Today I am finished

[brokenvases]

I have name changed. For the record I have always worked hard. From 17 to 30 I worked 50 hours mostly per week.
Then I chose what I thought was a better life by leaving abusive exh taking my dd with me.
DD has SN. As a result I have ended up self employed. I am heavy reliant on tax credits , tax credits which are about to be dramatically cut under the new changes or removed altogether as I don't meet the minimum floor level.

I would love a job out of the home again but so does every other Mum in my small area but i do apply.
I would love to work longer hours and would happily walk four miles each way into the nearest town to do so despite my own health issues. But where is the childcare for a thirteen year old who nearly set fire to the house trying to cook last week or who has panic attacks if left alone for five minutes.

So I'm faced with three options.
Survive on £20.70,a week child benefit plus small self employed earnings.
Send dd to live with her abusive father who has never worked so I can not end up homeless.
Put dd in care so she doesn't live in poverty and cost the state a whole lot more.

So yeah today I am finished.

I am sorry you are having such a tough time OP.

What are you self employed as OP?

I'm in the same boat, no DLA and no child care and a child who cannot be left in the house alone for similar reasons to you. I feel for you.

The working tax credit cuts are utterly awful :( I don't see how on earth they are justifiable.

Does dd have a statement or EHC Plan naming the school she currently attends without qualification? If so it's highly likely that she's entitled to free school transport, even if you live less than three miles away, as she obviously can't travel on her own.

Haven't had chance to read through all the posts so sorry if this is duplicating anything but does your LA have an early help team? My Mum works for this at our LA and you sound exactly the type of person she would be able to help. She advises on all benefits etc to make sure you are getting everything available to you, can get food bank vouchers, help with job search etc etc etc. Please reach out and ask for some support you shouldn't be dealing with this alone.

Childminder!
I am sure any childminder would consider taking on a 13 yo as easy money.Fix her a snack or tea and then let her do her homework.

Have you based this on what you have seen in the media rather than actually find out what you will entitled to?

If self employment isn't working out then can you wrap up your business and get part time hours? Childcare vouchers etc?

Ive seen a CAB advisor.
I'm trying to find school hours work desperately Horsey. Cab told me not to jack in SE until I with found a school you job or was made to when UC switch over as I could be left with nothing for weeks in the time between and currently we are managing.

I did find a childminder who would take a child so old as she had a teen child herself but she cannot pick her up and I picking up from two other schools from 3.10 to 4 pm.
A lot seem only registered until age 11 here.

horse, getting childcare for a child with SN is next to impossible. and getting a school hours/term time job is another mission impossible.

OP, hope you can get DLA sortet. if she gets at least middle rate care you can then apply for Carer's allowance. it is a pittance at £62/week but you get this as long as you earn below £110/week. so you could still earn something and get Carer's on top. also, there is a disability element to tax credits which should push them up again. and DLA in itself will also help. but you will get Carer's allowance and the disability element of the tax credits only if you get Middle or High Rate DLA. sounds hard. I have a child with complex SN and work 2 jobs to keep a roof over our head. even with DLA :(

A NT child at thirteen might be easy money for a childminder but a teen with SN who has meltdowns not so much.

Primary were useless and had her just on iep and school action plus. Secondary have VERY heavy support in place but academically she IS making progress so they feel they can manage her social/emotional needs without a EHC plan. She is in a SN room all lunch and break and heavily supported.

Will try and find out about a early help team thankyou.

I have no experience of SN and I can only imagine how hard it must be particularly when the state support is so poor. Can I gently ask what will happen to your daughter as an adult / if or when you are unable to care for her anymore? I ask because you mentioned state care as an option and you really seem to be at the end of your rope.

Is it a real option / choice for you? Is it only available if you are not? Is it utterly shit with no continuing education and support for your daughter?

I am genuinely interested, not trying to stir. I do know a number of people who have mentally disabled children in residential care [none in this country admittedly] which is state funded and excellent, albeit extremely hard to secure.

I know that SN is a long way from mentally disabled [before I am totally flamed] and there is a huge range/spectrum however the support services available seem to be totally inadequate.

There seems to be so many people in your position on MN and frankly I just want to know what we can do about it and how those of us who are lucky enough to not have your problems can help you.

and and if any of that helps this evening.

I would certainly go down the DLA & Carers Allowance road, you sound as though you would certainly qualify for them!!
If you were to get those, it would open up other doors-benefit wise-for you.
Cheaper days out, many places offer carers go free, or a discount at least!!
Cinemas offer that the carer goes free on receipt of the DLA or PIP paperwork or the CEA card, this means who-ever is with your daughter as a carer for her, not just you!!
Please go to the trouble of applying again, it will benefit you both-both financially & quality of living!!

Treadsoftly My neice has very similar issues to dd. She went to residential college which taught her life skills as well as education and is living in supported housing and works in a supported situation. I am imaging the same thing will happen to dd.

If you and DD are successful in applying for carers allowance and DLA, you should get your claim backdated to the date you applied, even if it takes a while to come through. I think you can get up to three months backdated so there may be a tiny buffer coming your way. This is unless the rules on this have been changed as well...anyone?

I`m sorry, I am after n update/being nosey
Have you taken anything further-like applying for the benefits suggested above??

What do you do self employed? Could you do more of it?
All the mums I know who want a new job that fits around school hours have set up their own businesses as all sorts of things. It seems the best way to work school hours.