To become less Intrested in socialising ?

[ginorwine]

Used to be really social when dc small - houseful of pArents and toddlers after toddler group .
Then with dc friends and our own when dc older .
Now dc are teens and arrange own stuff it seems both more effort to organise stuff - as it just doesn't happen naturally -and sometimes I feel shy to ask if people want to come for tea when it's just adults not a family .
I'm finding thAt my social circle has naturally contracted at this point in our life and part of me thinks phew ! Time to do things with myself , with dh .
However , I find that when we get invited to stuff like a b day party today I don't want to go .cant be bothered with small talk I also feel shy to go as I've become less social .i feel a little anxious about going and it's lovely people all of whom I've known for 18 years - we live in a friendly area were we all used to camp together once a year etc .i find im avoiding people .
This is a new one on me !
I have noticed that we naturally get less invites of late as we don't bump into people as not out etc .ive taken to have ing lovely days out by myself in my van for eg .i don't want it to go too far as I can feel im less confident socialising .wanted to ask is this a normal life pattern for some folk or do I need to force myself to go out with others !
Part of this is my ds is on a gap year and he has a o hour contract and he is around most days now and it's driving me mad as im rarley in the house just me to potter which I love .so when he does go out I stay in .for eg a friend wants me to go out with her next fri am wen I'm off work and I'm resisting commuting as tho wd love to see her in thinking what if my ds is at work I could potter ! Heeeelp I'm turning into Mrs havers ham .!! Is this ok or normal for some ?

Oh I am hoping for answers too - my children are small but I feel the same!

I think if you were saying you were less interested in socialising because you enjoy your own company, want a breather, have a hobby, got a boxset marathon planned etc then that's totally normal. I love that I've reached that age where solitude is bliss but it sounds a teeny bit like it's also because you've gone a bit shy.

If you want to socialise and enjoy it when you're there but can't get up the momentum then maybe you need to start doing small things with friends again to build yourself up but if it's genuinely because you want, and enjoy doing your own thing then do it!! Ilove being socially commitment free

Thanks both was feeling a bit is it just me ?
I love my own company but don't want to go other way n start isolate myself .
Worried that my friends will tail off if I don't make more effort etc !
There is a strong social scene here and I c b a but sort of occasionally worry that it will turn from invite gin to oh don't gin never comes anyway !

As fair as I'm concerned, YANBU. Bear in mind that I am the poster-child for introversion and find nearly all socialising excruciating and pointless. So if we try to take that out of the equation, I would also suggest that:

(a) We go through phases in our lives. Once upon a very long time ago, I thought that alcohol and late nights were The Thing. Now I would rather cheese-grate my own face off. Or more accurately, I would rather sleep. Please, god, let this happen at some point soon.

(b) You can lose confidence in something if you don't do it as much. Socialising is a skill, like any other, and you haven't done it much recently. Et voila. Reduced confidence.

I would also suggest that genuine friends are going to be very understanding if you are just having a few quiet seasons at home with the family, and should always be willing to go with the general rhythm of your life. If they resent it for some reason then they're not really the kinds of friends you want to be hanging out with.

As fair as I'm concerned, YANBU. Bear in mind that I am the poster-child for introversion and find nearly all socialising excruciating and pointless. So if we try to take that out of the equation, I would also suggest that:

(a) We go through phases in our lives. Once upon a very long time ago, I thought that alcohol and late nights were The Thing. Now I would rather cheese-grate my own face off. Or more accurately, I would rather sleep. Please, god, let this happen at some point soon.

(b) You can lose confidence in something if you don't do it as much. Socialising is a skill, like any other, and you haven't done it much recently. Et voila. Reduced confidence.

I would also suggest that genuine friends are going to be very understanding if you are just having a few quiet seasons at home with the family, and should always be willing to go with the general rhythm of your life. If they resent it for some reason then they're not really the kinds of friends you want to be hanging out with.

*far.

How is it possible to proof-read three times, yet only spot the typo the split second after it's posted. FFS.

YANBU. I don't socialise much at all these days. I am not shy or lack confidence, I just can't be bothered with parties or get togethers and I like time for myself. I don't know why I changed because I used to want to be involved in everything.

Why not be like some of my "friends"? Pretend you like socialising and then cancel with a couple of hours to spare

YANBU, but like you I sometimes worry about this.

I was every sociable in my 20s and early 30s - couldn't bear to not be out on Fri and Sat nights, always wanted friends round etc.

My DCs are still primary age, so I have plenty of school-gate chat. But they are both old enough to go to friend's houses without me, so I'm not always involved in their get-togethers.

I live in a village which is quite sociable, people go out a lot in the evenings, have dinner parties and so on. And I just can't motivate myself to get involved. I'm a single parent and I work, so I'm constantly shattered. I love the moment when the kids are in bed, I've done all the chores I need to do, and I can flop on the settee in my pyjamas. I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than get my glad rags on and go out to socialise.

By I do worry slightly that I won't always feel like this, and one day I'll have the energy and enthusiasm for a night out, but I'll have no friends left to invite me! That said, I make an effort to keep in touch with my really good longstanding friends, even if it's just phone calls and emails. And sometimes we meet for lunch, which I enjoy because it doesn't interfere with my sleep!