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Original poster

to be horrified that people may know I've viewed their Facebook page?

348 replies

icouldjusteatacroissant · 12/10/2015 14:05

Facebook deny it, but there's massive talk on the net that if you look at someone's page, you pop up on their suggested list or people you may know list. Maybe not straight away, but you do appear at some point

Am I the only one who looks at their ex's or whoevers pages, photos, etc?

I am horrified they may know I've been snooping Shock

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/10/2015 12:58

no explanation as to why these randomers pop up in my 'people you may know box
It is because of (often tenuous) connections you share. Eg they may be in the same group as a friend if a friend if a friend of someone in one of your groups. Or you both know someone who went to a particular school. There are myriad possibilities.

If I've searched for people and they see my name in their 'people you may know' list then [shrug] so be it.
If you have searched for someone you must know them from somewhere. FB can use these same connections.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/10/2015 13:02

that's easy to explain though! You read it on here

So now imagine FBs computers.They know who your friends are. They know every post you have liked, every post you have commented on. They know what groups you are in and with who. They know what apps you have linked to FB, and what sites you sign into FB with. They know everything you have shared. They know every list and picture you have been tagged in. They have read every post you have ever made. They have done the same with everybody you know, and everybody you don't. Off course they can make connections - often they get it wrong, hence all the randomers you have never heard of being suggested. Sometimes they get it spookily right.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/10/2015 13:03

And has already been said, it would be a very bad idea for them to suggest people who have searched for you. People mainly use FB to snoop on people anonymously. If this were not anonymous it would come out, and FB would lose an awful lot of money.

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:06

This is the sticking point. You assume that there are connections that I don't know about. As I said earlier, I do understand the network science aspect. These aren't people I'm connected to. But even if I were connected to them in some way that I didn't know about, it is a coincidence that they pop up shortly after I've sent them a letter with my name at the end of it. My town is quite big. It is possible to have no connection to somebody. And then suddenly, days after them meeting you, they pop up. They may have met me at work, but that doesn't make us friends, or share a mutual friend or exchange email addresses or phone numbers or check in or join fb groups.

My sur name is the same as a famous person from my area.

Anyway, if you don't believe it, I won't push water uphill any more.

The second point, I wasn't saying that I had searched for these people first. I was saying to constance that I'm not paranoid. A ridiculous accusation but I defended myself against it by explaining that IF I search for somebody and if I turn up in their people you many know list, I'll live with it. It's not going to make me hysterical!!

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:08

itsallgoingtobefine they would certainly want to keep that quiet.

Shetland · 13/10/2015 13:11

I've had 2 people pop up in my people you know recently and in both cases the only contact I've had with them is via text which I find I bit creepy tbh I didn't know either of them were even on FB until that happened - I certainly hadn't been 'snooping'
If someone assumed that that was the reason for me appearing in their people you may know list I'd think they had an inflated sense of self tbh.

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:12

it's allgoingtobefine yes, I hear you wrt to the posts liked, i understand that a lot of data can be compiled without people really thinking about it, but I GET that, I'm not unaware of this. It's not a surprise to me. When younger brothers of people I used to work with crop up, I can accept that, there is a connection of sorts.

But these people aren't friends of friends. Or siblings of friends' colleagues. They are absolute strangers. I think this is the part that I'm failing to communicate here. And not because I'm not expressing it. Because this part just won't be heard. They are strangers. They have no connection to me, tenuous or otherwise. They're people who basically walk in off the street, raise an issue. I send a letter then to clarify that the issue will be looked in to, reviewed, whatever.......... and then a few days later they crop up in my 'people you may know'.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/10/2015 13:16

They may have met me at work, but that doesn't make us friends, or share a mutual friend or exchange email addresses or phone numbers or check in or join fb groups.

So they met you at work. Same location, same time. Presumably either same company, or common area of business interest? It is also very possible that you know some of the same people. Live in similar areas? Share similar interests (as you have some work commonality). ?

ThatsDissapointing · 13/10/2015 13:16

This is a bit like woo stuff. Don't you think if it was true someone would have hard (not anecdotal) evidence by now.

It wouldn't be hard for someone to test it one way or another.

... however, I am still paranoid and refuse to have a Facebook account as I don't like their invasive privacy policy and I can't be doing with all the FB crap

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:20

it'sallgoingtobefine no, sorry, they met me ONCE. They didn't use our computers. You're still assuming that there's something I've overlooked. SOmething I don't understand.

I can't convince you that you're wrong, so I give up.

But clearly, facebook would have no need to change the algorithm. Even when somebody in a job like mine has daily evidence that strangers search for her and speaks out, it's written off by people who just assume they KNOW better.

I can't convince you that these people are walk-bys, strangers, once-offs. Not colleagues. They live in or around my big town, which is a connection but the suggestion that I may know them comes after they've received a letter from me. On headed paper.

Everybody who is challenging me assumes that I don't understand!!! That I must have accidentally checked in to my work and so must they have. or that I must have accidentally swapped numbers with them or emailed them or joined the same group. I really cannot go on saying all day here that that isn't the case.

So, if you don't believe it, won't believe it, so be it!

Brew
leedy · 13/10/2015 13:28

I'm not sure why so many people are refusing to believe Constance and assuming she is "bullshitting"/"drunk the koolaid" because she won't/can't prove in easily user-understandable terms that FB isn't using this data in a particular way.

As someone who works in a related field a) there is NO WAY we would be allowed to discuss the low level details of an algorithm like that in public and b) a lot of it does look like it is powered by magic elves once it's all up and running. Also often the most intuitive explanation ("It must be true! This happened to me so it totally proves how it works! It's evidence!") is completely wrong.

mewkins · 13/10/2015 13:29

No, it's not true..facebook used to ask whether you wanted it to search your email and phonebook for suggested friends but I suspect it now just does it. Also it has got cleverer in targeting people in recent years (I use facebook ads for marketing) and it knows lots about everyone. I get plenty of friend suggestions for people in my local area who I have never heard of but are local to me.

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:30

Well, I don't believe that she knows. It's not that I believe she is ''bullshitting''. I think it's clear why I believe what I see before my own eyes over Constance's naive belief that she knows how the algorithm works.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/10/2015 13:32

Everybody who is challenging me assumes that I don't understand!!! That I must have accidentally checked in to my work and so must they have. or that I must have accidentally swapped numbers with them or emailed them or joined the same group. I really cannot go on saying all day here that that isn't the case.

Not saying that at all. They are really obvious links (which I'm sure FB uses as well). The whole point is that data mining uses much more subtle techniques as well. They live in the same town as you - this is one of the obvious links. You say they come to you with issues which you help them with.

Let's say they are having problems with their benefits and that you work for the CAB.

You both like the CAB FB page.
You both share articles about benefit cuts.
You both like posts stating that Osborne is an arse.
You have previously helped one of their family members.
They are in groups against benefit cuts.
You are in groups helping people with benefits.
Many of the group members overlap.
Their best friends aunties cousin is FB friends with one of your FB aquaintance's friends brother.
You both log it to MN with FB.
You both play some shitty FB game.
You went to the same school as their sister.

So many possibilities, so many links.

And of course FB get it wrong often - how many of your "People you may Know" are complete randomers that you have never heard of/don't recognise...

VicWillia · 13/10/2015 13:32

I actually believe it is true. My ex landlord came up as a possible friend even though we had no friends in common. I assumed it was because she was snooping at me.

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:33

i'm going to send you a pm it'sallgoingtobefine

TeaPleaseLouise · 13/10/2015 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 13/10/2015 13:36

Emails, phone numbers, webpages you've looked at.

I searched for local gardeners and called/emailed a couple to come out and quote - next time I logged on both appeared in 'people you may know'.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/10/2015 13:38

I just checked my "People you may Know" - I have 170 suggestions - I know who 10 of them are...

Garrick · 13/10/2015 13:40

Still catching up but ... people who have merely cycled past me made me laugh out loud. Clever old Facebook, eh? It really is psychic Grin

On a less paranormal note: if they have cycled past you - wearing a truthful name badge, so you know who they are - they have something in common with you. A location and, depending on where/when this happened, possibly a workplace or activity.

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:40

Teapleaselouise, I don't CARE. I'm happy to use facebook even if they suggest my name to the people I snoop on!

Doubting · 13/10/2015 13:41

Ok if it's not true can someone explain this please?

I am adopted. I met with my birth mother a few years back. She was very wary of giving me any details about her as she didn't want me to contact the rest of her family who had no idea about me. To the point she never told me her surname or where she lived. No problem. Tricky situation all round.

We have no friends in common. She lives in a different country. She popped up on my "people you might be friends with" list last week.

Knocked me sideways! I now know her surname and have seen pictures of my brother!

Can't see anything linking us except that she must have viewed my profile....

Garrick · 13/10/2015 13:48

They are absolute strangers.

And yet you've looked at their profiles? How come, do you spend your free time typing made-up names into Facebook and clicking on results?

Thanks to this thread, I've just sent a friend request to someone I know is a Mumsnetter whom I really admire :) (I know who she is because we used to be in a MN-related group.) I usually ignore the suggestions - thanks, thread!

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:51

No, now it's not me that's confused.

They ARE absolute strangers. I have never searched for them. THEY turn up in MY 'people you may know' list.

ON A SEPARATE issue I said that if I turn up in the lists of people I've searched for, I'm not bothered.

SionnachDana · 13/10/2015 13:52

doubting

I'm not surprised. But others will tell you now that you're in the same crochet club. Or that you checked in to that cafe when you met her five years ago.