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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact school about this, or should I wait?

17 replies

CocktailQueen · 18/10/2015 21:56

Over the past term or so- before summer and this term - DS has been targeted on and off by another boy in his class, who will pester him at playtime or lunchtime to play, and even when DS tells a teacher, will carry on.

He tells DS he's crap, useless, can't play football (he used to be in the same football club as DS but DS left just before summer...).

On Friday he was biting his own arm then telling a lunchtime supervisor that DS had bitten him. This boy's parents have just begun to blank me and dh too, after being quite friendly, and I have no idea why.

Aibu to talk to teacher about this now, or wait till it gets even worse?

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 18/10/2015 21:59

Tell them now

Ham69 · 18/10/2015 22:01

Absolutely talk to his teacher first thing tomorrow.

starlight2007 · 18/10/2015 22:02

yes talk to school. whatever is going on you want the school to know

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 18/10/2015 22:03

No you don't wait. All waiting will do is make the bullying worse. God I despise bullies.

RealityCheque · 18/10/2015 22:06

"My child is being bullied - should I report it or wait?" Wow. Biscuit

Sometimes it amazes me that folk are capable of even wiping their own arses!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 18/10/2015 22:07

Or wait till it gets worse, sorry Cocktail but I am completely Shock at that logic. Worse in what way until he's refusing to go to school.
Or God forbid thinking he can't take anymore.

Original poster
CocktailQueen · 18/10/2015 22:09

Thanks. Have already had to contact school about another boy bullying DS this term so I feel a bit crap doing it again.

Have talked to DS about all the right things to say and do, but he needs to be able to talk to lunchtime supervisors as well and have them believe what he's saying.

This boy has said that his parents have contacted school to complain about DS and about us... But we haven't heard anything from school, so how likely is this?

The mum drives me mad. Used to be friendly - would go for coffee, walks etc - but since a few months ago she mostly blanks me - or is normal and chats. I never know where I stand and I hate it.

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Original poster
CocktailQueen · 18/10/2015 22:10

Reality - because it's not constant. That's why. Because sometimes this boy is nice and he and DS play together. That's why.

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Original poster
CocktailQueen · 18/10/2015 22:12

And I don't want school thinking I'm complaining about nothing.

Jesus, Reality, I can wipe my own arse, thank you so much for that. Don't be such a bully.

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RealityCheque · 18/10/2015 22:13

Cocktail - that is no excuse. And you know it.

Unless perhaps you want to wait for him to come home with a black eye (or worse) or perhaps have depression etc?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 18/10/2015 22:15

Don't fucking worry about what the school thinks. Your duty of care and priority is to your son!.
You're not complaining about "nothing". Last time I checked bullying was not nothing!!!!!!!

colourdilemma · 18/10/2015 22:18

It isn't always that simple, Reality, and that wasn't a very nice way of giving your opinion. This is sustained though, even if not constant, so I would definitely go in, Cocktail, even if just to make the school aware. Sadly, the friendship with the parent might slide; she will have trouble believing what her son is doing and even if not, it will be difficult not to feel awkward about it.

Original poster
CocktailQueen · 18/10/2015 22:18

Nope, it's never been physical and if it I was i would be in school ASAP.

It's just verbal. How much 'banter' should you expect dc to put up with, and just when should you intervene?

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Original poster
CocktailQueen · 18/10/2015 22:19

Colour - it seems that her son is telling a different story, but she has never been able to see that her dc can do anything wrong...

Thank you.

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EduCated · 18/10/2015 22:20

Oh give over, Reality. The reason so many people (children and adults) put up with bullying behaviour is because it isn't constant and is usually an accumulation of small things that don't always seem enough to make a fuss about individually, until you you look at it as a whole.

steppemum · 18/10/2015 22:24

I can see why you would be hesitant over 'banter' and it is often taken less seriously than physical, sometimes they are told he's being silly , don't worry, run along.
My kids were taught (at school) that bullying was any behaviour that was repeated and unwelcome. This is both. School needs to know that the other child is doing this, so that they aren't dismissed when it happens.

The one thing in your post that really bothered me was the biting himself and then blaming your ds. You must report that to school. I bet he went home and told mum, if he has done that before, that would explain mum's position. If you don't flag that up to school, then your ds could find himself in trouble for things he hasn't done.

Original poster
CocktailQueen · 18/10/2015 22:29

Thanks, Steppemum. It was the biting that made me think, yeah, I should do something about this.

DS is 8 in Year 4 and we have been trying to help him stand up for himself, but in this case he has done this and has told a teacher and the result has been the same!! Thank you.

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