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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To actually like my MIL?

60 replies

NotAnotherMonday · 09/10/2015 21:17

She's brilliant!

Today my dp had a rare day off and as we're planning our wedding she offered to look after 3.5mnth old DD so we could do some shopping.

We picked her up four hours later and I can't believe how great she is.

  • the bottle she fed DD with has been washed so I only needed to put it in the steriliser when I got home
  • DD had her nap at her usual time this afternoon (give or take 5mins) and was a happy smiley baby when I picked her up, MIL sticks to a similar routine to what I do so DD isn't to unsettled.
  • DD went with a slight cold and came back cured (seriously, how does she do it?)

This is the second time she's looked after DD since she was born, and everytime I am shocked at how great she is with DD. She always listens to my rules about DD particularly about other people and even text to ask if she could take DD to her friends to see her and her baby for a few hours (we gave permission for this). She keeps her two large dogs away from DD.

Sorry to boast, I know not everyone has such amazing MILs but I'm so pleased I thought I'd boast a bit.

OP posts:
thundernlightning · 10/10/2015 04:54

I love and adore my MIL. She's a wonderful human being.

thundernlightning · 10/10/2015 04:55

(So, no, YANBU!)

feezap · 10/10/2015 07:17

My MIL brought round flowers for me yesterday as my Grandma had died. I have had a crappy week so even though she was in a rush she stopped to chat.

She's great with DS, I've not even had a thought that she might stray from routine when she has him, which is regularly.

Hooray for lovely MILs Smile

Pseudo341 · 10/10/2015 07:19

My MIL is wonderful. I had major baby blues after both my kids and I was literally crying on her shoulder for some of it. She came on holiday with us this year to help look after the kids. I'm only sad that my FIL is no longer with us, he was fab too.

swimmerforlife · 10/10/2015 07:27

I love my MIL too, she has treated me like her own daughter and has been like a second mum to me when my own couldn't as she lived 30 hours by plane away.

We have had our disagreements over the years but I truly don't what I would have done without her support especially after I had DS and I was struggling as a new mum or my miscarriages.

She lives 200 miles away but always comes down regularly to babysit DS so we can go out. FIL is alright too Grin

beetrootpickle · 10/10/2015 07:38

{wistful} I'd love to have a MIL like that.

Unfortunately, mine is a bundle of cliches from every MIL horror story on MN!

Nice to hear there are some lovely MIL's out there, though!

flanjabelle · 10/10/2015 07:42

I have had ups and downs with my dps dm over the years, but she has struggled with her mental health at times. Underneath it all though she adores me. She sings my praises as a mum to the family, and has been very kind to me. Fil is awful, truly awful, but mil cares and tries her best. She will never be another mum to me, but we are good friends and I am mostly lucky.

Knitknatknot · 10/10/2015 07:45

Another jealous one- I'd love a good relationship with my mil and I'd love her to take more of an interest in dd- you're very lucky OP

LilaTheTiger · 10/10/2015 07:49

Mine's ace. She's the one DP and I ask for advice when we need a grown up to help (we're 39 Blush)

PurpleWithRed · 10/10/2015 07:50

My MIL is great too. Mother of two sons, DH's XDW was the daughter she never had (they were married for nearly 20 years) and I know she misses her terribly, but she's still welcomed me in and set out to like me. She's great fun, a lovely person, and while we're at the stage where we do more for her than she does for us I know she'd do anything for me if I was in need. Love you MIL xxx

MrsTedCrilly · 10/10/2015 07:53

Mine is awesome too, she knows not to interfere and is very easy to be around, never causes any worry or stress. Very interesting to chat to. I'm amazed at what some of you on here put up with, I know you hardly have a choice but you have my respect! People shouldn't make life harder.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 10/10/2015 07:56

Mine is fab too. Great company, really good fun and was a great support when DS was having troubles. PIL are late 70s / early 80s so I'm mentally gearing up to having them live with us. Actually looking forward to the prospect - weird or what!

CuppaSarah · 10/10/2015 08:01

My mil is more my mother than my mine will ever be. I've already told dh if we were to split me and his mum are staying friends. I'll also still be bringing the kids up to stay with her, because shes an amazing grandma and amazing woman.

My in-laws live 4 hours away and we're planning on moving up to live near them in the near future. They deserve to be near their grand children and rent is much more affordable in that area so everyone wins.

AndDeepBreath · 10/10/2015 08:02

Mine is brilliant too. Lovely woman and she raised a truly lovely bloke. She's thoughtful and kind and I think would be great if we had kids.

Ikeatears · 10/10/2015 08:03

I've had a terrible time mental health wise recently and had varying degrees of support from my family. MIL has messaged me every day with little messages of support like "I love you" "you can do this" "keep strong" "you're wonderful" She hasn't interfered or intruded, she's just loved me and that's all I've needed, I won't ever forget it xxx

CuppaSarah · 10/10/2015 08:05

But dh has been much more unlucky with his mil. Who does fit the mn cliques so it is fair I hit the jackpot with my mil. Most relationships seem to have one person gaining brilliant family and the other gaining difficult relationships from what I've seen though.

Groovee · 10/10/2015 08:06

Mine is fab too. She's only had sons, so adores dd. And she's great with ds. They step in at a moments notice to help when I have been ill X

dancerchancer · 10/10/2015 08:09

You're lucky, my ex mil moved to Spain. If we wanted to see her we had to go to her. She always had lame excuses to never have to visit us and never got involved in any of our lives. If we didn't go to her, her GC would not have known her.

Mehitabel6 · 10/10/2015 08:13

I love a positive MIL story. Mine was lovely. I now have a super DIL. I think that people should ignore that dreadful poem about a DD all your life and DS until he gets a wife- it only happens if he chooses badly!

HackerFucker22 · 10/10/2015 08:19

I have an amazing MIL, worryingly she reminds me a lot of myself (DP would deny this to the hilt but I think we are very similar in many ways)

She is kind, thoughtful, understands boundaries although she did nip in when I was in labour with DC1 despite being asked not to she doesn't interfere but is always on hand if I seek advice. She is a nurse so I have asked a fair bit of advice. She is also a mother of 6 so again a good source of advice but she never offers her opinion unless asked.

We live quite close to PIL so I see them fairly often and I've never had an issue with either of them.

I'm very lucky as my folks are close by and also fab.

Original poster
NotAnotherMonday · 10/10/2015 09:59

Thanks to everyone for more positive stories about MILs.

Cake for those who have awful ones. My mum's pretty bad and I don't spreak to my dad or his family and haven't for nearing 5years so I'm lucky my mil is great. I'm arranging for a big bunch of flowers and a box of her favourite chocolate to be delivered to her door on Monday as she had a stressful week at work and still looked after DD brilliantly (didn't know about the stressful week until sil text me earlier)

OP posts:
IJustLostTheGame · 10/10/2015 10:16

Yabu for bragging. Grin
Now you have to share her, it's only fair.
Mine is a nightmare.

PontyGirl · 10/10/2015 10:22

I am BU because I am SO jealous.

Mine is a great (at the moment) GM but a horrific MIL.

BubblyChocolate · 10/10/2015 11:31

Another one here that also has an amazing MIL! Such a kind, caring, funny lady.

She means so much to me and she always makes sure I know how much I mean to her too. She's so vocal about her love for me it can be embarrassing sometimes! (But in a nice way!).

When you meet my MIL and FIL it becomes clear why my DH is the lovely man he is.

LadyNym · 10/10/2015 11:37

Mine can be frustrating in a few small ways. Her and FIL are awful at communicating so there's no sort of warning that they're coming to visit (it's not like they live just up the road - think several hundred miles away so would be really good to know we need to be available and DH needs to take time off work etc.). And we have little different ways of doing things.

But on the whole she's lovely. She's friendly and we can chat for hours, she always takes my side if DH and I have a jokey 'fight', she tells me I'm a good mum. I could do a lot worse than my MIL and reading MIL threads on here reminds me of that constantly!