To be fed up of what is happening in my house - noise related

[PacificMouse]

And by that I mean the complete silence.

I've been at home with the dcs all day and haven't hear a noise from them.
The only time I was granted a bit of a talk was when I told them dinner was ready.
Otherwise, tablets/computer games have been their one and only interest and clearly talking to aanother human being is just the done thing. :(

They aren't really teenagers yet either (dc1 is only 11yo).

AIBU to think that maybe it's time for them to start living in the RL world again??

I think you are a bit clueless to be honest.

Spend all day their eyes rivetted on a screen?

Yup probably. If you have left t'internet on all day that is.

If you're going to go down this route, you need to ensure that they have all the information, too.

Make sure they know that playing for hours at a time, without having a break, will make their eyes tired and can cause lasting damage. Teach them to go get some physical exercise. Running around for an hour will keep them in good physical condition and they can come back and play afterwards.

Do remember that the internet is addictive, though, and you can't pre-empt an addiction by exposing it limitlessly, earlier. You wouldn't offer them bottles of wine now - if anything, you'd offer them a glass, to teach them that this was an acceptable amount. It may well be the same for this. Perhaps you could give them a few hours a day that they can choose to spend doing whatever they like, including screen time? Or plan activities during the day, and they can decide how to spend their own time in the evenings?

Now, at 11, Minecraft and games like that are very important and they'll spend forever playing, if they can. In a few years, Facebook and Instagram will be important. They won't limit their time on Facebook because they used to play a lot of Minecraft - it doesn't work like that. Then when they hit 16, they'll go out (and use their phones all the time), and watch too many cat videos when they're at home.

Well they've had a half an hour limit imposed for years so I have no issue with imposing limits tbh.

That's not my point at all....

As for leaving the internet on. Well what would YOU do if your dcs were spending the whole day on their own at home during the hols? Would you stop them having ANY access to the Internet? (Incl to the iplayer etc... as we don't have a TV).
So a whole day (or week) with no tablet but also no internet, no Youtube to listen to music, no iplayer to watch some programs.... (But them still able to play some of the games anyway as they don't all need Internet connexion anyway). Sorry not going to work. It's not being 'clueless'. Its being realistic.

Children didn't explode in the days before the Internet you know.

Anchor interesting parallel between internet and drinking.

YY to teaching about the issues with Internet (we've had many talks about it) and doing things outside the house (they do but it's either because they have been stopped from going on the tablet or because we are doing something).
And teachung them waht is an acceptable amount.

Pipbin what do you mean?

There are things to do other than things online. If you chose to turn the wifi off then they will find other things to do, just like everyone did 20 years ago.

How long will you give them before you ask/suggest they stop?

I suspect they'll just keep on playing until you tell them to stop.

Bit of a wasted day but maybe you'll get long term gain for short term pain?

I give them about 1h30 before saying anything.
That normally result in them going out to play tennis.

But the minute they are back, the tablets are out again. And that I'm very annoyed about.

And yes they play until I tell them to stop. That's what I want to change. I want them to stop on their own.

This is quite a weird post.

As far as I am aware most people don't watch 5 hours of telly a day.

When we were teenagers we were invited to do as we pleased in the school holidays (used to mostly play tetris and my Dads golf PC game)

Saying that they need to learn to self limit at some random age when they are clearly not mature enough to do so suggests yoy might also let them drive a car or similar because they will need to in a few years.

Having said that if it is a one off day of doing not much - what is the big deal. I missed church and lay in bed this morning because I needed to. If I lazed around doing not much every Sunday I would think my family and myself would expect more of me.

How long have you been trying this approach? If it's a new thing the novelty may wear off and they'll play less.

I am really interested in your approach because I'm still at the strictly limiting screen time stage and would love to know if they can self regulate.

poocatcher, yes the average is about 5 hours per day for adults and more than 3 hours for children under 11yo.

iMatter, weve been doing for about 7~8 weeks. It might be too early yet (I have wondered too about the fact maybe they haven't got bored about it yet).
Some children seem to be able to self regulate better and I know some parents who have never out any limit on screen time and their dcs have never been rivetted to their screen.
But with my own dcs, I'm not convinced.

I set limits for my 15 yr old, he forgets the time otherwise. We discussed this before the purchase of the console, and he agreed to my terms.

In every other way he self regulates; homework is done (well) on the day he receives it, he has 2 small jobs which he always turns up to on time, and with a great attitude.

Once he's on FIFA though...

So a 12 year-old and a 13 year-old are going to be at home alone all through school holidays?

I'd turn the router off if I were you.

I am 43 and I do not have the self control to limit myself. I find myself plugged in for hours and then forget to make dinner!

I would like to know which adults watch 5 hours TV a day... who has time for that! If that is the average then some people are watching what 8 hours a day..... I guess them must be TV critics or something.

My children are slightly older (10 and 13). We have discussed what is a reasonable amount of screen time. They are not self-limiting, because when the screen is on, time drifts by at an alarming speed. But they do (grudgingly) respect the need to do something else when I remind them they have spent longer on the screen than we all think is reasonable.

It doesn't come naturally, but it's also not an arbitrary rule that I've imposed on them. We've discussed it. I think that would be more fruitful than just sitting it out until they decide for themselves that they've had enough.

I know for myself that I'm inclined to waste hours online. So I've got some "rules" in my mind. Like switching off at 9:30pm.

Night night

Flum my dcs were told in PSHE that if they were watching TV two or three hours a day, that was totally reasonnable. They were in Y4...
Compare to that, 1h30 on the tablet looks tame ....

Maybe my quesstion should be, how do adults regulate thier time on the internet?

Good God, just tell them there's a limit from now on and stop being such a wet blanket. If you can't do that, then do family activities that get them away from their devices.