to ask what's the worst/silliest advice you've seen on here?

[Francoitalialan]

MN is such a tremendous source of info but sometimes it goes wonky. What's the worst/silliest advice you've seen?

'My dh has been on the piss and rolled in at 4am, I have to go to work and he's dead to the world, I have an 18 month old'
'Send the toddler in to wake him up! He'll soon get out of bed! He'll have to get up if you just leave him to it!'

Ffs, a man who goes on the piss til 4am when they are supposed to look after a toddler isn't the sort of man who will drag himself out of bed after 3 hours sleep and be a responsible parent. It drives me crazy when posters assume that irresponsible pisshead dads will simply become responsible because their partners leave them with the kids. No, it's far more likely that the husband will stay in his pit and neglect the kid, or will get up and still be pissed or dangerously hungover

I am a sahm.
I was called a prostitiute on a feminism thread.
No idea how mners make a chicken last 7 weeks. Or mners who can make meals from dust and hairspray.
My mind boggles.

When in AIBU the poster is being 100% reasonable, but someone still comes along, ignores most of what they've written and calls them a twat. Eg-

"Aibu I'm a working mum, have 4 kids do all housework, cooking, childcare etc and my dh just watches TV all evening when he gets home from work and expects me to wait on him"

"Stop being so self pitying, he's been at work and deserves some down time".

Or the other way around with the poster is being a massive twat and someone tries to defend their decision to feed their 3 month old McDonalds or whatever.

All the things men are not supposed to do after having kids.

"Doesn't he realise he has a family now?" In response to anything that affords the poor sod a shred of autonomy.

Quite a lot of the 'trust your maternal instincts' type advice.

Pet hate here. If you've barely held a baby for more than 3 minutes before handing it back, how the fuck are you supposed to magically just know what to do with a baby? If you want to read a book, read a book!

It might be well meaning but I always think it's hugely undermining as well as being quite silly, and it's surely not going to make a poster who is struggling because they don't know what to do feel any better, is it?

Or when posters don't read the whole thread yet still think they are qualified to answer , priceless .......

Or the reverse of this, when posters get great advice and completely ignore it, ploughing on with their own agenda: super soaker in classics being the gold standard.

Yes to the 'trust your maternal instincts' thing or 'you know your baby best'.

Super soaker. An oldie but a goodie. I loved that thread. She was determined wasn't she?

Anyone who advises a poster to do an outlandish thing they themselves wouldn't do in a million bloody years.
I see a lot of this on MN.

"I have never worked out what is deemed acceptable advice or responses to give to skint people.

Any ideas?"

I advise people to go post (preferably a SOA) on MoneySavingExpert. They make MN look like netmums

Or I wait for Lougle

I am probably the worst person to give financial advice, this is possibly why I don't have a fortune hiding in the back of the sofa for emergencies...

OP: DS (for medical reasons) has sensitive willie and finds brand X chafe. Any suggestions for good alternatives?

Several helpful posters who answer the question.

Doctrinaire poster: my son is fine with brand X. You are obviously just buying the wrong size.

(I honestly think some folk are just hard wired to be contrary for the sake of it. )

"I am probably the worst person to give financial advice, this is possibly why I don't have a fortune hiding in the back of the sofa for emergencies..."

This made me snort.

How is it that I've worked in mental health the whole of my adult life and have never come across anyone with an actual diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder but 70% of Mumsnetters seem to have an SIL, friend or cousin with NPD?

Um, because narcissists tend to function quite well in the world and don't actually require help from mental health practitioners?

I'm obviously not saying every nasty piece of work is a narcissist, but there are a lot of them out there.

'I honestly think some folk are just hard wired to be contrary for the sake of it.'

Now that is true.

Op: I've just been screamed at by another parent in the school car park for no reason.

Reply: next time you see her, giver her a cream egg, she must have had a bad day.

Wouldn't they have had to be diagnosed by a MHP?

Sorry last post was to maybebaby.

Yes...why would a narcissist see a mental health practitioner? I wouldn't expect a MHP to come across it in that capacity.

Nor a sociopath.

I have read some awful advice on relationships over the past week and was actually intending to start a thread.... but hey I'll just project here instead....

Poster: "my gut instinct tells me he's having an affair."

response: "always listen to your gut. He's definitely having an affair, in fact he's probably shagging her in your bed while you're downstairs writing this. Hire a private investigator to find the evidence then ltb.

Poster: "we had a long chat, and the reasons for his absences are completely plausible. I know in my heart that he's telling the truth, I can just feel it in my gut."

Response: "don't listen to that feeling in your gut, he's having an affair. ltb at once.

poster: "I've just found out dh is having an affair."

response: Pack his stuff, change the locks and withdraw all the money from the joint account.

Op: "he's genuinely remorseful, has removed all contact, ended it with ow and we're going to counselling and hopefully going to work on things.

response: "clearly you're not going to listen to our advice to ltb so I'm done here. "

And one truly one:

op, having found out that her h had had an affair and choosing to end the relationship, the dh agreeing to leave the next day, from another poster:

"this is the most dangerous time for you and the time when most men choose to kill their partners and children. Be careful, don't leave your ds alone with him and call 999 as soon as anything happens." and for context, this wasn't a violent relationship...

"My teen seems a bit unappreciative of all the opportunities he/she has and wants to leave home"

"Take them to a homeless shelter and show them the poor freaks living there, maybe they could serve them dinner as well"

"

bumbley yes of course, officially - but my point was that just because as a mental health practitioner you don't see many diagnosed narcissists doesn't mean they don't exist in vast quantities.

Ah yes I remember the 'give the lady the house' thread, the poster who took that line was utterly determined to push that agenda.

The 'kick him out, throw his clothes outside, change the locks' is such bad advice and usually given when the Op's dh has committed the most minor infringement.

The reading between the lines, not comprehending the OP and jumping to ridiculous conclusions based on no evidence whatsoever always makes me , even more so when other posters pick up the 'new' version of events and run with it whilst the OP is shell shocked by the sudden turn of events and desperately tries to get things back on track.