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AIBU?

To be shocked at Marie Claire Porn Survey

43 replies

whatnow123 · 21/10/2015 14:35

www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a16474/women-porn-habits-study/

31% of women use porn weekly.
66% Never watch it with there partner.

As a man I was genuinely shocked. Men's porn use is at about double that of women, 65% use it weekly. l would have put it below 10% for women. Attitudes are definitely changing.

OP posts:

Report

Marynary · 22/10/2015 17:43

I don't think that Marie Claire readers, particularly those that can be bothered to respond to one of their surveys are likely to be representative of the UK female population.

RufusTheReindeer · 22/10/2015 17:43

I was surprised when i read the headlines

But the figures make more sense when you see the amounts surveyed

And when you realise that apparently reading erotica counts

is that proper rude books or books with rude bits in?

AdjustableWench · 22/10/2015 19:13

I'm in my 40s and don't watch porn or read erotica... I have other interests... But I work with a lot of women in their 20s and having discussed porn with them, it emerged that they don't watch porn either. My sample is much smaller than Marie Claire's, and also not representative, but I was interested in their comments about the sexist nature of most porn - they don't like it. I formed the impression that they might be more likely to watch porn if it were less sexist and more representative of real women's fantasies. I find that quite interesting.

AdjustableWench · 22/10/2015 19:14

Yeah, I talk about porn with everyone...

Fugghetaboutit · 22/10/2015 19:16

Also, people lie Adjustable

SaucyJack · 22/10/2015 19:35

I think it's fairly obvious that more women would enjoy porn if it appealed more to female turn-ons rather than some fat middle-aged men spunking on an underweight teenage girl's face.

Fugghetaboutit · 22/10/2015 20:16

You have to pay for all the 'feminist' porn I've tried to access. Typical.

Senpai · 22/10/2015 20:51

You have to pay for all the 'feminist' porn I've tried to access. Typical.

What is feminist porn?? A man asks a woman to have sex, she says yes, and then they close the doors and respectfully do it in private so they're not exploiting their bodies?

OddSocksHighHeels · 22/10/2015 20:56

senpai Google Pandora Blake. She describes the porn she makes as feminist and ethical spanking porn

AdjustableWench · 22/10/2015 21:27

Sure, people lie, when they feel they need/want to. And presumably that's an issue with any self-reported behaviour, including the Marie Claire survey. People can lie in either direction: claiming they watch porn when they don't, or claiming they don't watch porn when they do. I like to think that the people I work with have no particular reason to lie, partly because of the reasons they give for not watching porn. But I can't know any more about my sample than any other researcher who relies on self-reporting.

As for feminist porn, I think SaucyJack has a point, and yes, paying for porn is an issue, especially when specialist (eg feminist) porn is probably more expensive to produce. I don't think the idea of feminist porn is particularly surprising; it's really not just a matter of a man asking a women for sex (I'd like to think it might involve a woman asking a man for sex, but maybe I'm hopelessly idealistic...)

At the behest of my therapist I watched some porn produced by a woman porn director. It wasn't feminist porn.

Fugghetaboutit · 22/10/2015 21:41

They probably lie because it's very private and none of your business and they're embarassed you'll judge them? I wouldn't tell my closet friends I watch it, let alone work colleagues.

Re 'feminist' porn, that's what I've seen it called, Senpai sounds silly I know. I hate how porn is all made for men. I like erotic books. I don't watch hardcore stuff as it's pretty shit tbh and degrading. I would rather watch real couples enjoy good sex. Hard to find though.

OddSocksHighHeels · 22/10/2015 21:47

Sometimes people lie to fit in as well. If everybody else is saying they don't watch porn then the person/people that do might not like to admit it.

I was baffled by a conversation I walked into at work once, four women all saying how ridiculous men are for assuming that women masturbate, it's all male fantasy and women don't actually do it. I asked them who they thought was buying vibrators.

Fugghetaboutit · 22/10/2015 21:51

Exactly. Girls are raised by family and society usually to be non sexual - not to masturbate, stay a Virgin, not enjoy sex unless you're a whore etc etc. They're hardly going to admit to wanking and watching porn to anyone.
For men however it's a given, and a laugh.

whatnow123 · 22/10/2015 22:01

It is a given for men. Talking about which porn sites are the best is a conversation as comfortable as discussing the football.

I don't actually know if any of my female friends watch porn. The same with female partners. I think the assumption is they wouldn't but I suppose that is rooted in sexism.

OP posts:

AdjustableWench · 22/10/2015 22:02

They probably lie because it's very private and none of your business and they're embarassed you'll judge them? I wouldn't tell my closet friends I watch it, let alone work colleagues.

Maybe, although they're not you . Also, they know I don't judge people about that kind of thing. Most of my closest friends watch porn and are happy to talk about it.

Erotic books have their place, as do real couples enjoying good sex. So why is most porn so shit? That's what I want to know. Maybe because women don't want to pay for it, because most porn is shit so it doesn't seem worthwhile?

OddSocksHighHeels · 22/10/2015 22:11

whatnow It will depend on your group of friends. My friends are really open about stuff but other people aren't the same. Has this thread been a bit of an eye opener for you then?

adjustable my personal view is that the porn industry started and was aimed at men only. The people in charge were all are (and the vast majority still are) so they designed everything to appeal to men. They haven't managed to move on yet and tap into the female market and, until they realise there's money to be made by making stuff that appeals to women in general, then it will carry on that way.

AdjustableWench · 22/10/2015 22:47

OddSocks Yes, exactly. And women who direct porn tend to work within the same old parameters. I think queer porn will eventually have an effect on straight porn for women, but it'll take some time.

OddSocksHighHeels · 22/10/2015 23:07

Yep. I think part of that comes down to most of the women working as directors were previously porn actresses (not fact checked, I admit) so it makes sense that they continue with the current standard as that's what they know.

Pandora Blake, who I mentioned above, is different. I was introduced to her briefly not long ago. She directs and acts in it and really wants it to be fun for the performers. She's quite niche, her stuff is all spanking so not to everybody's taste, but she uses a better variety of body types and they're people that she actually knows. She's really lovely as well (irrelevant, I know, but felt like adding it).

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