AIBU or is DH? Mobile phone / internet use

[ThePartyArtist]

DH has expressed concern at me using my phone for texting people / going on Facebook when we're in the house in the evening. He says I am on my phone / Facebook so much that I make him feel he's not worth talking to. I admit I do both these things more than he does (he doesn't even use FB and can go a couple of days without texting anyone, but I like to have loads of chats with people). I have told him that I feel when we're watching TV it's not really time 'together' anyway so I am not being rude to him. I don't use it when we're eating dinner together at the table, or very much if we're out together. He says he doesn't want to 'ban' me from using it, or see the messages, but just wanted to make me aware I may be 'addicted'. I am not sure how to proceed - don't want to ruin our time together / be rude to him / make him feel I'm disinterested... but also want time to chill, catch up on friends' chats etc.

Um I'm sort of watching TV while on MN. DH sitting next to me!
Can you agree to set aside some time together?

DH and I quite often sit in companionable silence on our phones. We are like you - eat dinner together with no phones and often we watch stuff together specifically, but we are both avid Pinterest/FB/instagram users.

Could it be that DH expects you to provide his entertainment?

I partly agree with him if you're on it all night. Can you not spend a few mins catching up on Facebook/texts and put it away?

He says I am on my phone / Facebook so much that I make him feel he's not worth talking to.

I think this is key. You may not feel your use is excessive, and maybe by many people's standards it isn't, but it is clearly enough to make him feel ignored. Might be worth thinking about how you can compromise. Its not about "providing your DH with his entertainment", it's just about give and take and finding what works for both of you.

How about you have an evening a week or at least some time each night where you switch of screens and spend time not watching the TV or going on the internet?

How much TV does he watch of an evening btw?

I'm currently on my tablet on here, my GF is sat playing Monster Buster on her tablet and we're watching Baby Faced Brides on Demand5. I don't think we've said a word to each other for about 30minutes.... Maybe I should check she's still breathing?

.

I poked her with a stick, she told me to fuck go away, she's fine.