To think I shouldn't bother even thinking about fostering.....

[Janeymoo50]

My girlfriend, soon to be spouse, I'm in a same sex relationship, and I have discussed fostering. She has a 31 year old daughter, I am childless (hate that word, but couldn't think of another). We both work full time (I would stop). Own own home (well, smallish mortgage so we could manage with one wage) live pretty comfortably (on current salaries). Have a double bedroom empty. But we are both in our early 50's. I just think we could help in some way...I'm a trained Nanny and my girlfriend works full time with young adults with learning difficulties with a particular focus on autism (she amazes me with some of the things she tells me she does). Have no idea where to start. I'm overweight....13 stone and 5ft 5 inches. I just keep thinking should we even try only to be rejected?

Go for it, we are also on the verge of going for it or at least enquiring into the process, I am also overweight but active and healthy, I am 45 DH 52 both about to have birthdays.

You should try. You sounds perfect. My mum recently started fostering- she is about to turn 60 and single. She has a large dog and lives in an old cottage with not very safe stairs. The process of being approved took around 18 months and she needed something like 10 references. I had to have a long telephone interview with a social worker about how she was as a parent - just to make you aware it can take a while.

The most important thing surely is a stable,loving home, your experience (you and your OH) , the ability and desire to help.

You would be able to offer maybe respite care? If a child/siblings has a parent in hospital maybe?

Your spouces work will stand you in good stead. Are you planning to be the main Foster Carer?

You do sound in awe of her , this could be a whole new life for you.

Make the enquiries (and post on Fostering Threads)

My mum is still fostering at 67. You won't regret it. :)

Contact New Family Social -national network of LGBT adopters and foster carers. Good luck!

Do it! Do it! Do it! You sound great. I don't know what the criteria might be but I can not see any good reason for you to be turned down.

I volunteer with looked after kids and hear all about what they do and don't like. One 15 year old girl has been so difficult to find a good placement for and is now with a 75 year old lady who's a lot more than 13 stone and doing an amazing job with her. SheMs so settled and happy.

50 is def not old, but it does maybe give you a bit more perspective and patience. With teenagers that is definitely a good thing. Pick your battles and all that.

But it sounds to me like you'd be great with lots of ages.

Just go for it.

Oh and update us if you can.

DS is adopted, and before he came to us was with a fantastic foster carer, who we are still in touch with. She is now in her late 60s, is single, lives in a modest house, and has a number of health issues, but is still fostering, specialising in difficult to place and high dependency babies, including babies born drug addicted. She is amazing, and I'm sure you would be too.

I foster. In my LA you would be one of the young ones!

I think fostering is a great thing to do. I couldn't do it. Dealing with your own stroppy kids when you get home from work is bad enough and I'd have to cut down on my hobbies.
I think you need a thick skin and to be able to be calm and consistent with them and not take it personally when they start giving out crap.
A good foster parent can make a huge difference to a child's life though.
If the only thing holding you back is fear of rejection I'd go for it.