To think 'incompatible with life' is unacceptable

[TheDisillusionedAnarchist]

Another day, another thread on here about screening. Another person describing certain disabilities as 'incompatible with life'.

Surely this term is disablist and unacceptable and needs to go. Really is it okay to describe people as 'incompatible with life' . What does it even mean?

Babies with conditions like trisomy 13 or 18 or anencephaly are very much alive, even if they do not survive to birth , they matter to the people who care about them. Their parents and family and some do survive sometimes for 20 and 30 years. Yes they have severe disabilities, yes they require support to live but they are alive.

Today my daughter with trisomy 18 celebrates her first month birthday. Aibu to hope that today might be the last time I read 'incompatible with life' to describe her on here.

Oh and as for medical terms causing upset I found what happened to me and my little girl being labelled 'termination of pregnancy' in my notes the most distressing factor. Far more than labelling the condition she had as 'incompatible with life'

Oh.My.God!

She's adorable! Is that a little smile? I think it is!

She's breathtaking Anarchist, absolutely breathtaking

I just wanted to say that. Give her a kiss from me x

It isn't disablist.
It's a medical term.
Congratulations on your dd.

I'd be interested to know why Bertrand does not think this conversation can be had on this thread.

Holy shit talkingpeece!

She asked about the term 'incompatible with life' and the implications for care. She did not ask you for a judgement!

I have been in disillusioned position and chose a very different route. She has never once judged me or passed comment on my choice.

Be respectful of her choice, it might not be the one you would make but it is what she feels is right for her family.

I have never been rude to another poster on here but there is a huge part if me that wants to say fuck right off!

I don't think you're the only one kitty!

TalkinPeece i have a child with a chromosome disorder hes disabled but has no health or mobility issues the ops child deserves all the help the medics can offer for what its worth my son will probably never be indepent or have his own family but it doesnt mean his life is worth less than others ! Op your baby is beautiful.

that is one of the worst posts I have ever read on MN

Please ignore TalkinPeece OP.

That is a horrible thing to write and very judgemental.

I have reported the post because I believe it is callous, but I am unsure if it will be- I do not know if it breeches guidelines.

TalkinPeece can I suggest you ask for that post to be deleted?

LoveandHate - I presume you no longer need me to answer your question?

Talkinpeece, that is an awful lot of shit you are coming out with there.

I have no qualms at all in telling you that you need to fuck off and keep those opinions to yourself.

That post is awful. How can anyone try to judge the validity of someone else's life like that.

It's also untrue as well as being callous, so ignore it OP

Your DD is just beautiful. I totally understand what you are saying. People say terms like this are just medical terminology and therefore judgement free and not disabilst, but this isn't always true. Language evolves.

As an example, my MIL referred to my DD as a "deaf mute". She couldn't understand why this upset me, in her eyes DD was deaf and she was mute.

I think parents' and patients' views on what language they would like to be used are very important. Every person is an individual, even if they share a common condition/syndrome/disease (whatever you want to call it) their views on how they want to be referred to, should be listened to and valued.

I totally understand what you mean, and I think it's important.

fucking hell Talkinpeace -

Dont delete it MNHQ - because the OP will wonder what the fuck she wrote but just let her ignorance and stupidity shine through!

It should be deleted. It's an entirely legitimate point of view shared by many. It'sentirely the wrong place to express it.

Disillusioned your daughter is lovely - I hope things go well for you.

Is that talkinpeace - the name is slightly different and I'd hate it if someone posted something like that on this thread with such a similar name to mine?

MNHQ : entirely your call

I stand by what I posted in an entirely non personal AIBU open for discussion way

I remember Laura Palmer and the legal changes that came after her devastating case

I suspect that OP gets the nuances of the situation rather better than the hangers on.
If she requests that my post is removed or that I am blocked from the thread, I have no complaint

how big of you Talkinpeace

You posted a judgement in a thread that was not asking that question and to post it when it potentially will cause major upset is probably the lowest thing i have ever seen on here,and ive seen some cunts in my years on here.

What a pile of shite from talkinpeece (isn't she the UKIP poster? If so explains a lot).

:looks across at 16 year old severely disabled son who will never live independently but nonetheless seems to enjoy life:

It's not none personal though is it? I'm amazed you could even type that.

I am also of the opinion it should be allowed to stand so op doesn't imagine anything worse if she misses it, and also I think posters who post stuff like that should have it there in black and white and own it.

I don't think this thread should be derailed by one post as that gives it even more weight and seems even more unfair to op in a way.