Background is that Christmas has always, always been a bone of contention between me & DP's family. No one lives near anyone else, they want all the family back at theirs & I want to spend it in my own home. Added to this, my nuclear family are either dead or don't live in the country so being with his family at that time of year in particular can be more than a little painful for me. Normally we see them Christmas Eve, though I know they hate the fact that we don't travel Christmas Day so they can 'see DCs open their presents (from them)'. Anyway, DS3's birthday is Christmas Eve, last year (his first birthday) we went to their house & they said they'd do a buffet. What they actually did was Christmas day, roast, crackers & opening of presents in front of extended family, the full works. I was livid, it was DS3s 1st birthday & though he knew no different that year, I wanted it to be about his birthday feeling guilty enough that it's always going to be a crappy time to have a birthday! This year, 2 months before Christmas, the questions have started already - what are you doing for his birthday? When are we going to see you? They are a big, loud family & I tend to get completely bulldozed by them, when I raise my complaints I get accused of being too sensitive or BU, but I feel really resentful that once again, my DS3s birthday is going to be completely taken over by my inlaws. AIBR or am I being Scrooge?!