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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A playpen as a Christmas present???

50 replies

lurkinginthenorth · 13/10/2015 22:13

MIL bought a playpen for our DD a few months ago when she was a newborn. We intend to use it in an area of our house to keep her safe when we're in that particular room. MIL bought this as a Christmas present. At the time, I wondered who it was for - 'us' her parents or DD.

Fast forward a few months and MIL has asked for a list for DS (a list of presents she can choose from as she doesn't understand/know what to buy for him and also to stop us all duplicating!) I said I would and asked if she had finished DD's shopping as I had (all 3 presents!) She said she thinks so as she has a doll for her and the playpen!

It did make me think WTF? A playpen as a Christmas present??? it's a fucking 'baby jail' intended to keep her safe from harm not a friggin' toy that she'll get excited about. Still, whoever it is intended for, I am very grateful for it!!

MIL is a bit notorious for presents. She is very thoughtful in her own way and buys us many gifts. but the wrapped gifts are things such as: a packet of clothes pegs, batteries, tea towels, a shower cap, socks (fair enough, most people get those!), but clothes pegs?!?!?!?

AIBU for thinking a playpen isn't really a present for a baby? (More like a gift for us to contain the whirlwind that we have produced).

For what it is worth, 'we' as in me and DH aren't actually bothered about receiving presents but it does make me chuckle about the clothes pegs! I did use them by the way!

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 13/10/2015 22:16

I don't think your baby will care - yabu and a bit ungrateful

Junosmum · 13/10/2015 22:16

Meh, she's a baby. She'll be more excited about the wrapping paper. I expect to get practical gifts for my baby at Christmas, with the odd toy.

Pobspits · 13/10/2015 22:17

Who cares? She's a baby

BYOSnowman · 13/10/2015 22:19

She's giving her a doll. Mil sounds fine and you sound like you are trying to find issues!

GloGirl · 13/10/2015 22:20

Yabu unless you didn't want or ask for the playpen and don't intend to use it?

It's a sizeable amount of money and more than my parents spent on either if my DC for their first Christmas'. Really they just want a biscuit and a bottle or 5 of milk at that age.

BestZebbie · 13/10/2015 22:24

I understand what you mean about a playpen being a baby jail rather than a 'nice' thing for your baby - like getting a Hoover for Christmas, only worse as it actually physically imprisons you.

But YABU because the baby has no concept of this and will not be at all harmed or offended at this age.

Justmyluck1 · 13/10/2015 22:25

God We love our dils and thankfully they love us too.

We are all pretty crap at present buying but we are family who love each other and that's what matters.

Op I feel sorry for you and your mil.

What a sad post.

MargaretCabbage · 13/10/2015 22:26

YABU. Playpens are not cheap and are really useful, and it sounds like you were intending to use one anyway. My son loves playing in baby jail!

I think she sounds thoughtful. I don't think your child will care about presents at this age.

We are planning on using any money DS gets for Christmas to buy him a fancy new car seat.

Justmyluck1 · 13/10/2015 22:28

And baby jail really? Don't be so utterly hysterical.

TeamBacon · 13/10/2015 22:28

Wow. What's wrong with you?

Runningupthathill82 · 13/10/2015 22:35

YAB massively U. Your DD is a few months old?
She's not going to have any idea what a Christmas present is. And a playpen is a really useful, quite expensive, thing to have - far more useful than another toy your DD won't play with yet.
I feel sorry for your in laws. And how horribly presumptuous to ask if she's finished shopping for your DD yet - especially in bloody October!

Cloppysow · 13/10/2015 22:37

Em...i think a playpen is a shit present for a kid too. Right enough, she won't know, but it's still a shit present for a kid.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/10/2015 22:38

She's getting a doll. yabu.

Original poster
lurkinginthenorth · 13/10/2015 22:39

BYOSnowman - probably! I live with the woman!!!

Margaretcabbage - yep! I was intending hence why it was bought. But didn't expect it as a Christmas present, especially as she will be needing it beforehand and I am reluctant to opening it but I have asked and it's fine.

ghostyslovesleep Quote: It did make me think WTF? A playpen as a Christmas present??? it's a fucking 'baby jail' intended to keep her safe from harm not a friggin' toy that she'll get excited about. Still, whoever it is intended for, I am very grateful for it!!

But again, for the third time, I am grateful for it but like Bestzebbie said, I bet most people would raise an eyebrow at the thought of getting a hoover as a Christmas present.

Justmyluck1 hysterical? I think you're hysterical at the over reaction to the term baby jail. I think you're sitting on your sense of humour. It's somewhere firmly wedged up the crack of your arse!

Okie Dokie! So the consenus is that I am 'Wow, bitch? Cow? Ungrateful little fucker? Get the picture, will move on to 'pastures' new. Night night!

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 13/10/2015 22:40

You've got a bloody nerve; enquiring had she "finished" her shopping for your baby dd...

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/10/2015 22:41

Fastest flounce ever.

YouMakeMyDreams · 13/10/2015 22:41

My brother bought ds2 a car seat for his 1st birthday. Personally I was delighted. I have 3dc and I can hardly remember some of the 'stuff' they got given as presents and not because I wasn't delighted to be given the gifts at the time. What I do remember is the bag of shopping from Sainsburys when ds2 was born. The umbrella fold stroller exfil bought for dd's first Christmas and of course the car seat.

sooperdooper · 13/10/2015 22:43

Maybe she's not buying anything else because you asked if she'd finished Christmas shopping in October Confused

Original poster
lurkinginthenorth · 13/10/2015 22:45

Youmakemydreams - good point!

PaulAnkathedog Probably, in your opinion but unlike many MNetters I read, take on board and don't need 200+ posters telling me the same thing. A few people said I was being unreasonable and yes, taken on board. I am a cow. ut for what it's worth, the 'asking if she has finished' was in response to "I'm not sure what to do about DGD's Christmas" because I knew she had started thinking about before the mite was born and a couple of people had duplicated a few toys - one of which was given to charity and not sold on ebay to make a few pennies.

But I am going to bed now! I have a whirlwind and early morning starts aren't my forte!

OP posts:
GloGirl · 13/10/2015 22:46

She's getting a doll for a toy and the rest of her present budget put towards something practical for her. I'd be delighted if anyone got me a hoover.

Original poster
lurkinginthenorth · 13/10/2015 22:48

sooperdooper just seen your post as I was about to click off. She still is buying! The woman can't stop! Hence why I said I would give her a list for DS but I have so as not to be flamed by the playpen police explicitedly told her NOT to go buying everything and to let me know so she doesn't waste her damned money!

Someone mentioned 'they feel sorry for my in laws' and said I was being presumptuous - er, you are being presumptuous for expecting it to be 'in laws'. My FIL is dead. Hence why MIL lives with us. But that's a side point.

Definitely good night!

OP posts:
Duck90 · 13/10/2015 23:01

Lurking - are you okay? You asked if you were being unreasonable, so those who think so will say you are! I don't think people Are saying you are an awful person.

Bakeoffcake · 13/10/2015 23:03

"MIL lives with us" you deserve a medalFlowers no wonder you're going a bit loopy over a playpenGrin

I get in very well with my MIL but there's not a chance in hell I'd live with her.

Bakeoffcake · 13/10/2015 23:04

On

milkmilklemonade12 · 13/10/2015 23:10

Is there something else bothering you? You said your MIL lives with you; I imagine that gets a bit claustrophobic sometimes. How is it working out?

I'm not attempting to patronise, I just think you're a bit worked up about a playpen, that's all. Maybe it's something you'd shrug off if you weren't living with her though Wink