To not want to send dd to nursery after this?

[Arkkorox]

2 weeks ago a local nursery nurse was arrested and it's come to light that it was because they were in possession of a large amount of child pornography and indecent pictures of children of the age group he worked with.

Dd was on the list for this nursery and I have since taken her off. It's made me not want to send her to nursery at all.

DP says I'm being silly and we should still look into sending her. I think that I might be worrying too much about it too but if that supposedly background checked nurse can slip through so can others?

Also Ofsted looks at the privacy and dignity of children and wouldn't. Expect a staff member to be watching a 3 year old go to the toilet! That's wierd. Of course toilets need doors and children need privacy.

oldking that's exactly what's bothering me. How can I trust them when they're withholding information.

You want to be sure that the people looking after your child are good, responsible people who like children.

You can never have that guarantee as a parent. All you can do is reduce that chances of someone abusing your child.

I, personally, would be more uncomfortable with the idea of someone watching my child's nappy being changed than the idea of someone doing it one their own.

Parents need to look round and find a setting that they feel offer what they feel is most important. They also need to be realistic about the fact that no home or setting is risk free.

It does make me wonder though how those safeguards apply to CMs and nannies.

The risks are different in that you know there is not a high turnover of staff, only one person is looking after your child and you get to vet them personally. It's horses for courses.

The nursery will be guided by the police investigation and probably can't just give out information anyway.

It's a criminal investigation which could be detailed by gossip and speculation between parents.

I was involved in a child abuse investigation while a TA (not me) and we were warned to say nothing to anyone. Least of all parents.

That's exactly how rumours and lies spread though,dh is in PR and he has to tell the companies to tell the truth. It can be much worse if they don't.

In my experience of something similar the entire place was closed by Ofsted pending a full investigation.

I think I know the nursery. If so, I understand that none of the photos were of children from the nursery itself.

However, I would not send my child there for other reasons. They are still riding high on the excellent reputation they built up as an independent nursery. Since being taken over by larger nursery chains (more than once), they are not as good as they once were.

"the only way to deal with things is total transparency and the fact that the nursery is refusing to say whether this happened in their setting would make me not send them" there will be valid reasons for this though, not least the need to prevent the identity of potential victims from becoming public knowledge or at the very least the subject of idle speculation.

I can exactly see why you would be reluctant. When I was searching for a nursery for my DD I found it really difficult to find one that met with my standards. My DD started at a nursery that I was led to believe was 'outstanding' but they had another nursery in the area and they misled parents by suggesting the 'outstanding' award was for there location, when in fact it was for the nursery with the same name in the other location.

My DD hated it from day one and I now feel terrible that I even cajoled her for a couple of weeks. She didn't like it as she kept telling me they had to go in he attic room and weren't allowed to play downstairs. Basically, when I visited and first looked around, they informed me that the huge playing area in an old house downstairs, with interesting equipment and toys, 'was' for 2.5 - 5 year olds and indeed, that was the age range of children in this area. They told me they sometimes did art and crafts in the attic room and they called it the 'kindergarten' room but the children were free to move about and go where they liked. It transpired that DD was always led to this room and not allowed downstairs, except when they had to go in the garden and walk through this area. I think that they were actually just sending the children who attended with the 15 hr vouchers- like DD, up to the attic room. Those who were there full time or for longer than 15hrs had full use of the playroom that was attractive. I promptly moved her out, told them the reason why and they weren't even bothered, which says it all really. I looked at other nurseries, preschools but they were simply not good enough. I found a preschool in the end that had a charity status and it was much better, transparent, nurturing but even then I only used 6hrs of vouchers as they simply could not give her the 1-1 attention that I think 3 year olds need.

I am not very pleased with my DD's set up at school as she has just started Reception and the toilets the Reception children use are in a closed off small room that consists of two toilets. My DD was very upset when she started school and on one particular morning the teacher told me to take her to this closed off toilet to calm her down. I didn't do this as other reception children may have been using the loo. I stood in the hallway with her instead and a TA was showing a Reception age child where the loo was. The TA questioned who I was and told me that I wasn't allowed to be there. Obviously, that's good on her part but she then proceeded to take this child in to the loo that is a completely sealed off room on her own. The child who was about 4 only asked the way, not for help. I was equally questioning of this in my head and don't think she should be doing this. It's difficult as a parent though as on a whole they're more informed of policy and the law than your average parent who doesn't work with children. My experience of talking to Early years providers is that they can present an image of everything being fine as you only have the word of a very young child which they can dismiss as a 'misunderstanding'. I have turned up at DD's preschool early last year and sometimes found her key worker to be quite 'shouty'. The other staff however were still very warm which was reassuring. This woman liked my DD but didn't cope well with children that were a bit more challenging. Her son attended the preschool and she didn't seem to present her professional side as a result.

Can you go on any recommendations? I would definitely just turn up at a nursery rather than booking an appointment to visit as I says a lot about what they're really like.

Why on earth would a nursery let a random stranger turn up on the door for a look around visit? You certainly wouldn't be allowed on the premises in any that I know of without an appointment. Their first priority is to look after the children within their care, not invite strangers in. The children & staff aren't performing monkeys in a zoo for people to come & watch when it takes their fancy!

Stickerrocks - my Dsis manages a nursery and they have an 'open door' policy whereby potential parents can just call in. Also, all staff have to hand over mobile phones as soon as they arrive.

I understand your concerns OP so do look around at different ones until you find one you are comfortable with.