Innocent mistake or not?

[Lurkerandahusband]

This has being playing on my mind, would appreciate advice.

I recently started a new hobby. It's quite expensive but good value for the service I'm getting.

I had my second session a couple of days ago (so all quite new) and was rushing to get there. The hobby costs £40 per session but I got confused and thought it was £50. I definitely remember handing over £50 to the person leading the session; they counted it and put it away.

Later that night I was flicking through my emails and saw one from the week before, reminding everyone that the class was £40 (I paid this the week before so not sure why I forgot!).

I immediately let course leader know but they professed ignorance and said they would "let me off this time" and give me the tenner back next time... I know it's my fault for not having counted correctly in the first place but I feel it's pretty poor that they counted the money (definitely saw them do this) and just pocketed the difference. It's actually put me off continuing a bit.

"let you off" from what???!

YANBU. I would not like that response, either. In fact I think I would mention it on the next occasion I paid for the activity, saying something along the lines that I felt it was a slightly odd thing to say, what did it mean blah blah.

(Being very nice about it but letting them know I'm not going to take shit like that.)

Also it occurs to me it may have been a heavy-handed attempt at humour.... eg "It's my mistake but ho-ho, I'm blaming you. what a wag I am!"
Easier to spot face to face than electronically, of course.

Let you off for paying them too much money? That's a very strange response. Guilty conscience on their part?

Sorry I'm explaining this really badly.

I apologetically messages saying I thought I'd overpaid by 10 and if I had, could I just put that towards the next class.

They said they weren't paying attention when counting money (seems a bit strange) but that they would let me off ie give me the benefit of the doubt.

I thought it sounded defensive too!

Hmm they sound guilty as hell!!!

Thanks. I know it was my mistake and it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but it's made me feel a bit deflated.

That's a very ungracious response, they don't sound very nice.

Would it kill them to say something like -- oops, sorry, didn't notice the overpayment. It's their mistake if they weren't paying attention.

And they can surely check their accounts, ffs!

Lots of small things add up to a general feeling of crap though, especially as you say you're having a bad week. Even as far as to make you question if its you that is causing all of it, and that you're so shit that you're now being blamed for others mistakes. There is a chance I MAY be projecting sightly btw! I've been there, and that person saying that would make me feel deflated too.

What's your gut instinct when around them?

Hmmm gut feeling is a bit meh for want of a better word. I warmed to them a bit at the beginning but they can be quite unprofessional and get annoyed if students don't do things correctly the first time. They also don't explain things well. Think I'll go to the next session then quietly melt away! Will tell them I'm not continuing politely but not brave enough to say it to their face!!

Just feels a bit like they're on the take. We were sitting down together before session had started as they counted it and then put it in their wallet so it's like they were counting on me not bringing it up again?

Yeah, I'm with you and I haven't even met them!! They were probably counting (excuse the pun) on you not realising your mistake or maybe they thought it was a very generous tip??!
Either way, their response when you brought it up was not what I'd expect someone to have who was genuinely surprised. Seems like they were annoyed you'd realised you'd overpaid.

I think you should do what you suggested and phase it out, that is I you're not up for just telling them straight. Get that tenner back though! And don't be too hard on yourself - remember this reflects badly on them, not you

Some ridiculous responses.
They 'let you off' because you have no evidence you handed over £50 and you don't have a leg to stand on. I think it's quite good of them to give you the benefit of the doubt.
Even though someone looks at money and appears to be counting it doesn't mean they were paying attention. In fact, I think that's more likely they weren't paying attention than someone not knowing if they had to pay £40 or £50 for a class.

They give you the benefit of the doubt how about you do the same for them.

Fair point rdoo

I'm normally the first to suggest giving someone the benefit of the doubt and if I'd lost this money for good then so be it. But I work as a tutor in my spare time and have never yet mistakenly popped an extra tenner in my purse without letting the student know. It's my business (just as it is the course leader I'm talking about above) and I can guarantee that if I'd underpaid they would not have "not noticed" that!

I would never dream of taking this up with them and will consider it closed. Just a bit disillusioned - you know who you can tell that someone is actively counting out the money you give them? They always charge the same for all their classes, 20 or 40 so wouldn't 50 have seemed a bit odd?

when you can tell, that should read

Thanks everyone xxxxxx