To be cross I've been cancelled on

[Squiff85]

I had planned to see a friend (who I hardly ever see) in a few weeks. Was looking forward to it, nice to see her, good company etc.

Anyway earlier in the week she cancelled on me, saying she wants to do something to treat another friend & it can only be done the day we were meeting up.

I've expressed slight annoyance with her, but inside I am really disappointed. Am I right thinking this behaviour is quite rude? She does have history of being socially unaware!!

Judging by a thread the other day when the OP cancelled friend B in favour of friend A for near identical reasons, YABU according to a lot of those posters. (Can't clicky link off my phone).

I think YANBU. I would be miffed and think a little less of this friend.

Sounds like your friend doesn't think much of you tbh

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2487025-To-cancel-one-friend-in-favour-of-another?trending=1

Here is that other thread.

I think if she tried to arrange another time to meet up I would find it acceptable. But it would upset me if it was just a cancellation

You could tell her that you feel let down by her cancelling your plans and that you feel hurt it's in favour of someone else's company. Then I'd be very wary about putting myself out for her in the future.

This is exactly the sort of thing that annoys me. Plans that have been made well in advance get priority.

It's crappy.

She's given you plenty of notice. It's not llike she just failed to turn up.

YANBU, it's shitty behaviour.

No, that's not on at all. The only acceptable way would be to ask if you all met up together, not just to bin you off to 'treat' someone else.

don't say anything. the damage is done. if she does meet up with you now it'll be on sufferance. you'll know she'd rather be seeing this other friend. i just wouldn't contact her again. let her do the running if she really wants to see you.

YANBU

Yabu - she's given you lots of notice, it's not like you have been left hanging around at the 11th hour.

YANBU to be miffed.

Particularly as she told you she was doing something with another friend. If she felt she had to cancel, couldn't she say she had to visit elderly Auntie Marge or something? Or maybe not in the age of FaceBook... Ds was cancelled on by a friend with a "terrible cold". The terrible cold friend was still able to struggle out to pub with some other friends and post photos of the jolly time they had the next day.

Tbh 'lack of social awareness' or not I would just conclude she wasnt that bothered about seeing me. I drop people pdq if they start cancelling on me without good reason. I quite simply cannot be arsed with flakey people messing me around, I am busy too.

So yanbu.

Yanbu and the other thread which was strikingly similar I told the poster they bu.

Are you the same poster doing a Everest to see if you get the same responses?

Or did you friend happen to post here too.

Of course could be a coincidence

Shes given tonnes of notice. I dont see a problem. It doesnt mean she likes you less. Can you do a diff day

I would be miffed as well. If she immediately said "Can we meet on xyzzy?", instead, then that wouldn't be so bad. Also, if it was an exceptional circumstance, ie. Friend lives abroad and is visiting UK on a flying visit, then I would understand. However, to treat another friend when arrangements had already been made is a little rude (without rearranging your visit).