To not want DS playing 'guns' at nursery?

[DelphiBlue]

Willing to accept I may have a bad case of PFB so would like some perspective please.

DS is 3 and a half. He's been at his nursery for about 6 months and absolutely loves it there, so I've been very happy with it.
We don't have 'gun' games in our house. Since he started nursery he's inevitably become more interested in super heroes and the like, which I'm fine with. We don't really watch the programmes but he likes the characters and the toys etc.
His make pretend games are still fairly innocent, he favours train sets and Thomas still.
Today, as I was tidying up with him, he told me he likes to play guns and nursery. He told me when he's a man he will get a gun and shoot people . He said he knows how to make a gun with blocks and (lady who works at his nursery - his key worker) likes to play guns with him.
Now I know that a lot of the 'violent' games are probably inevitable at some stage, and I know he will pick some stuff up from friends but at nursery with his key worker? AIBU to really not be happy with this?
His description of his game was very detailed, and at 3 he really hasn't started lying or making up stories like that yet. His account of things is always very reliable.

Am I being PFB or would this piss you off as well?

I would only possibly be concerned about the key worker playing gun games with him. Yes children will all do it among themselves but I'd expect an adult to divert the focus onto something ekse

Boys play fight
they just do
get real to it

Why's that NotMe?

TalkinPeece if you read any of my posts you will see that I completely accept that. My issue is with the key worker

Can you articulate what you find inappropriate about it?

Delphi
He is 3 : I'd get the Keyworker's version of events before you get carried away
Kids learn to exaggerate very fast once they start nursery

There is nothing wrong with playing guns....or pirates to the above poster. To limit little ones imaginations is crazy, you are projecting adult ideas onto children.

I loved a good game of army with the boys when I was little......I'm now a violent, sociopathic SAHM......or am I.

How do you know he hasn't learnt to make things up yet? My three year old was the least reliable source of information ever. If you are concerned, just ask the key worker what the nursery view of gun/weapon play is and whether they would ever join in with any such games. If you aren't happy with the answer you can speak to the manager. However, I wouldn't be concerned myself, I'm another one with a cousin who grew up in a house in which guns were banned and then he ended up in the army so I think it is best t treat them like any other toy and not make any issue about them.

I think it is vital for practitioners to join all children in the pretend play that they are engaged and involved in, rather than ban/ignore/control the play of some children (typically boys) while valuing and extending pretend play that they deem more acceptable.

Really, nothing wrong with guns or pirates etc in play.... Kids need to explore darker side of life through play I believe.... Forcing them to repress it may be counter productive (see earlier post).

Some of the games we used to play as kids were horrific when looked at with an adult lens ('bad' doll pushing other dolls from pretend diving board into pretend pool of boiling water with lid then put on top leaving the hapless doll to drown and boil in agony) but in real life we were, and remain, neither violent nor malicious in any way!

Snossidge- I came on to post that link to ABCdoes READ SNOSSIDGE'S LINK EVERYONE!

What is this crap about boys and guns? My DD plays with guns and I am sure that there are plenty of boys who are not interested in guns.

OP you are being PFB. Play fighting (as in imaginative, non-contact fighting) is as part of imaginative play as all sorts of other scenaria. A love of guns doesn't necessarily have a connection to violence or wanting to shoot real people, perhaps your DS will take up shooting as a hobby or a sport.

I adored playing with toy guns when I was little, toddler DS has seen both me and DH shoot guns too (unavoidable, we own a ranch). I have no problem with it, even when he's playing with his toy guns we mimic using them safely. I'm not anti guns though, so parent the way you think best .

Boys play fight they just do get real to it

Totally... That's how it is. No need to worry.

99% of boys will play at guns.

DH and I, sorry, don't speak English much anymore.

I always said with my DS I would wait till he found any interest..He never showed any interest ..He watched Peter pan and wanted a gun and a word the same week

I volunteer in girl guiding which has a policy of no war like games or activities. So water fights allowed but no water pistols, no laser tag etc. so this colours my view. Having said that many of the games and songs we do are pretty gruesome and wink murder always brings out some extremely dramatic deaths.

I guess I am being over sensitive about guns in particular? I have zero experience of little boys, and while girls obviously do play gun games too, by the time I work with them they're 7 so don't really expect or want adults to join their imaginary play. Hm, I suppose because of the issues of children with guns in the US in particular, and the physical and emotional distance when firing a gun as opposed to many other forms of violence. I'm just not comfortable with adults encouraging gun games and saying its ok. I suppose maybe it depends on if a child only ever wants to play gun games or if they play them as well as other games.

Notme
When I was at my posh gels prep school we played Cowboys and Indians in the playground every break time.
We got in trouble for leaving a girl tied up with skipping ropes after the bell went

To those who are against 'gun' play, take 'what's the time Mr Wolf' be banned because it... Surely a game involving a wild animal attacking, killing and eating a child is every bit as disturbing as a shoot out... Or maybe I should have scolded my daughter for pretending to be a fairy and turning me into a frog the other day... I mean, how disturbed is that - fantasising about forcing another person to become an amphibian for the sheer fun of it... So twisted not even Dr Mengele stooped to such depths...

Or maybe it's just play, and we should recognise it for what it is, and not ridiculously try and exert adult mindset on it.

When I was little my dad used to hand-make us replica weapons - swords, shields, halberds, rifles, shotguns and even once an AK47 out of wood in his workshop, lovingly painted for realism. Neither I nor my two brothers have grown up to be murderers.

We lived in the South of France and used to play Cathars and Templars, which is sort of like Cowboys and Indians except, I realised later, with more religious torture and flaming martyrdom

I like nothing better than shooting a few rounds with DS' numerous Nerf guns. It's a great stress reliever, I'd recommend it to everyone.

fadingfast I hear ya!

I have been known (when home alone) to line up empty coke cans in the back garden, borrow one of my DSs' Nerf Guns and release my inner Ripley/Sarah Connor/Annie Oakley. SAHM in her forties here. Quite sane and proper the rest of the time It's great fun isn't it?!

Themotherofhellbeasts - you were right the first time it is 'me' as you would use whichever word you would if you were omitting 'DH' from the sentence IYSWIM

My issue is with the key worker

Based on what your 3 1/2 year old has said.

Don't take everything he says as 100% gospel, that way lies madness!!

As others have said - he probably fired at her & she went "Aaargh, got me!".

Nothing more sinister than that......