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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't think iabu. Most rediculous mother I've ever met!

31 replies

MsMarthaMay · 14/10/2015 11:26

This is so rediculous I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't heard it directly from the woman!

Our children are in year 1 so age 5/6. There is a little boy also in year 1 who can be a bit challenging at times but he's in foster care and so god knows what the poor boy has experienced in his life.

This boy poked the woman's dc in the cheek with a pencil. I 100% know this is unacceptable and the boys behaviour needs addressing but the mother reported him to the police! She actually phoned the police and demand they spoke to the boy!!

The police of course told her they wouldn't do anything and so now this mother is telling anyone in the playground who will listen that this boy is bad and its only a matter of time before he really does get in trouble with the police!!

I've been a parent for 15 years and dont think iabu in saying this is the most rediculous thing I've ever heard!

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/10/2015 11:28

Completely ridiculous and over the top. Are you sure there haven't been other incidents with the boy and the school haven't done anything about it? That is the only reason why I could maybe understand what she did.

Original poster
MsMarthaMay · 14/10/2015 11:32

No other incidents with her dd but he's pushed mine over once. School are really on top of it though.

OP posts:
Maudofallhopefulness · 14/10/2015 11:32

Yanbu. She should be done for wasting police time.

Original poster
MsMarthaMay · 14/10/2015 11:33

Also, The mother has been making such a fuss in the playground if there had been other incidents in sure she'd have mentioned it.

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/10/2015 11:34

She's just a trouble maker then. Nasty as well.

schokolade · 14/10/2015 11:36

I'd just stay as far away from the ridiculous drama as possible. She'll probably move onto others soon, at least you have the measure of her.

Welshmaenad · 14/10/2015 11:37

Utter twat. Poor boy. I'm not excusing his behaviour as such, but who knows what trauma he's suffered?

TurnOffTheTv · 14/10/2015 11:38

Surely the other parents in the playground will know how ridiculous she is being.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 14/10/2015 11:40

I'd make sure the headteacher is aware of her mischiefmaking in the playground. Really not on to drag this poor lad's name through the mud. As you say, we can only guess what he's had going on in his life to end up in local authority care.

Original poster
MsMarthaMay · 14/10/2015 11:42

All the parents think she is unreasonable afaik. She's trying to label this boy as bad. She has no compassion at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
MsMarthaMay · 14/10/2015 11:44

The school are aware of the report to the police. I might mentioned the playground gossiping though.

OP posts:
Littleoddfeet · 14/10/2015 11:45

Absolutely ridiculous!! This makes me so cross. At 5/6 few children are perfect and many will have such 'misdemeanours' from time to time. Unless they are doing such things on a regular basis, it's just kids being kids!

My little boy went through a stage at Nursery where he was hitting / smacking others - it was horrendous and so stressful!!! Most parents were sensible and let it go but there is always the odd twatty mother who loves to turn it into a drama, of course their precious DC have never done anything wrong!!

Ignore the silly cow!

Kitsandkids · 14/10/2015 11:50

I am a foster parent of 2 children and last year, in Year 1, my youngest did hurt a number of other children. I obviously never condoned it , and I was totally willing to work with the school to prevent it etc, but I would have been mortified if the police had ever been called!

Can you befriend the foster carer? I did feel quite isolated when I took my boys to and from school last year, as there was only one mother who spoke to me. I did used to worry, as the teacher brought my little one over to me to tell me his bad behaviour, that the other mothers were watching and judging me and him, so it would have been nice to have a few friendly ones amongst them.

They're staying with me long term and so we moved them to our local school and they and I have made friends and are all so much happier! His bad behaviour has dramatically decreased as well, thank goodness!

It is very common for children in care to be aggressive. They might have seen aggression themselves, been subject to it, or just never had an attentive adult teaching them as a young toddler that hitting etc is not acceptable. That doesn't mean they should be allowed to get away with hurting others when they're in care, but I do think adults need to try and be a little more understanding towards them.

ExitPursuedByABear · 14/10/2015 11:57

Yes I agree. It is ridiculous.

Totally ridiculous.

In fact the most ridiculous thing I have read in the last hour.

DartmoorDoughnut · 14/10/2015 11:58

What a bitch she is!

coffeeisnectar · 14/10/2015 12:26

I'd talk to the school to let them know what this woman is saying. She sounds like a right bitch picking on a child.

I'd also make a point of talking to your child about why this boy might act out and see if they'd be happy if he me over for tea. Poor boy has obviously had to deal with an awful lot.

One of my dds friends is in the care of her gps because ss deemed life with her mum as unsuitable. The girl has issues and displays challenging behaviour at times but dd has a bond with her and she comes over here to play. She comes out with things which utterly break my heart at times, I always let her gran know what she's said but I never pass it on to anyone else. She's a little lost soul.

ChipInTheSugar · 14/10/2015 12:28

Print this off and staple it to her forehead!

"Thinking of a child behaving badly disposes you to think of punishment.

Thinking of a child as struggling to handle something difficult encourages you to help them through their distress."

I have a child with me who was in foster care 6 years ago, and had a chaotic environment for their first few months - we are still learning what possible damage it has done to their earliest brain connections etc and coping with the ramifications. People like the woman you are talking about piss me off.

Lonecatwithkitten · 14/10/2015 12:35

I can go one better, when DD was in year 1 some of the girls played an ill advised game with a skipping rope and it was around someone's neck ( ponies reins that kind of thing) staff intervened no harm was done.
Mother of the child whose neck was surrounded by skipping rope reported child holding skipping rope/reins to police for attempted murder!! And then branded this child as evil, demon child.

RoseWithoutAThorn · 14/10/2015 12:35

Ask to see the HT. I had a similar situation last year with a mother. She had an issue with another child in the class who had SEN. She never looked at me in the eye again after that meeting vile creature that she was.

ServingSuggestion · 14/10/2015 12:48

Ridiculous.

LittleLionMansMummy · 14/10/2015 12:50

The thing is op that this could be either one of my nephews (6 and 8), and I know full well what they've been through as they were only taken out of foster care and placed permanently with my dsis 18 months ago. They've come such a long way but are still so extremely vulnerable mentally and emotionally. I would hate for anyone to write them off and in fact dh and I had a conversation recently about how hard schools must be working with disturbed children from unsettled backgrounds. The woman is a bitch. The boy is 6 ffs and while behaviour needs addressing, it sounds like a complicated situation for both the child and the school. Anyone with a modicum of empathy would understand this.

Ohfourfoxache · 14/10/2015 12:59

Fucking hell, utterly ridiculous

Poor kid Sad

herderofcats · 14/10/2015 13:03

Anyone with a modicum of empathy would realise that the 'bitch' (lovely) was frightened for her own child's safety.

I'm actually quite horrified by the level of vitriol here.

WeAllHaveWings · 14/10/2015 13:05

You are only be unreasonable if you didn't tell her she was overreacting when she told you.

If all the parents explain kindly to her she is being unreasonable to her face she'll quieten down soon enough.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 14/10/2015 13:05

" Anyone with a modicum of empathy would realise that the 'bitch' (lovely) was frightened for her own child's safety."

because a boy poked him in the cheek with a pencil? oh please!