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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel like taking their phones off them?

10 replies

unlucky83 · 17/10/2015 14:41

I was in a cafe with DC and friend.
There was what looked like three generations of the same family 6yo , mother (about 30) and grandmother.
Got my attention because the mother told the 6yo (rather sharply) to sit down and behave.
I watched them (out of the corner of my eye) for the rest of the time I was in there - so 30 mins or so. The mother and grandmother spent the whole time on their phones- not even talking to each other - let alone talking to the 6yo. The 6yo had obviously finished eating/drinking, had nothing to do but fidget. The only time the mother spoke to the DC again that I saw was to tell them to stay in their chair.
I think I felt it more because I used to (still do) take my DCs out for a grown up treat of 'coffee' and cake ...it is something they love and we have a good chat, they get full on attention. (Before I get pulled up on it my DC was happily talking with their friend - not being ignored). I used to get taken out by my grandmother for the same and it is one of my fondest memories.
This child is just going to remember being ignored and bored mindless

I know this is just a snapshot of their lives ...and I am being judgey but even so...AIBU to feel sorry for the DC? And to want to take their phones off them and jump up and down on them ?

OP posts:

GabiSolis · 17/10/2015 14:43

I get where you're coming from, but you said it yourself, this is just a snapshot of their lives and you are in no position to judge them based on it.

WorraLiberty · 17/10/2015 14:51

I agree about the snapshot in this case.

But I have to say that more and more I'm seeing children everywhere, being ignored while their parents are glued to mobile phones.

On the bus to and from work every day (school run time), I see the same parents glued to their phones, while their kids are trying to get their attention.

Sometimes I just want to scream, "Answer your child! They've been trying to get your attention for bloody ages!"

It's not nice to see.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 17/10/2015 14:51

I was like that at my inlaws the other day.

Mostly because I was bored out of my skull due to SiL being able to talk about nothing but her job. Fine for twenty minutes but an entire weekend?

I'm not usually that rude.

WorraLiberty · 17/10/2015 14:54

I think the strangest thing is seeing couples in restaurants, totally glued to their phones and ignoring each other.

I often wonder if they're the type to 'check in' on FB, upload a photo of their dinner and post about what a wonderfully romantic meal they're having

PosterEh · 17/10/2015 14:57

I take my DC to the cafe to bribe them with cake and have 5mins peace.

brokenhearted55a · 17/10/2015 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Artandco · 17/10/2015 15:41

We went to a cafe this morning for breakfast, Dh and I managed to talk to each other for the whole 90ish mins but virtually completely ignored kids who were more interested in their new colouring books and pancakes. Another day it would be a different scene you see, as you say it's just a snap shot.

Darkbehindthecurtain · 17/10/2015 16:03

Mine isn't interested in talking to me

I have to look at my phone or we sit in silence.

Original poster

unlucky83 · 17/10/2015 16:06

Broken I said that my DD and her friend were more than happily entertaining each other..chatting away and eating their cake...
If anything they were ignoring me ...
And art that is different as your DCs were entertained - this DC had nothing to do -just to sit and stare into space. I think the adults just weren't aware of what they were doing...
(And worse this is a child friendly cafe - there are colouring things and toys and books for DCs...so at least the DC would have had something to do.)

OP posts:

Topseyt · 17/10/2015 17:06

It happens the other way round for me when we are out for a meal. The DDs would be on their phones given half a chance, and I tell them to put said phones away rather than sit glued to them (they do, btw).

I think that the only time it isn't rude to be glued to a mobile phone in a cafe or restaurant is when I am there on my own, in peace, enjoying some "me" time. Otherwise, I put it away and so do my kids. We have family conversations. Occasionally the debate or conversation will throw up an interesting question and one or more of us will google it on our phones, but that then adds to things.

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