To think this mother was being ridiculous

[wellliesandleaves]

I was walking back to my car at my local shopping centre earlier this afternoon. A toddler suddenly ran behind a reversing car and a couple of us had to make frantic gestures at the driver to stop, which she did, just in the nick of time.
The mother of the toddler started having a go at the driver saying she had deliberately kept going even though she had seen the child. Driver protested that the child had come from nowhere and the mother said something like 'she let go of my hand, there was nothing I could do, you should have been driving more carefully'.

AIBU to think that the mum should have been keeping a tight grip on her child and was totally unfair to blame the driver? We did stick up for the driver but the mother wasn't a bit interested and just kept going on that people in car parks need to be more careful. I was a bit shocked at her attitude to be honest.

When my toddler did unexpectedly this in a car park I apologised profusely to the car driver for giving them such a horrible scare (despite being tearful and shaken up myself).

You can't be expected to see a tiny running toddler behind your car - you expect them to be right next to an easily visible adult surely?!

Once I was walking a very calm, soft as a brush dog at the local park when a child got out of the gated play area and started to wander off. When the mother noticed she instantly snapped irritably at me to keep an eye on my dog even though I was and the dog didn't pose a danger to the child. She was displacing her anger because she was annoyed at herself for not keeping an eye on the child and letting them wander into potential danger. It will be the same here. She was BU but probably because she was upset.

Parents are fucking idiots sometimes.

We were driving round a car park, as you do, looking for a space, so we were driving slowly.
Anyway, there was a man walking with a buggy down the middle of the car bit - not to one side, or in a pedestrian bit. No, basically walking in the middle of the road with a baby in a buggy. No reason too, clearly just a twat going about his business.

So anyway, we drive up to him and stop, waiting for him to move out of the way, but he sees is and then starts shouting at us and waving his arms.

"OI!! I've got a BABY here!!! You should be more fucking careful! "

I mostly reverse into spaces and I ALWAYS make my DC walk by my side. They even know that the drivers can't see small children.

This mother won't be letting her child loose again that's for sure.

I feel sorry for both the child's mum and the driver.
The child rsn off. It happens. . It must have been s terrible shock for all involved the mum, the car driver and indeed the child.
I think the correct is panic striken and unable to think straight is s more appropriate analysis. Not ridiculous.

Thank goodness nothing happened.
There is no blame. Not to the mother and most certainly not to the driver.
Heaven forbid. Had the worse happened and I was s judge. My verdict would have been Accidental.

I think it is one thing having a go in shock but to say the driver kept going makes the mother seem like an arse. I feel bad for the mother driver and child though. I just think she is a bit of a twat.

If the mother can't keep hold of the child, then she should use reins. Poor driver!

My then 18 mo dd raced away from me with no warning while I was on my knees putting her reins on. I was left kneeling watching her race out into the path of a car.

I will never forget it and thinking "this is it. It's happened to me"

I am not ever sure the driver saw her.

When I grabbed her i had no idea what to do with her. She was still squealing and laughing and, of course, had no concept what had just happened. I carried her and the shopping home and cried the whole way.

There is no part of my frequent revisiting of the story makes me feel any anger towards the driver. I have never asked myself if he was going too fast or why did he not see her.

I do understand a momentary reaction of anger to a degree but it wouldn't be my first response

Mum should have held onto DC, however I do feel for the Mother and am sure it was panic on her part which made her react the way she did. I have been in a similar situation and is is terrifying. When DD was 3 we had just parked up in an underground car park. I was putting my keys in my handbag whilst holding onto her reigns. I was looking down at my bag and the car next to us started to reverse really quickly. I literally had to yank my DD back to stop her being run over and we both fell backwards. She started screaming as she was obviously terrified, but the driver just got out of his car, stood over us and started yelling at us that we could have damaged his car! Luckily the security guard had seen the whole thing, and refused to raise the exit bar until the police arrived. It was very scary indeed. So I don't think Mum reacted brilliantly, but I don't think she was BU either. x

A car park is basically a weird kind of road where things come from unexpected directions. If your child is walking on an actual road, then unless they are old enough to look after themselves (maybe 10+ years old, I know my 9 year old isn't ready) you should be holding their hand no matter how much that annoys them. No toddler, no matter how sensible, should be walking on a road without an adult holding their hand.

People behave like dicks in car parks. It's like they forget cars are manoeuvring in them. They regularly walk straight in the path of reversing cars.

I once actually had a bit of a Barney with someone who pushed their buggy straight between cars into the path of me reversing without looking, then shouted at me. Cars have reverse lights ffs. I was horrified I might have hit the child in the pushchair!

The mum in the op was probably scared, but I teach my kids to be more alert than if they were crossing a road; watch for lights and cues that the car might move etc.

Drivers act like dicks too in car parks. Zebra crossings still apply, people!

Surely the natural reaction is to be incredibly grateful that her child is safe, rather than trying to shift blame.

It goes both ways. Whenever I back out, I make sure all small children are accounted for before reversing.

That said I have accidentally almost clipped one because he darted behind my car, and I wouldn't have known unless the mother smacked my hood in the knick of time. I felt terrible even though it wasn't my fault and I didn't hit him. The mother didn't blame me either, she apologized.

DD gets put in her seat and strapped in before any groceries are unloaded into the car. There's none of this trying to hold her hand and juggle groceries at the same time hubris going on.

I once saw a mother cycling along and her (I guess) 8 year old son was cycling in front of her. He hit the curb badly and came off his bike. The mum nearly ran him over. She yelled at him "What the hell are you doing?" As he was lying on the ground. Poor kid. I know the mum just got a fright and wasn't thinking though. Perhaps it was like that? I always encourage my kids to walk along the nose end of cars in car parks when possible.

I agree this is a case where reins are needed. Ds who is much older but has sn is always in his sn buggy or reins in car parks. I feel uncomfortable when I see loose toddllers, sometimes walking behind and so out of sight of their parent.

The natural reaction isn't always bring grateful.

When I worked at a supermarket and we had list children, the patents reactions varied from anger (don't you ever do that again!) to utter relief, to tears, to gratitude and once, we even got the blame! (We should have called them sooner etc)

People react differently, but they're all just relieved nothing bad had happened :(

:) *

Sounds like she was in shock. And reverse parking is safer.

She should have been holding her child's hand tightly. In a fucking car park of all places, she's letting her kids run about???.

Abaid2. Ime people often park forwards in supermarkets to make loading the shopping easier. I agree reversing in is generally preferable though

Why don't more people reverse into supermarket car parks?

Probably because they want to load their shopping in to the boot when they are done!

Reversing in doesn't negate all the risk though.

When reversing in I have had people walking across and walking through the other way when in bay parked ones, so they walk directly into the back of the space as I am halfway to pulling in.

It is the best thing to do, because it is all the driver can do with tiny children that cannot be seen.

The same as all parents can do is hold on tightly.

If one or the other does not do this, by accident or inattention, then most accidents happen.

Would parking sensors pick up on a tiny one where they cannot be seen?

That would be a good thing for most cars to have if they did.

Even less risk.

A point I made in my original post, Mama.

Or because of needing to load up the boot?