To think my Mum is rude or maybe the real Hyacinth bouquet !!

[whatisforteamum]

Last week my Mum came with my Dad to drop off some late birthday flowers.She wouldnt come into the house when invited and stood by the doorstep pointing out a dirty windowsill,just a little bit of mud from the flower bed had splashed up!.Today she informed me that my front blinds had mildew on them (i know if you stare enough) and the window needs cleaning i checked it is fine,
The thing is i am 49 i have just started a new job on shift work so has our dd and we take her and collect her at 1130 pm.Our washing machine packed up for 1 week and since my car was hit by a lorry and written off all freetime has been spent car hunting.
I clean every day washing hoovering kitchen bathroom most days.My dh has accused me of being like my f ing mother as i am quite house proud.
My Mum hasnt been round in 7 yrs though dad has popped in.I think it is very rude to give someone flowers then insult their cleanliness especially as she never worked and ive been working fulltime.I am gobsmacked someone can be so rude :(

That is a great idea :)

Thanks

If there is room put the date too. HAha!

Would it be too mean to get some fake cobwebs from the halloween department, hide them in a secluded corner of her home, and then point them out on next visit?

I think everyone has a Hyacinth in their life. I got a real cats bum mouth look from my MIL the other day because she complimented DS's pyjamas and I told her they were from Asda. She thought that Asda was a cash and carry apparently. Still, this is the woman who constantly moans about her poverty yet lives alone in a 4 bed house and will only shop in Waitrose or John Lewis. Honestly, that show captured a certain type so bloody well.

Oh OP I would go round and fill the branded ketchup with 30p tesco stuff. repack basics bread in to an M&S bag. Switch out her favourite cleaning products with something cheap water swap tea bags for horrid basics,

My Gran moans about Organic 'not being right' and she hates my tea bags because they are not tetley even though I had a bag in my cupboard for her visits she bitched it wasn't tetley even though it was! Stopped making the effort now and have a lot of fun telling her she's drinking organic tea. You'd think i'd made her suck a lemon.

Washing powder. she hates that too. The very last time she stayed over even my duvets weren't good enough. We overheat here and Prefer a cooler 4.5tog and a blankets on top if its cold. A system that has worked well for me for 15years esp with dust mite allergy and we can fit them in the washer easily. Nope, not good enough. she bought huge 15tog ones that cost a bomb to dry clean. Threw out my summer ones then didn't understand why I was so angry.

oh yes Mum couldnt believe her half price duvet at £50 was so dear to clean.Her face when i told her mine were £8 in primark reduced to £6.90!! and they are nt the stick to your hands weird basic ones but decent heavy cotton covered ones.I am a lidl convert since dh and dd bought quite a few items in there.I am still cross about the cleaning comments though as i literally dont get a min to myself and have just finished work an hr earlier than normal.Bloody cheek.

Oh good grief - this was my mother! Nothing, nothing was ever good enough. House never clean enough, my job wasn't a career, husband not good enough (but he was when we got divorced) Only thing she liked was my son. And even then I wasn't good enough for him! I didn't look after him, feed him, and then we got a cat........That shut her up, and she never came round again. She then developed schizophrenia, before dementia. I felt nothing but relief when she died, but I am sorry as well, sorry that her whole life was full of judging other people, and always wanting to be better than them. And never enjoying anything.

oh im so sorry greydog.The thing is i love my parents eventhough they told social services i wasnt looking after or feeding the dcs well enough!!
I couldnt believe it one sunday when i dropped in on them and she warned me what she had done.The HV came out and she knew me anyway.i explained the dcs had breakfast lunch and dinner at the same time each day and healthy snacks in between she said i didnt have to explain it must be hard for me to have a mother like that.
So sad really she couldve helped if she thought we werent coping (we were but not in her way).

Your ever disappointed Mother here,OP!!

Have you put my flowers in a vase yet or are they still standing up in the sink?
Please tell my Darling son in law that he would be so lucky if you were as organised as I...

Love it :) she doesnt do her windows she has a window cleaner and my dad for everything else!! oh and she doesnt work split shifts in a hot kitchen or have an teens at home,If i lived alone my home would be a bit too tidy now it is clean and mostly tidy to anyone elses standards :)

Having time makes such a difference! I'm on maternity leave and blessed with a really placid baby. The house is clean and organised and OMG I have even ventured into batch cooking. I may be turning into my mum. Before it was chaos with everyone scrambling to get out for a 9am start and squeezing chores into weekends. Until you (General you not you OP) have experienced both sides of the coin I don't think you realise what a difference a basic commodity like time actually makes and what cuts have to be made if time is limited. People who have never had to work often can't get their heads round the limits it puts on you in terms of doing other things.

Your mother reported you to SS for no reason?

If you forgave her for that you are a much better person than I am.

Coconut - my mum is like that.

She was and still is a SAHM with a husband that worked full time. I am a single parent, working & going to college. I dont care if my garden isnt cut every week or i cant get in to my utility room for junk. My house is basic clean and tidy and my ds is well looked after. Isnt that the only things that matter.

Yes she did but because she was a foster parent for many yrs i decided she had done it for the best of the dcs.I had lost weight as we were on just dhs wage the dcs who were toddlers were well covered happy kids who i made dresses for and homemade meals.the only person "suffering" was me run ragged tripping over myself to be the perfect mum.She couldve had the dcs to give me a break.the HV only came because they have too and apologised.

I realise that Mum must have a problem and dad too "what cut of steaks are your family having then laughs at when i say a pack from sainsburys as he goes to a high end butcher.I wouldve thought both being v ill they would realise life is too short to sweat the small stuff.I am clean and hardworking and do my best i never said i was perfect.My plan for 2015 is to start going out now the dcs are grown up so the windows may get splashed if it rains but i will be out enjoying myself too much to notice

Just thank her for pointing out these things, tell her you'll talk to your cleaner about it, you just don't notice these things so much since they are really not important.