to be stunned at sil's grasping attitude?

[winkywinkola]

It's fil's 60th this December.

Sil thinks he should take us all away for a long weekend or to a London west end show.

That would be six adults and seven children.

She says everyone else she knows gets taken away for grandparents big birthdays, fil has no commitments like we do with children etc so he can treat us.

Am I alone in thinking for someone's birthday they don't usually end up paying for everyone else? Particularly if they are pensioners. I mean they're not poor but they're not wealthy by any standard.

She is being very unreasonable.
If they wanted to treat everyone they would, but to be told to is just rude!

My Fil took us, his sister and her adult children with spouses (who had their own small children), if that makes sense!

About 16 in 2 semi detached holiday cottages that you could move between.

Very kind. Must have a massive pension but still, we were a bit shocked!

He wanted to have people he loved around him on his 60th and didnt want any of us out of pocket!!

We paid for everything else but still couldnt match what he spent.

Fantastic memories.

I don't think your sil understands birthdays

Have you asked her what you'll be getting off her for hers?

Wait - what? HE should take YOU? On HIS birthday? My dad's not long turned ninety - I can't wait to break the news that he owes us all a holiday!!

My parents have 'treated' us a few times on 'their' special occasions at their own instigation, but it certainly wasn't at our suggestion nor was it expected as a matter of course!!

Has she actually said this to FiL or is she just grumbling? Depending on your FiL, I'd be tempted to tell her to go on and tell him what she thinks. My late father and/or my late FiL would pack her off with a huge flea in her ear, that's for sure. Then spread the story around the family, suitably embellished as a good story at her expense! What a cheeky cah!

Well, my siblings and I obviously missed a trick here. When my parents reached their 60th birthdays, we took them out for dinner and paid for their meals. That's fairly normal among people I know. The birthday person buying their nearest and dearest a long weekend is not normal in my experience.

How odd! I thought the point of celebrating a birthday is to do something the person whose birthday it is actually wants to do??? And that generally either everyone pays for themselves or everyone pays for themselves plus a share of the cost for birthday person?

Well, pil (sil and h's parents) know that whenever they meet her and her dcs, they have to pay for entrance to parks, meals out etc. She gets stroppy and sees them less often if they don't toe the line.

So they know the drill.

I think a west end theatre show for all of us or a weekend away in a cottage is going to cost £££££s. I think it's embarrassing frankly. Mil shits her pants at the prospect of standing up to her dd and fil just does what he's told. H wouldn't dream of rocking the boat either.

I am not fond of any of them at all tbh.

Wow she would get on with my sister in law. The thing is though she gets what she wants and has a least two holidays abroad with her son a year all paid for by MIL and FIL (they go too) and she does not take any spending money either. She is a senior manager so not short of a bob or two.

I remember we went with them a few years ago (we paid for us) and she just wandered around duty free at the airport putting whatever she wanted in the basket (perfume, alcohol etc) and then gave it to MIL to pay for (and she did!!!!). Then flew into a strop because FiL would not buy her a meal at the airport in Italy, apparently we could all do with a packet of crisp before the flight (we has an inflight meal booked) but she needed a "proper meal" before boarding the plane. FFS entiled much.
I blame MiL and FiL, they have enabled this behavour and carry on doing so

Wow. Everyone I have ever known will take their parents out for special celebrations, not have their parents take them out.

Which universe does your sil inhabit?