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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand how friend can make such a sweeping statement like that?

11 replies

IzzyS · 10/10/2015 17:08

One of my friends (well I say friend, I haven't seen her in ages as I realised what sort of a person she really is so had started to distance myself) has posted on Facebook that she is fed up of working and not seeing her kids (she works between 16-20 hours a week) and that people who don't work or work long hours adon't know how bloody lucky they are ad how easy they have it, so AIBU to feel a bit annoyed with her as to me that's one hell of a generalisation and a huge assumption to make.

I myself have three children dd age 7, dd age 3 and a ds age almost 5 who is autistic and has severe learning difficulties. I have worked all my life but I gave up my job last year as my ds didn't settle well into reception and I was called in on a weekly basis to pick him up and it got too much. I've since recieved dla and carer's allowance and am I full time carer, my "friend" obviously has a problem with this is as she's been having loads of digs lately, hence why I've started to distance myself, and I suspect today's status is also aimed at me.

My friend does nothing but moan about her life. She's officially a single mum but her ex partner is round at her house most days helping out with the kids. He lives at his grandparents house but spends more time at her house and even stays over and looks after the kids whilst she goes out, which is most weekends. Now what they do in their own setup is down to them, I don't care, but if I'm being honest if I had to gauge who had it the "easiest" then I'd say her. She works two/two and half days a week, her kids are in nursery and school/after school club full time and she doesn't even do the school runs as she gets her ex partner to take them in a morning and he picks them up at night even though she's home from work and is sat at home. She comes and goes whenever she pleases as she had er ex on tap wheras my dh works a mixture of night afternoon shifts so during the week if I go anywhere then my kids come with me, I have no choice. Anyone who has a child with autism/additional needs then they won't even need to question why things aren't a walk in the park yet all I get from my friend is bitterness and resentment. Nobody even bothered to comment on her status and I'm not surprised, it's ridiculous an considering she's got quite a few family members and friends on there who don't work at the moment I think she's quite brave (or stupid) to put such a thing

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 10/10/2015 17:13

Just block her and move on with your life.

IzzyS · 10/10/2015 17:14

I intend to, but she's not getting the message.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 10/10/2015 17:27

Block her on FB and your phone and then she doesn't have a way to contact you.

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2015 17:32

Meh. That's what the scroll button's for.

NumbBlaseCold · 10/10/2015 17:56

She won't get the message you want her to.

So remove her from fb and phone and life.

IzzyS · 10/10/2015 18:43

I need to I know I do definitely but he comment has still struck a nerve with me. She does the least hours possible so that she's entitled to all sorts (that we don't get or have never got) yet she dares have digs at me for taking some time out of work.

OP posts:
Mrsmorton · 10/10/2015 18:46

If she's posting that sort of shit, she's never going to get the message. Remove her from your life, she's adding absolutely fuck all.

SladeGreen · 10/10/2015 18:49

Seriously, just forget about her. Everyone's circumstances are different, and yes everyone moans about how "easy" they think other people have it, but as they say, the grass is always greener.

I would just ignore her.

IzzyS · 10/10/2015 18:49

She even bragged that when all these tax credit cuts come in next year that she'll only be worse off by £10 a week wheras me and dh will be hundreds per month worse off and we have a disabled child plus two others to care for.

OP posts:
Bing0wings · 11/10/2015 10:48

OP, this person is not your friend. You know that she is being unreasonable and judgemental. I too had to give up work for a while to deal with kids with SN. Now working very part time but even that is difficult. If one of the kids gets worse, I will resign as I won't be able to cope with it, despite financial implications. Implying that you are lucky because you don't have to work is not on.

NumbBlaseCold · 11/10/2015 20:12

She only annoys you.

She is not a friend.

Block and think Fuck Off to her.

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