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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be horrified that people may know I've viewed their Facebook page?

348 replies

icouldjusteatacroissant · 12/10/2015 14:05

Facebook deny it, but there's massive talk on the net that if you look at someone's page, you pop up on their suggested list or people you may know list. Maybe not straight away, but you do appear at some point

Am I the only one who looks at their ex's or whoevers pages, photos, etc?

I am horrified they may know I've been snooping Shock

OP posts:
RoganJosh · 12/10/2015 14:07

There are usually some other friends in common, so they'd just presume that was the reason for the suggestion? That's what I tell myself.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 12/10/2015 14:08

You'll also pop up in the suggestions for anyone you've ever emailed from the email address you log in with

And you may even get suggestions for people that they've emailed.

Wouldn't worry about it too much TBH, just block them & they'll never see you (but you'd then have to give up your peeking at them)....

ConstanceMarkYaBitch · 12/10/2015 14:09

It's not true. It never has been true.

Just because you read something on the internet, it doesn't mean its true. And just because a lot of people have also been gullible convinced, doesn't make it any more true either.

And if you're that bothered about being caught snooping (which you aren't) then don't snoop. Hmm

Spartans · 12/10/2015 14:09

That list is created using the information that comes from your own page. People who are friends with your friends, where you live, pages you like, groups your in, schools you went to, uni, jobs, events you go to.

So even if it's true, if you pop up in the recommended friends list it could be for any of the above reasons. How would your ex (for example) know that you are on the list because you looked at their profile rather than because you have something or someone in common.

BerylStreep · 12/10/2015 14:09

I thought everyone knew this. If I want to do any covert snooping looking, I always use my DH's profile as we have different surnames and no-one would have any idea who he is.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/10/2015 14:10

It's absolutely not true. I can promise you that.

Pootles2010 · 12/10/2015 14:10

No i don't think its true - can't see why on earth FB would want to do that. It would just put people off using their service, surely?

coconutpie · 12/10/2015 14:10

YABU. This is a completely false rumour - it has been said numerous times that a person cannot see who has looked at their profile.

AndLeavesthatweregreenturnedto · 12/10/2015 14:12

there is a thread on here a few days ago, its true.

someone said they worked on a case on totally random family and this woman popped up on fb friends thing they had no links except this case.

Yes op, I am totally mortified. Yes.

NotTodaySatan · 12/10/2015 14:13

What Constance said.

The hysteria on MN over something that is obviously not true is making me question the alleged average intelligence of it's users.

Headagainstwall · 12/10/2015 14:17

I sat with my MIL and set up a FB account for her so she could access an online course she was about to start. She was adamant she didn't want any 'friends' just access to the course material. As soon as I had set up her profile she got 2 friend requests, one of them from me, even tho I had definitely not sent her one & wasn't even logged in at the time.

FB does some dodgy things.

Egosumquisum · 12/10/2015 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spartans · 12/10/2015 14:18

andleaves but why would the ex (in this instance) know that's why she popped up. Surely the assumption would be that they have something or someone in common.

Also just because some said it on mn, that doesn't make it true either. That poster could have been lying because they enjoy winding people up.

tldr · 12/10/2015 14:24

FB says categorically it's not true. Why would they say that if it was true?

Answer: they wouldn't. Because they'd get sued.

Sallystyle · 12/10/2015 14:26

This again!

It's not true, as Constance said.

And even if it was it wouldn't bother me. So what if an ex know I've searched for him? If they didn't want people to snoop they would close their page to the public.

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2015 14:28

On the other thread one Mnetter deliberately snooped on another Mnetter's page who was a complete stranger. They still haven't appeared on their people you might know list.

bodenbiscuit · 12/10/2015 14:29

I think there is some truth in it but since there are other factors like check ins, pages you like and mutual friends. As well as people whose numbers you have they could never know for sure so I wouldn't worry.

muttonjeffmum · 12/10/2015 14:30

I was wondering about this. My landlord came up as a suggested friend. We have no mutual friends, no interests in common. There is no reason what so ever he should come up. I'm sure he had been snooping. I've never searched for him. It's the sort of thing he would do.

HorseyCool · 12/10/2015 14:31

It doesn't bother me if anyone wants to look at me on FB, I choose what I put on there and what my privacy settings are, I feel that anyone else's is fair game to me too. FB have been very specific about this as there were Spam "Apps" claiming to show you who has viewed your profile, FB said that they would never allow this to happen.

LinkedIn however is a different kettle of fish, people can see who has viewed them so if I am snooping I change my settings to anonymous.

AndLeavesthatweregreenturnedto · 12/10/2015 14:31

Also just because some said it on mn, that doesn't make it true either. That poster could have been lying because they enjoy winding people up

I am clinging on this small hope Grin ^

MySordidCakeSecret · 12/10/2015 14:31

in the bigger picture of everything... does it reall matter? is it worth getting worried about for more than 20 seconds?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 12/10/2015 14:35

muttonjeff have you got your landlord's number stored in your phone by any chance? Or ever emailed him?

RoganJosh · 12/10/2015 14:35

mutton what if either you or your landlord have each other's mobile number in your contacts in your phone? FB could suggest a person based on that.

RoganJosh · 12/10/2015 14:35

Ha, cross post.

Cabrinha · 12/10/2015 14:39

Is your phone number or email address linked to your fb profile?
And does your landlord have either of those?

I have never had a friend suggestion for someone where there hasn't been some link that could explain it.

But in general I think you have two choices:

  • lock it down - don't use it, or keep dedicated clean email assesses etc for it
  • accept that if some random ex know you looked him up, it actually doesn't matter. If you're going to be mortified, don't look for them. If you do look, adopt a "whatevs" approach. What can an ex DO? I looked up a v v v old ex out of curiosity last week because I was swapping funny ex stories. If he now sees I've looked and says nothing to me - I don't know or care. If he sees and messages me, I'll say "yeah, I looked cos I telling X about old boyfriends". And if he sent me something aggressive, I'd ignore and block. It doesn't matter. It's not the end of the world if someone knows you looked. This is the social media world now. Your ex doesn't want to get looked at? Don't be on fb!

Re your landlord... I would absolutely search a tenant.

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