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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

rude or am I too semsitive

17 replies

Chippychop · 15/10/2015 16:50

Next door neighbour and I are both going to the same mums night out meal tonight. Last week I suggested we both go together and we agreed to toss for who drives. Last night when I text to make arrangements she said she's been offered a lift by another mum - who hasn't offered to drive me even though she knows I'm going and where I live and maybe we should all go together.. I said fine but wondered if the other person would mind. Today she texts to day she's going with the other one (who can go a bit earlier than I can get away.) as the other one can't stay late. Not a word about an offer of a lift from the other one. I know it sounds petty but it hacks me off when people are just rude or discourteous. Makes me want to go on the sweary thead!

OP posts:

laffymeal · 15/10/2015 16:52

I'd be pissed off too. It's selfish and rude.

Backforthis · 15/10/2015 16:54

You're annoyed because you made someone ask for a lift on your behalf when you clearly weren't offered one and the driver said no. Yes, there was rudeness. Yours.

thebestfurchinchilla · 15/10/2015 16:54

Rude. Just remember next time to make your own plans!

thebestfurchinchilla · 15/10/2015 16:56

No back the neighbour had made plans to go with her then changed when she got a better offer. She is the rude one!

Backforthis · 15/10/2015 16:57

Oh, ignore me. I totally misunderstood. Your neighbour suggested the woman should give you a lift. You're not at all rude. Your neighbour has put herself in an awkward situation by offering a lift the driver didn't want to give.

Backforthis · 15/10/2015 16:58

I'm sure you're very polite.

thebestfurchinchilla · 15/10/2015 16:59

Read the OP again. If someone makes a plan then changes it and doesn't include you in the new plan, I think that would generally be considered rude.

Original poster

Chippychop · 15/10/2015 17:00

Usually but not at the moment! Wish I hadn't offered to help her refill her kitchen after having a new one fitted!

OP posts:

RiverTam · 15/10/2015 17:08

That's pretty rude. Though I would have just shared a cab so no-one had to drive.

PingpongDingDong · 15/10/2015 17:10

Very rude! I would be pissed off too.

Original poster

Chippychop · 15/10/2015 17:12

Sadly "river" we live in the country so it make sense for one of us to drive

OP posts:

GruntledOne · 15/10/2015 17:28

Isn't the issue that you can't leave as early as the other two want to? In which case they aren't being rude, it's just how it is.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 15/10/2015 17:29

I can't really see an issue with this tbh. The other driver wants to get there early and leave early, and that also suits your neighbour. You are not able to fit in with her timing, so couldn't get a lift with her anyway. All you've lost is a 50/50 chance of not driving.

laffymeal · 15/10/2015 17:31

But the OP wasn't even offered the chance of a lift and the person she was originally supposed to be going with just dumped her in favour of this other person.

The early/late thing is irrelevant, they just sound a bit horrible tbh. I'd be reconsidering even going OP.

ConstanceMarkYaBitch · 15/10/2015 19:09

Well, if she is leaving earlier than they know you can go, how is it rude not to invite you to share a lift that you can't in fact share?

green18 · 15/10/2015 19:46

Because the neighbour had previously said they would go together but has now dumped her.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 15/10/2015 20:14

I guess it depends on whether you think the dinner is a social occasion and the journey there is simply incidental and relatively unimportant, or whether you think the journey is also an important social occasion. Both points of view are equally valid IMO, but if you think that you have entered a binding social contract with your neighbour and she thinks it was no more than one of a few possible outcomes, and not very important anyway, then you are not unreasonable to feel offended and she is not unreasonable to be unaware that it was even possible to offend someone over an issue like this.

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