Hi, my daughter is ten and a half and has learning difficulties and suspected PDA (a form of autism whereby she has much better sociability and imagination but resists everyday demands made of her due to high anxiety when she feels she's not in control.) This is a very brief description of PDA. She also needs help with personal care. She is a very loving child, but see's people as either good or bad. There are no shades of grey with her.
Anyway we've been to see the only special school which is suitable for her in our area. It had a good Ofsted report with some areas of outstanding. Everyone I've spoken too, who knows the school has said how good it is. So I was feeling very positive about the visit.
When we arrived, we found out that the head couldn't show us around as he'd been called to a meeting. We were shown around by a lady who had only worked at the school a year. She made no attempt to talk to the children we met in the halls, she only showed us empty classrooms as the children were out to play. The classrooms did look nice and inviting though. We met some staff in the library who were rather lack-lustre to say the least! The children we saw around the school looked happy though..
The lady showing us around couldn't answer many of our questions and some, I didn't feel comfortable asking anyway as we were walking around the school grounds.
We could have just been unlucky that such a new member of staff showed us around and possibly didn't know the names of the children yet? I don't know. I know that every school we have chosen so far, has had a really warm and welcoming feeling. It feels wrong to send her somewhere that doesn't feel this way.
We are going to have another look around, this time with the head and ask him our questions. Our daughter has asked about the school, she is terrified of change and anything new but has been interested in this school. I've only told her the good things such as the small class sizes, the pets in each class etc. She's said she'd like to see it! Which is a massive thing for her, as just weeks before when I told her we were going to see a school, she told me not to talk about it as it was making her feel sick!
When we go again and speak to the head, we should hopefully have a better idea, but AIBU to rule it out completely if I still don't think it's warm and welcoming after a second visit? We are part of a big and very close, loving family and our daughter has always been used to that. At her current school, she has many friends and is very popular with the staff too as they all comment on how polite and friendly she is. I think she'd notice the lack of warmth at the school in the same way we did.
It is such a tough decision, as I don't think she's cope in a mainstream secondary even with a one to one, and if this school isn't right, we'd either have to home educate or move house. Sounds drastic, but I can't think of any other solutions.
I'd be grateful for any advice, Thanks.