to wonder if the laptop is going to destroy my marriage?

[telephoneexchange]

DH has got into the habit of coming home from work, sitting on the settee and going on the laptop. He googles things to do with his hobby, looks at facebook etc. This goes on for hours. If I talk to him, he sort of replies but hasn't really heard me. When it's meal time we are all sat down and he joins us about a minute later after prising himself away. I pointed this out to him at the weekend and he agreed so made an effort last night to turn it off. I could tell he was dying to get back on it, which made me feel like I am boring. I feel we've lost something we had before but don't know how to compete with the laptop any more?

Oh blimey, that'll be me, I'm glued to it in the evening. Luckily for me, Dh loves his too. I don't know, ask him to limit the time he is on there? But I wouldn't like to be told I'm not to go on mine tbh.

He's not living in the moment is he? I wouldnt be happy with this at all. Being glued to a laptop mesmerised by other people's writings, musings etc when you have a partner isn't right. Nothing wrong with laptop use but when its this regular its an alarm bell

Not saying anything as extreme as this would happen to you but I was with my ex for 8 years he did the same and it wasn't good for our relationship - he eventually went off with an old flame he'd found and been exchanging messages with via FB. A cheat will always find a way but its the bloody cheek of him cheating in plain sight, technology makes it so very easy to do and not get caught for a good while.

Whatever it is (& as said it doesnt have to be as far as what happened to me) if your man is more interested in interacting with laptop than with you then you do have an issue that needs nipping in the bud. At least he made an effort when you asked him to but its to be hoped he can maintain that effort

Thanks for replies. He did make an effort again last night and was only on for an hour instead of hours. It is just so antisocial and I find myself feeling more and more annoyed the longer he spends on it.

I feel your pain - my DH got a new phone last month - it doesn't leave his hand all evening. Admittedly I've been ill so not much company, but I think it needs mentioning soon.

What would you be doing if he wasn't on the laptop? If you're just going to be sat watching TV in silence, for example, then I don't see the issue. But if you want to spend time with him - watch a movie or maybe go out, then you need to tell him that.

I use my laptop a lot, but if DP (who's just as addicted to his xbox) wanted to do something together (watch a movie, play a video game, etc.) I would happily turn it off. Would your DH happily come off for it for a few hours to do something with you?

What do you do while he's on the laptop? Do you have a hobby of your own you could get engrossed with? I don't think there's a problem with him going on there in his downtime, tbh, as long as it's not a 24/7 thing.

Hmm, DP and I both spend hours on our computers in the evening. But we always talk about our day / eat dinner together / watch an episode of whatever box set we're watching together. And we'll always happily leave computers to watch a film or go out to dinner together. I think it sounds like he's trying, but YABU as sounds like it was excessive before you had a word!