DS friend

[ncforthe1000thtime]

Long story short, my friend used to childmind my DC, then went back to work and now we do a swap. Friend is lovely, caring, nuturing person where as I'm a lot more impatient and disorganised unfortunately.

My DC love going to friend, but I find having her DC very hard. They are similar ages to mine, boy and girl like mine but the eldest is so rude to me I find it hard to remain calm. Breaks things and doesn't apologise, is mean to his little sister, no manners, complains about everything, talks over my DC, tells my DS that I'm a rubbish mum (which is probably true but my DS gets very upset with this). I don't let my DC get away with being rude so I tell him off too. I also feel I need to baby proof the house before they arrive to hide all the hazards/precious things or else they will fiddle/colour them in/break them which is ridiculous as they are all in school.

In addition, my friend is nearly always considerably later picking up than the agreed time so by the time she arrives I'm frazzled and she's in no hurry to get them home. It's more annoying because when I paid her to look for my kids, I was always on time and am now too.

I feel I need to say something but would AIBU? If my DC were/are talking to her like that I'd want to know but maybe I have unrealistic expectations of looking after 4 kids.

How about reinforcing your house your rules in a fun and memorable way, have a game with all the kids and remind them it's basic manners to conform to the standards of the host. Go through what it's okay to do at home isn't good behaviour in shops, restaurants, other peoples' houses then reinforce with 'In this house we ...'

Well she may be lovely, caring, nurturing but she's raising some ill mannered children isn't she? You don t mention ages but one is able to tell your child you're a rubbish mum so not toddlers I'm guessing.

You should have a word with her about behaviour. I'm sure when she was your childminder you asked for feedback, I'd tell her at pick up time that there were whatever issues through the day and ask if perhaps she can address this. Also, do you tell the mindees off when they do this? If not start!

Sounds like this arrangement is no longer working so well for you and the late pick ups are something you should nip in the bud immediately.