To respond yes dear...

5 replies

DaimYou · 14/10/2015 17:07

every time a colleague calls me love.

I'm about 20 years younger than him and he's approaching retirement. We're technically the same grade, but I have a more managerial role, his grade is due to his practical skills. I'm new there and am tasked with "sorting him out" as he's been known for being difficult and obstructive for a decade or more. However, I'm not his line manager.

I am winning and have had a number of small successes but whenever he thinks I'm being unreasonable he'll say something like "take it from me, love" or "I'm telling you love".

It's not an old man who calls everyone love, although he does, this is definitely being used to put me in my place.

It's quite amusing when you see what he's doing but OTOH.....

OP posts:

AnnaMarlowe · 14/10/2015 17:20

I had this recently. I just said, politely but firmly, "don't call me love, it's inappropriate in a professional context".

As you might expect there was some bluster.

I still had quite a bit of 'take it from me' and 'in my long years of experience' and my favourite 'if you'd been doing this as long as me..'

He was poorly performing. He was difficult. He didn't follow procedure.

It would kill him to know that I was the one who made the phone call to HR terminating his contract.

OurBlanche · 14/10/2015 17:21

"I'm telling you love"
Response: No, you are suggesting..."

"take it from me, love"
Response: "I beg your pardon"

Just collect a few responses that you are comfortable with. If he ever comments, or complains, just say that you thought he must have forgotten where he was/who he was talking to, that you are not his wife, you are his colleague, a fellow professional.

You never know, he might take the hint

Original poster

DaimYou · 14/10/2015 17:23

He calls the head teacher love nd has done for 15 years, despite her asking him not to, so I really don't think me asking him will make a difference. I'm not his boss (she is) so whilst I've been asked to manage his workload, I don't actually have any power IYSWIM

OP posts:

AnnaMarlowe · 14/10/2015 18:57

It's all about the tone. Call him in it politely everytime.

He'll get bored eventually.

OurBlanche · 15/10/2015 09:10

Ye gods! He has the brassiest of brass necks!!

Just have fun with him, then. Respond with daftness

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