Income support meeting

[UmbongoUnchained]

Just wondering if IBU

Found myself as a single mum on benefits due to having to leave ex partner.
Last week I had an IS meeting with the job centre. She asked if I was planning on going back to work and I said yes, in the next year or 2 as I'm currently saving to pay for my C1 license so I can join the ambulance service.
She basically said it was a "pipe dream" and that I should probably just settle with a minimum wage job and look to going back to work immediately. I explained to her that with childcare and travel costs (I'm taking my driving test next month so currently rely on public transport) I was 250 pounds a month worse off when I was working. She then said "that's just life darling," and again tried to convince me to look for bar jobs.
AIBU to refuse to go back to work atm just to end up in debt again, never to be able to afford to do my C1 and actually get a nice stable job that will fund a comfortable life for myself and DD? She's only just turned 1 so have another 2 years until the IS stops, which is the time frame I'm giving myself to get my ass in gear! I've had a shitty year, fleeing domestic violence which she was aware of and only just managed to get back on my feet. I'm not planning to live on benefits, they're just really saving my ass at the moment! Really unsure now though whether I should just forget about the ambulance job, suck it up and try and muddle through on a minimum wage job where I wouldn't even be able to afford to buy food shopping :(
Any advice would be appreciated! Especially anyone who has been in my position! Thank you :)

What qualifications do you already have? You just need to save for the c1 yes?

I sort of see where os is coming from. I don't see why tax payers should pay for someone to have children for 3 whole years.. Maternity leave like any other person up to one year of course but I don't see why someone should take 3 years off.

Also have you had prior work experience? Ambulance service is tricky to get into and I very much doubt they will want to employ you if you've been unemployed for three whole years. Employers do not like gaps on cvs and maternity leave cab only cover a one year gap I'm afraid.

I would look into getting a job that is decent paid in the mean time after your year maternity leave to gain experience and support yourself.

Nothing wrong with taking some time to get your bearings but agree ambulance service very hard to get into plus presumably shifts so how are you going to manage childcare?

I think the advisor was being realistic. Most people dream of their ideal job and would love to be paid to not work for a few years whilst they achieve it.

However when you have children to support responsibility has to be taken. It may not be a persons dream job but it needs to put food on the table and heat the house. Opting out of supporting a child should never be an option.

That kind of job needs 24/7 childcare hours to cover shifts, very unrealistic with young children and being single.

Yabu.

paid maternity leave ends after 9 months and lots of women have to go back to work then and don't have the option of an further tax payer funded 'fucking around' and not 'getting getting your arse in gear' (your language gives it away how serious you are with this all).

also, if you cannot afford childcare now how would you do this in 2 years time? shifts? I don't think you thought this through properly.

If you are fit and we'll, get a job now rather than doing nothing. this will be much better for your long term prospects anyways.

OP, most people don't work in their dream job but do other roles. that is life and taking responsibility, you know?

Op - I sympathise entirely. I've gone from corporate ft running two businesses on the side to lone parent barely able to function.

Fwiw an old school friend got her license by becoming a bus driver as they paid for all her training plus valuable experience in "dealing with the public". She's now a paramedic - although tbf has older children, supportive family and husband.

That's the thing, there are no decent paid jobs where I am. I live in a rural part of Cornwall where the work is very much seasonal and most pay about 6.50 an hour. If I went any further out, I'd be using most of a day's pay on travel costs and the extra child care if need because of the hourly bus service (which rarely actually arrives).
I'm not just sitting around watching Jeremy Kyle, I'm being pro active and getting my driving done so I can train to be a first responder. Yes it's voluntary, but it's vital experience for my cv!
I've paid my taxes for years, I'm not going to feel guilty about using the system for a while as I get back on my feet. I didn't ask to be left in this situation, but I'm not going to let my DD go with out for the sake of my pride and being in a crappy paid job. Thanks to purplepoodle I have spent most of the night researching the emergency dispatch job! Thank you again for that!

If you can use the next 2 years training to get a better job then you could now then absolutely do that.
People are forgetting that if you get a better paid job you'll have to rely less on tax credits, housing benefit etc so much in the future and will probably end up receiving less benefits than if you got stuck in a minimum wage job for the next 17 years.
Maternity leave is only 9 months blablabla? That sounds like bitter people being annoyed they had to go back to work forgetting that what you do makes no difference to them.

And I did go back to work after maternity leave , which is how I know I'd be worse off in work at the moment. I heard something about a change in the law regarding funded childcare going up to 30 hours? If that's true, then I can go back to my old job pretty much full time while I'm saving.

Op I think that you have to think very carefully about your child care arrangements in your plans to join the ambulance service. Where in rural Cornwall are you going to find child care for shifts across 24 hours, seven days a week? Is there honestly provision for childcare to cover a Friday night duty and a Sunday early shift? If there is such cover will it be affordable on your £16,000 to £17,000 starting pay?
I'm not saying I agree with what the advisor said to you but maybe she had a point in suggesting you broaden your sights.

Unbongo I think it is a good idea get your driving licence. I believe that you need to do a foundation degree in Paramedic Science to qualify. Some ambulance services do offer funded places but these schemes are very competitive to get onto.

You could contact SWAS now to do some research on becoming a paramedic so that you can get your ducks in a row for when you do apply.

OP won't be studying for two years for an amazing job.. It's only a c1 licence. Hardly rocket science and intense exam papers..

Also not bitter about the maternity leave being 9 months to a year because it actually is.. And gaps in OP CV won't be liked any if she said in an interview oh I needed 3 years maternity leave to get my ass in gear I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be jumping at the chance to employ her.

Username entry requirements is actually gcse or nvq and a manual drivers licence plus c1 if after 1996

www.nhscareers.nhs.uk/explore-by-career/ambulance-service-team/careers-in-the-ambulance-service/ambulance-care-assistantpatient-transport-service-(pts)-driver/

username I will be applying as an ECA so only need GCSE's which I've got. My mum retires in 2 years and has offered to provide the childcare I'd need until I'm in a position to pay for its myself.
And I don't understand this 3 years maternity bollocks? I'm not on 3 years maternity, I took 9 months off, went back to work, realised I couldn't do it and left to make a new plan. In the 4 months I've been off I've managed to move out of a refuge and into a nice home and get my life back on track. So no I haven't been doing nothing.

Don't be ridiculous; looking after your own small children would not create a gap in your Cv. Any sane employer would know what you were doing in that time. Maternity leave exists to keep a specific job open for that period, that is all.

Yanbu. It's actually far cheaper for the so called tax payer, for single parents to have actual professions. I did a degree when dd was little. As a result when she started reception I was on tax credits and fsm, by y1 just a small tax credit top up, and now age 11 I've been financially independent except child benefit for years. If I'd done minimum wage unskilled jobs, then bearing in mind how many are zero hours, or odd rotas and not very dependable, I'd have spent the last 7 years on large tax credit top ups, on and off jsa when one contract ends etc and I'd be looking forward to another 7 years doing the same. And I wouldn't be paying much into the system either.
As long as it's a career that is worthwhile and will be compatible with being a single mum then my advice is go for it. My lone parent advisor was supportive, but I did meet a moron like you have once and so glad I ignored them. Through work I also meet twats other short sighted or unhelpful advisors and I recommend ignoring anything detrimental long term.

Op you're lucky to have your mum then because as far as I can see you would probably have to find a nanny for child care, you might be able to get away with an au pair when your DD starts school.

How many ambulance technicians are there in Cornwall? How often do they recruit and how many people do they look for in each recruitment drive? Are you including the possibility of recruitment taking place in only a years time, when your DD is only two, or in three years time, forcing you to seek other work while waiting?

I just think it would be dangerous to concentrate all your efforts on a single job. Hoping to get that particular job while developing your skills for it by widening your job search seems sensible.

Unbongo sorry I assumed you wanted to be a paramedic when you said work for the ambulance service. An ECA is a great job.

I think you should stick with your plan as it is to give you long term sustainable income/employment. A driving licence and a C1 licence are always good to have for a number of roles.

The great thing about becoming an ECA is that it is not a dead end job. ( Whispers so not to upset SWFARMER) if you want to work your way up and gain additional qualifications you can. I have a friend who worked as an ECA (who loved it so much and wanted to do more) who is due qualify shortly as a paramedic (after doing her foundation degree through the open university) as she was sponsored by her employer. She only has GCSE's as well

Thank you.
Yes if it wasn't for my mum and very good friend of mine then the job wouldn't really be possible at all! I'm more than happy to take another job in the mean time, I'm just waiting till I have a car so my options are wider and I don't have to pay an extra 2 hours a day in childcare to cover the bus times!
I know the SWAW recruit yearly as my dear old dad has just finished his GCSE's and been accepted a place! If he can do it at his age then so can I! (I hope)

You've courageously fleed from DV and you've had to endure some fucking pricking cunt patronizing you. How fucking dare she. Complain with out delay.
Hounding a single mum. Pity they don't hound the cunt who was abusing you. He was violent toward you and yet it's you who suffers.
Makes me .
And I think personally this could be the reason why a lot of abused women/men are reluctant to leave their abusive partners due to how lone parents are disgustingly treated by the government.

I just nod along and go through the motions at my IS interviews, I know the staff are under a lot of pressure and don't have much time (or training, or pay) so I just see it as a hoop to jump through to make sure the payment goes in. I'm a carer and so I can stay on IS indefinitely while my disabled DS is on DLA (he will be on DLA or PIP for the rest of his life most likely), and I know there are no requirements to seek work so it really doesn't matter what the DWP worker's opinion (or of any random person on the internet) is anyway.

They can penalise you for not turning up, and possibly for not doing things like writing up a cv, but they can't force you into looking for a job on their terms (would be different if you were on JSA, and it may be different for single mums on IS as opposed to carers). I'm working hard on my OU degree in the meantime, knowing that I'll be able to get a job with much better prospects than anything you'd find through the Jobcentre. Just make sure you know the current state of the benefits system, as changes are coming in all the time. My DWP worker keeps thinking that I'll have to seek work once Universal Credit comes in (and she thinks that will be happening early next year) - she's obviously been told that in her training but I know it won't happen for my case in my area so I'm pretty relaxed about it all.

Well of course you're relaxed about it, Scall. All lone parents would be if there wasn't this pressure or rather obsession to get them back to work. Doing so by threatening them with sanctions and poverty.
Yes I do fully understand you have pressures in other ways. I'm in no way saying you have an easy ride, of course you don't.
However IMO all main carers should have the choice of staying at home to care for their child, until they reach 16, possibly even more so during the teen years as thats when the need you most.

I think sadly LP are easy targets...

Quite often issues which mean children don't settle in any kind of childcare, statements, DLA are not done in the first couple of years..

My DS witnessed DV and had severe separation issues that required professional intervention.. I could not of got him into childcare.

E years children get lots of bugs, illnesses with no back up, no support it is really tough

Zero hour contracts, so much is against a LP working..I do now and have been for the past 3 years. I still claim WTC,

There is a huge shortage of jobs..LP are the easy target..My Ex has never paid more than £5 a week CSA in 5 years..Why not target him. Why not target the families that have 2 parents at home and neither are working.

OP...Some people have no idea what it is like to live through DV and come out the other end.

Some people really have no idea what it is like to be a lp...

C4. I guess you also think the brute abusing this poor woman. The mother of his child is BU, too. Or you another one only brave enough to target the lone parent.

"There is a huge shortage of jobs. LP's are an easy target. My ex has never paid more than £5 in CSA In five years. Why not target him.
Why not target the families of 2 parents where neither are working.
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