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AIBU?

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Original poster

To mention this to the teacher re parent volunteer

80 replies

Saladeeta · 20/10/2015 16:48

I don't know what is the protocol with parent volunteers but I felt unhappy with the following situation.

Parent of dds friend volunteers and checks some of her work- its a reading test. Parent texts me to say she thought dd had memorised all words, not reading them. She put it nicely, but I found it a bit odd. She then wrote a comment about having completed the task in the home school communication book. Which means she has read all through the numerous communications between me and her teacher. All friendly, nothing embarrassing, but I felt uncomfortable. Is this th I norm with parent volunteers or should I mention it to the teAcher, that o would prefer only staff to use the book?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 20/10/2015 16:49

Well she shouldn't be texting you about things that have happened in school to start with.

AChickenCalledKorma · 20/10/2015 16:50

Not the norm in our school - parents are not allowed to volunteer in their own child's year group, to prevent this sort of situation arising.

Original poster
Saladeeta · 20/10/2015 16:52

By the way- she was reading them legitimately as I checked with the teacher- she is also pretty far ahead on reading which I never mention to any other parents as hate competitive element

OP posts:
DonkeyOaty · 20/10/2015 16:53

Please tell the school Shock

Original poster
Saladeeta · 20/10/2015 16:54

I'm totally peed off - it is bad isn't it?

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 20/10/2015 16:54

I was a parent volunteer at my kids school when they were young. I could help out in their class but at the beginning of the year we had to sign a privacy form saying we wouldn't discuss anything outside the classroom.

I think you should talk to the teacher, I'm suet this cannot be allowed.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 20/10/2015 16:56

That fills me with dread, one of my dc had confidential issues that only the teacher/headteacher know about, sometimes it is referred to in the home/school book.

I would not be happy with that situation at all and would absolutely be telling the school.

Jackie0 · 20/10/2015 16:57

I think she is overstepping the mark.
She really shouldn't be texting about this at all.
I can just imagine how some people would love a little bit of power being a volunteer.
If it was my child I'd hate it.

DonkeyOaty · 20/10/2015 16:58

Keep the texts - screen shot them and print out to show school.

I know volunteers are performing a valuable service but texting you is a massive no no Flowers

m0therofdragons · 20/10/2015 16:58

For me this would really depend on who the person is. They shouldn't discuss your dc with anyone else but I've had 2 parent helpers separately message me about my dtds. They are youngest in the year and I've been worried about them and these two parents knew that. The messages they sent were really reassuring and helped me to know they've settled in fine. If they'd said "might be an idea to check xyz" then I'd take it as them being helpful rather than making an issue.

OurBlanche · 20/10/2015 16:58

Talk to the teacher and reassure yourself that she is volunterring and working according to the school's own regulations and expectations. Then remember:

  1. Memorising words is part of learning to read
  2. Parent volunteers really should remember they are not teachers, so their opinions hold no weight at all. They are there to support both students and teachers
  3. Repeat point 2
  4. Give her a prospectus for university, maybe she could get the relevant qualifications...
  5. Ignore 4, it was for the fun of it, not for real
  6. Repeat point 2
Smile
Thatpoorpig · 20/10/2015 16:59

I'm a parent reader and we are specifically told we cannot speak to any parent about any child we read with (within the context of the parent reading) for this exact reason.

Incidentally we also have a separate reading record to write in so that we do not have access to parent/teacher communication in the reading record.

catfordbetty · 20/10/2015 17:02

This is not the norm. This parent volunteer needs briefing about confidentiality.

SmokeAlarmsSaveLives · 20/10/2015 17:03

This is wrong on so many levels. I would be making a formal written complaint to the school! I'm a chair of governors and usually advise having a chat with the head but this would have me reaching for pen and paper.

MrsMolesworth · 20/10/2015 17:10

Memorising words is one of the key ways to learn how to read. It isn't as fashionable currently as phonics but it's just as legitimate.

AlfAlf · 20/10/2015 17:16

Not on at all.
What was her motive for texting you? I can't think of a genuine good one..make you feel she knows your DC better than you do? Make out your DC isn't as clever as you think?

TheStripyGruffalo · 20/10/2015 17:18

If she thinks that, or anything else, about a child then she should talk to the teacher and let her speak to the parents. Volunteers, teaching assistants etc should always go through the teacher first IMO.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/10/2015 17:19

I read with children in ds3's class, when he was in year 3, and like Thatpoorpig, i knew I was not to talk to parents about their children, and had a separate reading record to use.

Toughasoldboots · 20/10/2015 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop · 20/10/2015 17:31

Outrageous.

We don't have parent helpers but I'd be annoyed to see a parents entry into log and a text re he test.

Snowcoveredthoughtcage · 20/10/2015 17:32

Actually, a friend of mine volunteers at school and said to me in passing the other day, "oh, read with littlesnow yesterday, she did really well." I don't see anything wrong with that. Should I have done?

var123 · 20/10/2015 17:32

She shouldn't have contacted you, or even answered questions if you had decided to pressure her into telling her.

Writing in the book is normal though IME. How else can you know which pages have been read at school?

When I used to volunteer, I'd sometimes think a child was struggling at a level, or finding it too easy or even I'd notice that I was the only person who the child had read to for several weeks and I'd tell the teacher all these things. Then it was up to the teacher what she did with the info.

mellowheart · 20/10/2015 17:40

Nothing wrong with that Snow, not the same as what the OPs talking about though.

ChatEnOeuf · 20/10/2015 17:41

I've been a parent volunteer. It was made clear to us we were not to discuss the children's reading with anyone apart from the teacher. We wrote in the reading log, but were limited to 'thank you for reading with me today' or similar.

LaLyra · 20/10/2015 17:42

The only people who should be passing on concerns about your child is the teacher or Head/Deputy Head. You should mention it to the school. I'd complain officially, but if you are worried about any comeback you could mention it in a "I was surprised to get a text from x about y" way. It really is not acceptable, especially given she wasn't even correct in her opinion.

In any school I've ever worked in this would be seen as a massive breach of confidentiality and the volunteer probably wouldn't be welcome back.

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