met an old friend of mine the other day and dsis was saying oh next time we should all do such and such, so I think she truly sees us as a three after a couple of meet ups

Well, maybe say jokingly to her, 'Oy, sis, they're my friends! You make plans to see yours' ànd if she's acting like this a lot, don't invite her out with you for a while, so she's forced to make an effort herself rather than rely on you to sort her social life!

I would defo chat to one of your more honest close friends about if they mind your sister coming along all the time... They might be starting and "AIBU to want my friend to stop bringing her sister who I don't really know to our dinner dates"

Thanks whois yeah I don't do it all the time but am obviously wary about them getting annoyed about it. Thing is that my sis would get offended I think if I told her about how I felt. She honestly sees my friends as her too. I think she's finding it hard to stay in touch with her old friends so it's convenient for her to make mine hers ikywim?

Part of it is your fault for inviting her!

I think it has gone too far now and you are going to have to have a sensitive chat about it.

And stop inviting her!

Yeah I know seacabbage, absolutely it is

I think you'd be better off not sharing a flat. It's really difficult to exclude her from your meetings especially if she doesn't have anywhere to go herself. But don't keep asking her or she'll keep expecting to be invited to everything.

I've been there with my dsis. I just stopped asking her along every time,.
I realised that it was changing my relationships with my friends as she's quite needy, controlling and critical of me.

I couldn't be myself with her there and it was a bit of a turning point when I stopped asking her as my friends were pleased not to have to see her.