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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that I've never been invited to a wedding?

56 replies

Weddingwoe · 13/10/2015 23:47

I am 26 and I have never been to a wedding in my life. It may seem daft, but I find it quite upsetting for a few reasons. Whenever I see threads on MN about weddings I always feel a bit wistful. When I see photos on facebook etc, everyone there always looks like they're having an absolute ball, including all the guests. No wedding is on the horizon for me as I'm single. I would love to just be a guest at someone else's. It feels weird to have never been to one at this age. Are they really as amazing as I'm imagining them to be?

OP posts:
Horsemad · 14/10/2015 08:21

You haven't missed much OP.

Weddings are an expensive faff, imo. The last one I attended cost an absolute fortune, and the combined age of the B&G was 140! I'd much rather have stayed at home and spent the money it cost us on something more enjoyable.

Oysterbabe · 14/10/2015 08:22

You're young, you will go to some.
You usually can't move for weddings in your early 30s.
I love weddings Grin

Gottagetmoving · 14/10/2015 08:32

I have been to lots of weddings and enjoyed maybe two of them.
I dread being invited to any now because its a pain trying to sort out something to wear and its a lot of expense.
It cost us a fortune to go to the last one and it was all a rush.
I don't think they are ever as good as anticipated.

roundtable · 14/10/2015 08:50

Yanbu op

I love weddings, love them. Even the 'awful' ones I have fun. Even the year I had 7 in one year. Everyone I know in rl finds weddings great fun too.

However, I never went to weddings as a child, my first weddings were my siblings then nothing bar one friend until I hit about 27. Then wedding season started. It's died down now though.

So you're probably not in the wedding 'zone' yet but I understand wanting to go to one.

You'll have to update when you go to one and tell us if it lived up to your expectations. Grin

DeepBlueLake · 14/10/2015 09:50

I do love weddings even the tacky ones or the ones 200 miles away but I am always up for a good party an am a soppy romantic.

Don't worry OP your only 26, at that age I only had been to a handful as well, most of them were friends of DH who is slightly older than me or family members from when I was a kid / teen. Wait another 2-5 years and you will be drowning in them Grin Give it another 15 and then there will be the remarriages..

I was one of the first in my circle to get married when I was 28 almost 5 years ago.

I have been bridesmaid twice and maid of honour once. Tbh most people are only BM / MOH a couple of times anyway for close friends. And it's overrated, you have to sort out a bride full of stress, deal with the drunk guests, make sure certain family members avoid each other etc, I much prefer being a guest.

MaxPepsi · 14/10/2015 10:59

Think I must be an exception to the rule.

I've been a bridesmaid 7 times. Been to over 50 day do weddings, think I've had at least one wedding a year since about the age of 18 and I'm 40 now.

I've been to 3 overseas weddings, none of whom were family. Several have included overnight stays. All have involved taxi's and new outfits.

I love a wedding, full day or just an evening invite!

Junosmum · 14/10/2015 11:06

At 26 I'd only been to one wedding as an adult. Then we had a flurry of friends get engaged and attended around 3 a year until this year when they've started. To fall off again. I'm glad to be honest, weddings are expensive to attend and depending on how well you know people can be really boring!

CurlyBlueberry · 14/10/2015 13:32

I am 27, I've only been to two weddings as an adult. One for the mother of my best friend, it was a teeny wedding. And one for my husband's cousin. (Oh and my own wedding obviously.) My BIL is three years older and he and his fiance have only just started to get invited to loads of weddings. I think there tends to be a flurry in your late twenties/early thirties depending on your cohort of friends/family!

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 14/10/2015 13:39

You're joking, right?

You have to sit through a ceremony you can't fecking hear, stand around for hours in either a heatwave or a blizzard while photos are being taken, they starve you and charge you for a drink.

YABU. Weddings are not a pleasant event. I'd rather accompany someone to hospital for surgery. At least there's chairs, a vending machine and you can wear comfy clothes.

HackerFucker22 · 14/10/2015 13:45

I'm a decade older than you OP and I've been to a handful of weddings. Only 2 actual ceremonies though, and maybe 4 evening do's including the evening do for the aforementioned 2 weddings!!

It doesn't bother me in the slightest. One of the weddings I went to was a real drag - out of area so involved an overnight stay, was a long church service and very formal so required an expensive outfit. The other wedding was much more up my street - registry office and piss up after!

Londonista123 · 14/10/2015 14:03

OP, I'm 29. Had never been to a wedding until last year, and then it all kicked off -

Cousin (overseas, so £)
Friend 1
Friend 2 (I got to be a witness Grin)
Friend 3 (Overseas, tomorrow! Flying out tonight, more £. DP is best man)

Friend 4 has sent out "save the dates" for next May.

DP has now proposed, so I guess I need to add us to that list Grin

I should add, DP and I are not social butterflies / very small circle of friends. Wedding creep will reach you shortly, don't worry.

The fun-ness of the event varies but I have high hopes for the one tomorrow: two-day event, in Moscow (current temps: 0 - -5), with obligatory photoshoot for all guests at the major war memorials in the city, followed by a party with an "animator"/organiser and traditional "kidnapping the bride" activities Hmm

Have never met the bride before. Don't speak more than 10 words of Russian. #help

onecurrantbun1 · 14/10/2015 14:30

I'm 27 and have been to quite a few over the last 5 years. They have nearly all been lovely because they've been close friends. However, we live somewhere cheap so people seem to get married younger (as you can buy a house for less so can live together earlier) and my husband is 31 - lots of them have been originally "his" friends although after so long together we have inevitably become close too.

Our wedding was the first that any of our friends - or me, just turned 21 - had been to as adults; there was then about 3 years of nothing and now they're flooding in!

26 is still pretty young - I agree with PPs

LumelaMme · 14/10/2015 15:11

PPs are right, weddings go in cycles - loads in your late 20s/early 30s, and only a few either side of that.

We actually went to a friend's wedding when on honeymoon - that was the year of about 7 weddings: I was a bit sick of them by the end of the year. Prior to that weddings season kicking off, I'd only been to a handful of weddings, mostly family ones.

I'm late 40s now and have only to been to 2 weddings in the last decade.

momb · 14/10/2015 15:18

I went through a flurry of weddings in my late 20s then very little until a couple of years ago when we got invited to everyone's children's weddings. Invited to over 20 in one year, accepted and attended about 13 of them. Can't remember one from another really of the ones where we were duty invitees and didn't know the couple well, and yet remember the ones from when I was younger clearly because they were close to us.

I think I'm saying that it's only the weddings of those you love that you'll really enjoy so unless you have missed some of those don't worry. Everyone is leaving it later these days. You have plenty of time to attend or participate in weddings of the future!

Dowser · 14/10/2015 15:24

I was feeling quite badly done to. I've only been to three weddings in over seven years and one was my own!

Did go to quite a few in my twenties but they've definitely petered out now.

Leelu6 · 14/10/2015 16:13

YANBU. I haven't been invited to many weddings and always get sad when I hear about a wedding of an acquaintance I haven't been invited to.

But then again, I haven't enjoyed the ones I have been to (including my own).

Troubletutmill · 14/10/2015 17:01

Im in my forties and have attended at least 35 weddings including two in America. The invites were very few until I hit 30. They are slowing down now though.

MrsTedCrilly · 14/10/2015 17:08

I feel like this sometimes when I see people at weddings on fb all the time. I've been to 2 in my whole life! (I'm 30) I have friends and know a lot of people, but think I'm more on the periphery of the people who have gotten married so far. Someone I know seems to be at a wedding every month!

DawnOfTheDoggers · 14/10/2015 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMook · 14/10/2015 17:40

I love weddings. The closer the person, the better they are. I've only been to one of the type of lengthy service, eternal hanging around while the couple disappear for photos type that MNers love to whinge about, but that was Dh's extended family so I didn't know the couple. It was still worth going to meet family members as it was the first big occasion in years to pull them together.

I've had a 7 or 8 year phase of 1, 2 or 3 a year in my late 20s/ early 30s, but it's all died off now. None for a couple of years or on the horizon as everyone is either married, or recently single.

You will get your chance!

Hygellig · 14/10/2015 18:02

At 26 I'd only been to one wedding as an adult, that of a university friend. It was a lovely small low-budget wedding.

I've since been to my own and to three of DH's cousins. The cousin ones were a bit boring as I hardly knew them. I used to feel a bit down when colleagues would talk about going to all their university friends' weddings as they always seemed tonhave such a big circle of friends. The relatively small number of friends I'm close enough to to be invited to a wedding are either single or long-term cohabiting.

CactusAnnie · 14/10/2015 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grilledaubergines · 14/10/2015 22:46

I'm over 40 and have only been to 3. Which suits me fine as they're not something I enjoy at all. To be fair they were all very formal bridzilla affairs so the whole day felt unnatural and forced. You're not missing much but I get it would be nice for you to experience the joy hell

Dontunderstand01 · 15/10/2015 06:24

Maxi I am the same- 32 yrs old and been to loads... although OP most of them have taken place in the last 5 years. Last year I went to 4, this year I am only going to one.
There is considerable expense as everyone has stated- hotels, drinks, gifts, outfits... making polite conversation with random uncles and watching the black sheep of the family get drunk/bitch... it's not all roses!

Savagebeauty · 15/10/2015 06:49

,cactusannie yes!!!!!
You have summed it up perfectly.
As soon as I got the "save the date" card which was Disney princess themed from my niece, I immediately made sure I was doing something else that day. Unbelievably naff.

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