To expect my kids to give me some slack

[ICyou]

I already know the answer just up and chatting.
I'm having a tough time at work, restructure and as a senior manager its a bit like the turkeys planning Christmas. I'm pre occupied and stressed but trying to stay on track as a mum but before bed last night I asked DD1 to put something in her book bag and she said ' argh I'm just under too much pressure here' at the time I laughed and said I think my request was reasonable but if she really couldn't cope I'd help. But at 4.30 after chewing a particularly rough day over in my head I'm crying coz I feel like I'm transferring all my shit into them. I have asked them a few times, usually on a morning when they're bickering before school to be nice and allow me some quality time, an hour refereeing breakfast isn't the best run up to a 5 hour meeting on management structure options.
There is no doubt that by Christmas I'll be made redundant, but I don't know how to keep it all separate from home.

Can you stop at a cafe and have a coffee before coming home so you have a breather before having to deal with them?

I'm a bit more pre occupied that a coffee would sort I think. I've always maintained a pretty good work life balance, not just the time/schedule but also in having a very separate work life to home. My stress feels a bit all encompassing, which is why I'm snivelling at this time in the morning not flat out.

I have got upset at home and I'm not very patient, which isn't me. Do I involve them of what I'm going though, within reason, or hide it and just get a grip. At this point I don't feel very grippy. I will be breaking the news to my staff team that there will probably be redundancies in the morning.

It might be more than what a coffee will cover, but it might give you the few minutes you need to take a deep breath and get your thoughts organized before heading home.

I'm not sure I'd share you might not have a job soon, that might worry them. But you could tell them that work is a little tough right now, so you need them to be a little extra on top of things like homework and pull their fair share for now. Or prepare them for the fact that it might be a small Christmas this year. My parents gave us small Christmas talks a few time and we were ok with it. Sometimes, they were small other times work pulled through and it was normal.

I'm sorry you are going through this, I was a middle/ regional manager when we went through some major restructuring and it was hard, and I didn't have children then. I'm not sure I have any good advice, but I can tell you a Yorkie bar was often helpful. (Turns out they are just fine for girls!)
Hope it all works out for you, sounds like maintaining as much of a sense of humour as possible with your children is the best approach!

I knit on the train for this reason. It helps me leave the last lot of stress behind before I go into the next.