So one of my closest friends is a colleague from work. We're not in the same team, but same department (we used to be in the same team at one point)
We're very close and we tell each other everything. Him and I have been through ups and downs and we've always come out of them. For example, he said he had fallen in love with me a few months back and I didn't think of him the same way. I genuinely thought that would be the end of our friendship, but we got through it and we were still friends!
Now recently things have gotten every strained and awkward and I need some thoughts on the situation.
Before I explain what happened, I want to give some background on his character. He's a bit of a chauvinist (you can tell me if I'm being harsh after you've heard the story) and he's also a bit resentful of anyone else's success.
For example, he NEVER has anything g good to say about the work of a female colleague or manager. I understand that it's entirely possible that some of them totally deserve the criticism, but surely not all?! How can all the women he's ever worked with be utterly crap as he describes? Secondly, our firm also allows parents to work flexible hours and every time a woman does it, he thinks it's "unfair". My company recently allowed a senior manager to take some time off work for mental health reasons (her husband was abusing her physically) and then once she had sorted her personal life out, they brought her back to the same role. I think this is fantastic and heartening, but he seems to think it was "unfair"
I've had some successes at work and I've done a lot of work in my time here. He's never once acknowledged it.
I've never taken these things to heart and I've always overlooked them. But recently something just snapped. I was asked by HR and my manager to speak to young uni students coming in for an open day. Basically, I was asked to represent the company and share my experiences and successes with people looking to join the company. This is an honour, and I was pleased. When I mentioned it to him he asked- "really? Why you?" Coming from who I considered to be a close friend, I found this shockingly rude. I still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. So I jokingly said," well ,maybe they think I speak well and will represent the company well? Why so shocked?" His response? "Interesting" no well done, no acknowledgement that yes Nicebucket, of course you'll do well - nothing.
And this incident made me think back to all the times he's subtly put down my work. I try not to be too forceful or political at work and I'm usually a good sport, so maybe I overlooked it. But I notice he's always made fun of me a little- oh you're always the last one to arrive, you probably don't start work before 11, you spend three hours in the office loo doing your makeup, you're going to suck at this project. He's said it all jokingly and I've always assumed he's pulling my leg, but now I wonder if he believed what he said.
I've also always maintained that I'm interested in getting married or starting a family anytime soon (if ever). While all my other friends respectfully accept this, he's always said " I give it less than two years, this obsession with the job won't last, you'll be married and pregnant. The desire to procreate is evolution" He'd never say this to a man right? I find it patronising that he thinks my focus on my career is a phase and I'll be barefoot and pregnant in two years.
Anyway, after the conversations above, I've been a bit pissed off. And he's probably sensed it, so he's asked me if something was wrong. This was at work and I didn't want to create a scene so I just said everything was cool and we could talk in detail later.
After that things just got really awkward over the past couple of days even though I've been normal and polite. Today he just didn't talk to me all day and at this work party he was really withdrawn and borderline rude.
I'm even more pissed off now, because after behaving this way it still looks lie, he wants ME to apologise and ask him what's wrong.
Am I overreacting? Should I ask him what's wrong or let him have his sulk?
Also, AIBU in my annoyance over his attitude?