AIBU to think that whispering in company is just plain rude?

[kweggie]

My BIL's daughter is ten. She is encouraged by her mother to tell tales and complain if she does not get her own way.
The thing that really REALLY annoys me though is the way she takes her mum aside and they whisper together if she wants her mum to intervene so that she can get her own way. I feel so affronted I am speechless. AIBU?
And what do I do or say?

Yes, I do think that is rude. DS has a friend we have known since 8 months old. They are now 6. I can count on one hand the number of times she has spoken to me and those were when her mother was out of the room. But she also speaks often to her mother through a toy, more so since her parents split. I find it weird, but it's not my place to comment. She speaks fine to DS. It is however a little insulting!

YABtotallyU about the presents though! What has Father Christmas got to do with presents from you? If it was close to Christmas, then surely it would be considered rude not to open it? Then you can thank the person who gave it to you.

Like Iguana's friend, when DS1 has tried this, I have told him to say it out loud, I don't respond to whispers. And then whatever he wants, I tell him to ask the person himself.

He usually does it.

I can't abide collaborative whispering and giggling in company, it's SO rude.

It is very rude, and the mother is a silly woman to encourage that behaviour.

What does her daughter do at school? Does she whisper to the teacher, and is then mocked by all the other kids?

Just jokingly say "as I'm not in on this shall I leave the room?" Or "it's ok to go in another room if you two want to talk privately ". Genuine smile.

Its annoying when children do it but absolutely unacceptable when adults do it. A couple of DD's friend's mums (very middle-class) were talking about something at after a party last year in quite excited, loud whispers for over 10 minutes. I found it incredibly rude and couldn't believe that they continued even when I was looking over at them (I was the only other adult in the room). I did actually hear a few words and figured out that it was something about an inappropriate human body book in the school library and one of the mums (vicar's wife) had kicked up a fuss and got it removed. She was obviously very pleased about this as she went on for bloody ages. Pathetic.

I was brought up that whispering is rude and I don't allow my DCs to do it, mostly. DS did do it at hell soft play recently, but because he was telling me about a little shit boy following him around and calling him a fat git (DS isn't fat and wasn't even doing anything to this horrible boy) and thought as he was saying a 'bad' word, he didn't want my friend to here.

Context is everything, occasionally for something like above, yes, consistently, nope it's very rude.

I went to uni with a girl whose sister did this in her twenties. My friend was perfectly nice, but when her sister visited she'd never really speak, would just whisper in friends ear, and friend would say "Louise says..." (Name changed obviously). I found it so rude, they stayed at my family home for an event and she barely said two words to me. Even my mum thought she was rude, and mum likes everyone! A mutual friend who grew up with the sisters confided in me that their group of friends back home referred to the sister as Sooty!!

An (ex) friend of mine went to her soon to be SIL hen do with her MIL. MIL would then be hen do girl's MIL as well, iyswim. They spent the WHOLE night texting each other, even though they were sitting next to each other, & giggling between themselves. Digital whispering.
The height of bad manners, & so immature, too.

frigginell,
she's 'telling tales' in order to get her mother to intervene so that she can have her own way . I suppose some of my annoyance is really the fact that her mother doesn't just say ''No you've been told 'no' or 'we can't all fit around you'.

I have four children and they were never allowed to behave like this.