aibu not to tell him I'm pregnant?

[namechangingcosyolo]

This is going to be long and boring and I may get flamed but I am so desperate, skip to bottom if you're not interested in the backstory.

I'd been chatting online to a nice bloke for a couple of months (there's a big age difference, I'm 18 and I accept that I'm also an idiot.) We saw each other a few times, talked late every night, we talked about how to regularly see each other, Christmas plans and all that jazz. He told me how amazing I am and how we ~emotionally connected~. Idiot self agreed to unprotected sex because I am on the pill which has served me well for a long time but has chosen the most inconvenient time to fail. When I told him I suspected I was pregnant, he told me not to be daft.
The first time we saw each other, I got some abusive tweets/facebook messages off someone claiming to be his girlfriend, he showed me texts saying they'd broken up a while ago over something petty and their relationship had been a standing joke for a while and he hadn't thought to mention her. This continued and he told me to ignore it, so I did. Obviously upsetting but I believed him. There was a few incidents with her acting oddly including breaking things in his house in a temper.
The last time we talked, I had stayed at his house overnight, he stayed in bed late for a cuddle and left me a key so I could sleep later and let myself out. We planned our next sleepover, and then he stopped answering. I waited for a message for a couple of days, only to find out that I had been blocked on all the ways I had to contact him, cue drunken crying in Wetherspoons. I posted a note through his door asking for an explanation as everything had seemed fine prior to this. I got back a message from his girlfriend telling me I'd just been a quick shag, he didn't want me, don't come to the house again etc.

TL/DR
Blood tests confirmed pregnancy, I suspect the father doesn't want to know, should I attempt to let him know? I don't think I want to carry on with the pregnancy but everyone seems to be telling me he has a right to know.

Why would you tell this abusive older man that you were pregnant if you were planning not to keep the baby, Tootsie?

Not sure why to be absolutely honest. I think I'd feel obligated to tell him as I'd be terminating half his dna. I certainly wouldn't be asking his opinion on the matter, but I would want him to know.

If the OP doesn't want to tell him, she doesn't have to. He certainly doesn't have a right to know, and she doesn't owe him anything. I can only speak to what i think I would do under such difficult circumstances.

Hope you're ok OP. I agree no need to tell him

In your position I would:

1 - get a termination
2 - get an STI test
3 - never have any contact with him again
4 - go speak to the family planning nurse - if the pill failed while you were taking it correctly (and you hadn't been ill) then maybe another form of contraception would be better for you
5 - assume that any man who you haven't known for very long who wants to have sex without a condom is a wrong'un

Agree with everyone else - don't tell him. Do what you have to do and don't look back. Good luck.

If you're not continuing with the pregnancy then I wouldn't have any further contact with him and I'd never look back. If you're an idiot, then so are lots of us. Everyone makes bad decisions/takes risks, the consequences are just a matter of luck. Look after yourself.

Don't tell him unless you decide to continue the pregnancy after all. Do get checked for STI regardless of abortion or continued pregnancy. Have a good think about the pregnancy and talk to people who can help, make sure abortion is what you really want. If you decide to have the baby you will cope but if you decide against a child now that is equally understandable. Look after yourself.

Don't tell him. He has no right to know, doesn't deserve to know and would either ignore and not care or try and impose his choices on you. He was a complete cunt to treat you like that.

Good luck with the termination. Take care of yourself and even if you did decide to continue, you don't need to even be thinking about this twat right now.