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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this standard?

16 replies

PhoebeFalange · 19/10/2015 23:13

Dd1 is 10 and has started 11+ practise with a young guy over the road for a reduced rate (c. £16 an hour). Guy in question is just out of uni and tutoring for extra money I think; he seems good at what he does (went to local grammar, top uni, clutch of A*s) and dd1 likes him.

Anyway they've had a few lessons but tutor has asked me if i could buy some bond workbooks for them to go through together.

Is it standard for parents to buy these? Or does the tutor normally provide??

I'm very happy to pay given we're paying under the odds but would be interested to hear the norm!

TIA

OP posts:

JeffsanArsehole · 19/10/2015 23:15

Yes, normally they have their own books and annotate or do the exercises in them

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 19/10/2015 23:18

Not sure about tutoring, but you'd buy your own books for (eg) piano lessons, if that helps.

EastMidsMummy · 19/10/2015 23:19

Paying for tutors and books to get your child into a grammar school shows exactly why selective education is nothing about individual ability and everything about social background. So, elbows out, chequebook out and get paying. It's called a meritocracy.

Original poster

PhoebeFalange · 19/10/2015 23:22

Haha eastmids we're hardly super-tutoring! Just getting a guy over the road to chat dd through the types of questions for beer money.

The books are a fiver each and accessible to everyone. Just want to help her as much as we can

OP posts:

Original poster

PhoebeFalange · 19/10/2015 23:22

Thanks jeffsan and mrsleigh

OP posts:

nilbyname · 19/10/2015 23:23

phoebe good try, but you know -'eastmidsmum totally has you pegged!

EastMidsMummy · 19/10/2015 23:24

No-one's ever "super tutoring"", just doing the best for little Esme or Josh. It's completely standard and scrupulously fair.

GlaceCherries · 19/10/2015 23:28

Buy your own practise books, also mark them yourself outside of the lesson time so that the tutor doesn't need to: more time for correcting mistakes and teaching.

Original poster

PhoebeFalange · 19/10/2015 23:29

Ok thanks both. That wasn't my aibu though

OP posts:

Original poster

PhoebeFalange · 19/10/2015 23:31

Thanks glace I think the tutor is intending to use them as workbooks though. So they'll do the exercises together and then go over mistakes in lesson time

OP posts:

TTTatty · 19/10/2015 23:37

For the money you are paying I think it is reasonable for you to provide books.

I have paid £25 and been expected to provide the books (only one lesson with that one!)

Have just started my dd with a tutor who is doing their A2s, £16 an hour and I am more than happy to provide the books :-)

miaowroar · 19/10/2015 23:39

Not saying that people should super-tutor their children for 11+ but there is a learning curve to exam technique which I think is worth looking at. Or else some children would just sit puzzling at a questions they couldn't do until all their time was up instead of leaving it and going back to it. Just sayin'.

Unreasonablebetty · 19/10/2015 23:43

I've no idea, I've been looking for a tutor for my DD the past few months though,
Have so far been repelled by the fact many are vastly more than I would like to spend, whilst others I'm not sure I completely trust to be around my daughter (quite picky when choosing people I think!!)
Anyway, generally speaking, the cheapest I've found (was quite happy with this price!!) was £35 an hour. So by paying the amount you are then buying materials you are still saving yourself a tidy little sum.

Btw- most tutors I've found are £45-£60 per hour. My eyes almost popped out of my head, I was thinking £25-£35 was more what I would be able to get away with paying

ThatsDissapointing · 19/10/2015 23:43

At £16 per hour I think it fair for you to buy them. However, that means you get to keep them.

stoppingbywoods · 20/10/2015 00:10

I've tutored a lot. Charged £25 and didn't ask anyone to buy books. I'm not sure I'd be impressed if someone asked you to buy books, actually. It seems a rather lazy way to teach (but I was teaching arts so this may be influencing my viewpoint). I did use online resources that I had chosen and prepared ahead of time. But sitting down and talking her through an exercise really is a little chat for beer money. If you were receiving 'tuition' you would be paying more, buying your own books, and hopefully receiving a lot more than the book in terms of resources.

Teemeeforesee · 20/10/2015 01:04

Hello, I'm coming on here as an 11 plus tutor.

Buying the books is one of the few ways you can actually "teach" the new CEM paper, because it's tutor proof in essence. The best practice is definitely to go through the different exercises that exist out there and the most efficient way of doing this is by using the books!

Obviously I supplement my lessons with my own resources, mock tests, timed exercises etc etc but I feel it's a little unfair to make a tutor earning £16 per hour fork out the same again on workbooks - that's basically getting a lesson for free! He has to earn a living too, and the living he's earning us based on teaching your dd how to do the exercises in front of her.

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